Parents and school involvement

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Parents and school involvement
2586
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 8:49am

My question stems from a personal experience. My middle child is starting kindergarten next week. I've become fairly close with one of my dd's friend's moms- this is her first child entering the school system. She WOH, I do not, plus I have experience with the school, so she's been calling me with questions and comments.

It started to go bad when she called to complain that the kindy orientation is during the day- when she is working. Then it led to complaints about the parents' read aloud program (when the kids are in library) and other opportunities for volunteerism in the school. I get that these things aren't convenient for her, but I'm getting annoyed with the complaining. How can the kids have an orientation at night when they go to school during the day? None of these events are mandatory for parents or kids. And plenty of activities are scheduled for evenings: Back to school night, the PTA picnic, etc.

She thinks because she can't participate, no one should be able to, apparently. Plenty of WOHP do show up for these things. I think she's being unrealistic if she thought she could put a couple of kids through school without ever taking a vacation day. Am I wrong? Am I missing something here?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2003
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 3:22pm

First I said I don't know the exact reason, wether it be meetings, busy time of year, problems, ect.

 

Shari mother to

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 3:23pm

<<I think it's odd that someone wouldn't have any idea about why their spouse needed to work long hours. >>


She posted why, something about working for a private company single owner kind of thing that expected him to be there when they wanted him to be there.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 3:23pm

Yes there are quite a few sahps here in the DC area - but most bought their house at least 7 years ago. As well as quite a few dual ftwohps and quite a few ptwohps as well as a smattering of retired parents. There is no norm in my neighborhood.

"does the wohp salary need to net high 6 figures to survive? " Not at all. I only know one or two families that net high 6 figures (as that would require a 7 figure salary and those are rare even here.) OTOH, I know many families more than surviving while they gross in the low 6 figures ($120k-$150k). I know several families who do fine with less. Once housing is set, the DC area is replete with low cost family activities.

There is no decent affordable family housing in the neigborhood of $200k. A small one bedroom condo or studio condo is the best you can hope for.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 3:26pm
GASP! You don't care?? What kind of marriage do you have????
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 3:27pm
Yes SK did post that today I just read it a few posts ago. But when I read yesterday that she had no idea why he worked late & didn't really care, I thought it odd.

VickiSiggy.jpg picture by mamalahk

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 3:27pm
I live in the DC area and my mortgage is significantly less than $2000 per month. It all depends on when you bought. I would not recommend moving here and buying a house in today's market. The rental market is better at the moment.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2003
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 3:28pm

My kids don't have a problem doing things with others either, they just don't like daycare for long periods of time.

 

Shari mother to

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2005
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 3:32pm
If you feel guilty, that is not me, that is you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 3:33pm
i don't consider sah a universal arrangement for all who can afford it. i don't think all parents are cut out to be ah with their kids which traditionally,sahps spend more time doing....but i do have respect for shari's convictions and i'm confused as to why you challenge her words instead of simply answering why sah doesn't work for you. unless situations have changed,haven't you asserted that your p/t income is what helps provide selective activity interests for your boys? you've also asserted that sah is nothing but 30 hours to yourself. are those the only reasons why you chose one over the other?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 3:34pm
Why should she feel guilty? She didn't call anyone any names.

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