Priorities

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Priorities
472
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 3:45pm
Inspired by the discussion below on how working moms sometimes find themselves in a position to "cut corners," I got to thinking about priorities -- what things are you willing to "let go" and what things are you absolutely insistent on in your own life? I mean, we are all busy women, whether we work outside the home or not; most of us are involved in community and/or school volunteering, religious communities, political activism, running busy households....how do you decided what to "let go," and for those of you that WOH/WAH, how would your priorities be different if you SAH? For those of you that SAH, how do you think your priorities might have to shift if you were to WAH or WOH?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2009
In reply to: bordwithyou
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 4:02pm

I did make the shift from SAH to WOH. One thing that I let go was lawn care, my DH took over that chore (for the most part I still occasionally help).

Although it has nothing to do with my work status but more to do with my age. I have let go a bit on housework. It just does not matter as much to me as it did in the past. I think one part of it was with children in the home I felt I had to be a god role model in keeping a clean house. Not an issue any more.

One thing I will not give up is sleep. I will never be one of those people who stays up late to finish a chore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
In reply to: bordwithyou
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 4:07pm

I'll answer my own question and say that since I am a WOH mostly by choice rather than necessity, I have always felt that my children should not have to give up anything significant because of my choice to WOH....that my "wants" shouldn't always trump theirs. When they have wanted to do something, I haven't let my WOH stand in the way, we've always found a way to make it happen. So my kids getting to experience the things they want to do, and that we believe are appropriate, has always been a priority.

We "cut corners" by sometimes hiring people to do things we are perfectly capable of doing for ourselves. My husband has been meaning to restain the deck for a couple of years. If he doesn't get to it next summer, we hire somebody.

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
In reply to: bordwithyou
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 4:11pm

We live in a shack, basically. It is a clean shack, because Paulina comes and cleans everything every week. But, I do not bother with too much cutesy stuff. What time I devote to "home-making" consists mostly of food shopping, cooking and cleaning after meals. 2-3 times a year, I make an excursion to Ikea for bits and pieces.

Ideally I would like to live in a nice home and more the way I grew up, but realistically I do not really want to make the time nor do I want to have to convince dh that we need real furniture, real light fixtures, real cutlery, antique carpets etc. My mother is somewhere between horrified and confused about dh's lack of interest in such things, but she does not have to live with us.

In short, food takes priority, the rest no so much.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: bordwithyou
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 4:15pm

I'm trying to think where

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: bordwithyou
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 4:16pm

But it doesn't sounds like a consequence of working, am I reading this wrong?


PumpkinAngel

Avatar for rollmops2009
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
In reply to: bordwithyou
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 4:19pm
Yes, it is to some extent. If I had nothing better to do, I would probably throw my energy there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
In reply to: bordwithyou
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 4:23pm
There are things I love to do that I don't do much because of the demands of work such as gardening, sewing, and scrapbooking. I'd do more of those things if I had more time. I'd probably join a woman's circle at church. One of the things I do find about being a WOH is that I do sometimes say "no" to things I'd rather not do but probably would (committees at school, things like that)if I didn't have the job.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
In reply to: bordwithyou
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 5:54pm

Where I would "cut corners" if I became a woh is probably in the yard. We would hire a lawn service instead of doing it ourselves. I would also gain an every week (instead of every other week) cleaning lady. I would not be expanding our garden and we would join a veggie/fruit CSA at full throttle instead of half (as I would not be able to go to the Friday morning farmer's market). I would not be doing as much volunteering at church or in the community and my new exercise program would be severely curtailed.

The main thing I would lose in the parenting department is the twice weekly 5 minute conversation I have with YDS's reading tutor. We have found those conversations to most beneficial and YDS would bear the brunt of the lack of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
In reply to: bordwithyou
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 6:56pm

Yes, the cutting corners because I woh is basically stuff or activities for me that don't hugely impact the rest of the family.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2009
In reply to: bordwithyou
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 7:12pm

If you didn't work would your children be involved in activities as much as they are now?

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