Parents Of Only Children
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Parents Of Only Children
| Sun, 07-27-2003 - 11:00am |
I'm a parent of an only child. I feel that it's totally up to a couple how many kids they
want. I'm just tired of people making remarks to people who have only one child. They say things like "When are you going to have another?" or You're going to have a spoiled brat if you only have one". I don't hear it so much now, but when my daughter was between 2-6 years old I heard it alot. I would never say to a parent of 3-4 kids "Why did you have so many?" because it's none of my business. Are there any other parents of only children that have experienced this before?
want. I'm just tired of people making remarks to people who have only one child. They say things like "When are you going to have another?" or You're going to have a spoiled brat if you only have one". I don't hear it so much now, but when my daughter was between 2-6 years old I heard it alot. I would never say to a parent of 3-4 kids "Why did you have so many?" because it's none of my business. Are there any other parents of only children that have experienced this before?
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I see this a lot with people who are over-weight or under-weight. I don't think I have ONCE seen an article on how "fat" Camryn Manheim is. But you see them almost monthly (or more often) about how "deathly" Calista Flockhart or Lara Flynn Boyle are. Heck, *I* used to get comments from complete strangers all the time. Of coarse that was before my hormones went all psycho and I gained 40+ pounds. ;) I was an athlete, and VERY small. I weighed more than people though because most of me was muscle, but just by looking at me you couldn't tell that. And complete strangers would make comments about me. I would overhear conversations about "well SHE must be anorexic" or "you know SHE is going to go throw that up!". UGH!!! Drove me INSANE.
Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14
Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14
Linda
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Linda - wife, mother, grandmum                     &nb
First of all, I don't feel that I have to explain my medical history to the world, so I don't ever explain my reasons...that I was told another pregnancy would probably kill me (the last one almost did) and that I feel my child needs a mother more than he needs a sibling. I also don't feel that I need to explain to anyone that I don't even know for sure that I'd WANT to have another child, or that the child I have (who has special needs) keeps me busy to the point of exhaustion, and I'd never be able to give another child the attention s/he deserved.
So I just say, "It works just perfectly for us." They usually don't pursue it further.
My SO, on the other hand, gets LOTS of comments about having "so many" children. He has 3. I don't think it's that many, although for a single dad with no help it's pretty overwhelming.
No wonder we get a glazed look in our eyes whenever anyone (usually one of the kids) suggests that we should become a Brady Bunch.LOL We're both completely overwhelmed as it is. ;-)
I think that there are just some people who have to find something to be negative about, and every once in a while, we're lucky enough to cross their paths and be the targets of their negativity. It goes away quickly enough. :-)
Just gasp and then laugh. Then you follow with something on the order of, "I swear, I think my hearing must be going. For a minute there, I actually thought you had asked me when I was going to try for a boy." If the snoop is really thick-headed, you can pound the point home with, "Why on earth would you want to ask such a personal question?"
People used to badger me all the time, but it finally stopped when I turned 40. (As if that was some kind of magic menopause number. Silly people.)
I have never understood why when you are pregnant or have children that people think it is okay to ask very personal questions about your life. When ds was born, we had a period of time in which the only health insurance we had was through the military, and we live in a very civilian town. I had to take my kids to the Medicaid clinic until dh's new insurance kicked in. Anyhow, while sitting in the waiting room for ds' 2 week appointment, with my 11 month old dd in tow, the young girl next to me, who was pregnant for the first time and anxious was asking me all sorts of questions about labor. After a while, she just blurted out, 'Do both your kids have the same daddy?' - I about fell outta my chair.
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