Parents and school involvement

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Parents and school involvement
2586
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 8:49am

My question stems from a personal experience. My middle child is starting kindergarten next week. I've become fairly close with one of my dd's friend's moms- this is her first child entering the school system. She WOH, I do not, plus I have experience with the school, so she's been calling me with questions and comments.

It started to go bad when she called to complain that the kindy orientation is during the day- when she is working. Then it led to complaints about the parents' read aloud program (when the kids are in library) and other opportunities for volunteerism in the school. I get that these things aren't convenient for her, but I'm getting annoyed with the complaining. How can the kids have an orientation at night when they go to school during the day? None of these events are mandatory for parents or kids. And plenty of activities are scheduled for evenings: Back to school night, the PTA picnic, etc.

She thinks because she can't participate, no one should be able to, apparently. Plenty of WOHP do show up for these things. I think she's being unrealistic if she thought she could put a couple of kids through school without ever taking a vacation day. Am I wrong? Am I missing something here?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 2:46pm

<<I could care less what they do.>>


Your previous post states otherwise.


<<You should know about debating, I am just taking what she is saying. >>


and leaping, as usual.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 2:47pm
She has said many things for me to say what I have in other posts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 2:50pm

<<Communication is HUGE in marriage.>>


Never said differently, but of course that doesn't answer my question.


<<I am sure you know that.>>


Yes, I do know that, but again that doesn't answer my question.


<<I might not know exactly what my dh is talking about either when he talks about work but I do care what he is doing at work and why he is working late. His job is not just his paycheck. >>


Where did she say that it was just a paycheck?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 2:50pm
If I didn't know why my dh was working so many long hours I wouldn't say I had any communication either. I didn't mean that she should necessarily know which account/meeting/client he was working on specifically at every minute. But someone with communication might know if their husband was working long hours because he felt that he needed to be there long hours to get ahead, or whether he really had that much work to do, whether there had been layoffs/cutbacks that led to a larger workload, or whether his business just really entails working that many hours to get ahead, or really he is a workaholic and finds it hard to pack up and go home at quitting time. There's probably several more I haevn't thought of. When I said I'd know why my dh was working long hours I meant day to day if it was unusual or in general if it was a normal thing that he worked long hours. Espcially since she recently told him he had to come home at 5 pm, if there is communication there should have been a conversation in there about why he could or could not or needed to or did not need to stay past 5 pm.

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 2:51pm
Yes, I do not know her or her dh but when you start talking about your family, you get an idea what is going on with families.
You just can not be naive and expect to have a solid marriage when you don't care why your spouse is working late. She said those exact words. I did not make it up.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 2:52pm

snort.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 2:57pm

<<Yes, I do not know her or her dh but when you start talking about your family, you get an idea what is going on with families.>>


I totally disagree.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2003
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 2:57pm

Both, if I'm having a bad day one of them might come over and either help for a few hours or let me get out to go shopping or something, they also will sometimes watch the kids so we can go out to dinner or a movie.

 

Shari mother to

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 2:58pm
spending time with you will not make up for them not spending time with their dad
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 2:59pm

I did NOT call YOU naive. It was a general statement about any spouse.

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