Practical or Philosophical?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Practical or Philosophical?
25
Mon, 06-30-2008 - 12:24pm

Is your current work status (woh, sah, everything in between) because of practical reasons or philosophical reasons? Or a mixture of both?

What are they? Have they changed as your children have grown?

How much time did you and your partner take to make each of your work status decisions?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-1998
Wed, 07-09-2008 - 5:59pm

Is your current work status (woh, sah, everything in between) because of practical reasons or philosophical reasons? Or a mixture of both?


They were mostly practical, but early on, there were some philosophical reasons.


What are they? Have they changed as your children have grown?


DH has always had a job that demanded a lot of travel and many hours. My job also required some travel, and some inconsistent hours. It was hard to manage this and still have family time when the kids were little. Neither one of us had a very flexible schedule. We would go for a week without having a real conversation, and it was very hard on our marriage.


When my second child was a newborn, we had a traumatic death in the family that made me want to reconsider how I spent my time, what I valued, etc., so when DH was asked to move to another state a

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
Wed, 07-09-2008 - 3:13pm

As a teacher, my choice to work is philosophical.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2006
Wed, 07-09-2008 - 7:16am

I'm not entirely sure if/where I fit into this debate. I am a FT WOHM, but I am the non custodial parent. I am not remarried, but SO and I live together.

"Is your current work status (woh, sah, everything in between) because of practical reasons or philosophical reasons? Or a mixture of both?"

A mixture of both. Practical because I really have no other option, and philosophical because I am hard pressed to think of any circumstance where I or SO would feel compelled to support the other financially. In addition, DD is not his child, and he has no obligation to support her financially. That is my job. And given that I have a child to support, will most likely have to support my parents to at least some degree later on, and have considerable medical expenses of my own, I will not and cannot support him either.

"What are they? Have they changed as your children have grown?"

I have FT WOH for most of DD's life. The only time I didn't was for a couple of years when she was 2-4 yo. But I was not so much a SAHM as I was a SAH mental patient who was barely even capable of parenting. She stayed with her grandparents for a lot of it.

"How much time did you and your partner take to make each of your work status decisions?"

None whatsoever. He had no interest in supporting me/DD and I had no interest in letting him. We live together and co-own a fish tank. Beyond that we have completely separate finances. Seeing how difficult it is for us to even agree on matters concerning the apartment and the fish tank (if I had a dollar for everytime I have heard or said "It's half mine!", well you know the rest), I think it's best if we keep it the way it is.

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Avatar for 4thekids2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-02-2008 - 3:56pm

Literally from the age of about 2 on I said I wnated 6 kids, from 12 on I said I wanted 5 boys and 1 girl.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 07-02-2008 - 8:47am

wow.

 

Avatar for ariesgirl26
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 5:15pm

Is your current work status (woh, sah, everything in between) because of practical reasons or philosophical reasons? Or a mixture of both?~~I chose to SAH, because I would be darned if I had to pay up the you know what for childcare, plus, it made sense to hubby and I that I stay home.~~


What are they? Have they changed as your children have grown?~~yes, all three of my kids will now be in full time school this september and I plan on working Mother's hours, otherwise I will be ripping my hair out, out of pure boredom.~~


How much time did you and your partner take to make each of your work status decisions?~~Not long, we both agreed I would stay home until all three were in full time school, so far it has worked out very well. My husband makes enough to food on the table, pay bills, and still have money to spend for fun.~~





iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 2:19pm

They are doing well, DS1 started strings camp in your neck of the woods - today. He had alot of fun. Glad the job is working out.

The boys are not doing swim team this year (it conflicts with other camps and they weren't very gung ho). Our club dropped down this year- so it is not as intense at the meets.

DS2 had football camp last week and wants more- unfortunately the only other football camp nearby will be the same week as his trip to Goshen. However, we just found out the Falls Church will be having a flag football league can join!!!! Before thy closest ones were in Herndon or Springfield. We were very leery of the regular fall football here- it requires 3 nights a week for practices and all day Sat. or Sun for the games (which could be as far away as Gainsville-(ugh) for nine year olds for crying out loud. Plus there are not too many kindred spirit parents in that group (my Prius with the Obama sticker would not fit in).

Avatar for 4thekids2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 1:06pm

Is your current work status (woh, sah, everything in between) because of practical reasons or philosophical reasons? Or a mixture of both?


Both but I think it started out purely philosophical on my end. Now it's mainly about practicality and about doing the things I want to do with the kids(filed trips, class parties,being home with them when they are sick)


What are they? Have they changed as your children have grown?


Initially I wanted to SAH because I just knew it's what I wanted for me, my kids and my family. I still do but the plan I had for going back to work

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 12:58pm
Fine, thanks!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 11:05am
This us us.

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