Parents and school involvement

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Parents and school involvement
2586
Thu, 08-23-2007 - 8:49am

My question stems from a personal experience. My middle child is starting kindergarten next week. I've become fairly close with one of my dd's friend's moms- this is her first child entering the school system. She WOH, I do not, plus I have experience with the school, so she's been calling me with questions and comments.

It started to go bad when she called to complain that the kindy orientation is during the day- when she is working. Then it led to complaints about the parents' read aloud program (when the kids are in library) and other opportunities for volunteerism in the school. I get that these things aren't convenient for her, but I'm getting annoyed with the complaining. How can the kids have an orientation at night when they go to school during the day? None of these events are mandatory for parents or kids. And plenty of activities are scheduled for evenings: Back to school night, the PTA picnic, etc.

She thinks because she can't participate, no one should be able to, apparently. Plenty of WOHP do show up for these things. I think she's being unrealistic if she thought she could put a couple of kids through school without ever taking a vacation day. Am I wrong? Am I missing something here?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 3:29pm

Wow. So how would you explain the fact that one child in a family likes the environment but the other child doesn't? Did they both sense that Mom was indifferent about the situation and decide between themselves to split the difference?

Of course a parent's reaction will influence how a child reacts to things, but I think many children develop preferences and opinions quite independently of what their parents may prefer. My child didn't develop a fondness for Barney when he was a toddler because I was so darned enthused about the big purple guy. Of that I am quite sure.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 3:32pm

No. You have all along said that some people HAVE to work, and you have graciously pardoned them for the potential harm their absence is inflicting on their children. You did say that a mother who could choose to stay home but didn't was putting the acquisition of material things above the best interests of her child. As if the acquisition of material things were more important to any mother who could stay home but didn't than the welfare of her child. That kind of statement begs several questions, but I don't see how it could be taken as anything but a rude assumption.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2003
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 3:35pm

Well then please share with me your reason for WOH.


Shari

 

Shari mother to

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 3:41pm

I'm not Lois ... but can I play too?

I work because:

1) It provides a better QOL for me and my children, including ample savings, retirement funding, college funding, extracurricular activities, a house that's bigger and better than a shack, quality food to eat, quality clothes to wear, the occasional family vacation, etc.
2) I enjoy working. Not only do I enjoy being out of the house and contributing to something larger, but I enjoy my actual job and what I do on a daily basis.
3) I, personally, am a better mom when I work, in that I am a more intellecturally fulfilled, mentally stable, and emotionally stable mom. I'm much more pleasant to be around, lol.
4) I see no overwhelming reason to SAH
5) I have deep belief that it is my duty to financially contribute to my family
6) The few negatives associated with me WOH are very very very small, while the benefits are very very very big

I'm sure there are some I forgot.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 3:46pm

I actually already have, but I am no more inclined to look up the post in this monster thread than you are.

I work outside the home because I am good at what I do and because I can do so without compromising on my ability to run my home and raise my children and love my husband and do everything else I want to do before I leave the planet. I work outside the home because nothing in the world energizes me more than being in a classroom full of people who are learning to become excited about my subject. I work outside the home because it excites me to learn and I am being paid to learn more every day, or at least every week. I work outside the home because I feel a debt of obligation to those who came before me and taught me and loved the field and invested themselves in me so that I could turn around and do it for someone else. I work outside the home because it gives me (and my family) opportunities to do things that we would never get to do if it weren't for this job. We aren't a family that collects "things" so much as we are a family that collects "experiences."

There's more, but that's enough for now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 4:04pm

Can you really not imagine someone who chooses to work while they have children

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 4:06pm

My offer to be adopted into your family still stands.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2003
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 4:12pm

1) It provides a better QOL for me and my children, including ample savings, retirement funding, college funding, extracurricular activities, a house that's bigger and better than a shack, quality food to eat, quality clothes to wear, the occasional family vacation, etc.


Many of these are "things", but actually we do all the same minus the college funding too.


2) I enjoy working. Not only do I enjoy being out of the house and contributing to something larger, but I enjoy my actual job and what I do on a daily basis.


I enjoyed working too, but now to get out of the house I do more volunteer work, that way it's not an every day thing.


3) I, personally, am a better mom when I work, in that I am a more intellecturally fulfilled, mentally stable, and emotionally stable mom. I'm much more pleasant to be around, lol.


I'm pretty much opposite here.

 

Shari mother to

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2003
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 4:15pm

I do understand your reasons to work.

 

Shari mother to

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2003
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 4:18pm

Yes I am starting to better understand some people's reasons for WOH.

 

Shari mother to

Pages