The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands
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| Wed, 07-11-2007 - 6:29pm |
I recently read "The Proper Care & Feeding of Relationships" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger and was surprised to find I agreed with much of what she said in the book...so I returned to the library to borrow "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" and again...I find I agree with most of what she writes. I would have scoffed at the titles alone 12 years ago when I was married, working up the corporate ladder with my 2 year old in dc full time from 11 months on. I thought I had it all.
I ended up divorced and now the 2 year old is 14 and I realized recently how fast she is growing up and that I really missed a lot of time with her and my husband by choice(working).
I am remarried and 3 yrs ago our son was born. I returned to work when he was 10 months and found what I think is the best dayhome I could have...they were amazing and very loving. Our family is very close with them now....I was working(primary breadwinner) and couldn't shake the feeling that I was putting my career ahead of my family when my family is monumentally more important to me than the money I was bringing in. We COULD change our situation to enable me to be at home...so we did and I now wonder why any mother who is emotionally healthy and does not *have* to work for the family to get by....doesn't stay at home? I am not meaning that disrespectfully or sarcastically as I myself did not make that choice with myt first. I resigned 9 months ago. I am proud to be at home even though I wasn't with my first(which I now regret but didn't think I would!). I am proud to send my husband off to work with hot coffee and a lunch I made that always includes homebaked treats....welcome him home to a clean home and wonderful meal...spend my days teaching my son and playing with him; treasuring it sincerely...and being here for my 14 year old daughter whether she needs me to yell at; or hug and talk...or just to stop her from sitting on the computer all day or getting into mischief.
To give you the tone of the books I will give you a couple of excerpts;
"The issue of "roles" in a marriage and family is often a sensitive one. Stay-at-home moms as well as hardworking primary-breadwinner men are not given much respect from our society-at-large. Feminist educators and activists keep trying to squeeze men and women into niches that may simply not be a good match for their innate qualites...as well as their masculine and feminine drives. It is more in the female nature to nest and nurture. It is more in the male nature to conquer and protect. Frankly, the more we ignore the true, inherent masculine and feminine qualites of people, the farther apart we pull them."
"...feminism has brainwashed women to believe that all men are inconsiderate beasts you can't rely on. Therefore, the threat goes, never give up your independence. This mentality has confsed and frightened women into an avoidance of becoming dependant on their men. To protect themselves, women ferociously parry with their men, while denigrating their own desires to tend the home and raise children. Then they call me all angry and depressed... nd they think it is because of their husbands."
So...what do you think?
*edit to correct a typo
Edited 7/11/2007 7:57 pm ET by hi_kimmie


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If you had read the post you were replying to I stated that I DID use preschool for my daughter.
I would personally not choose to put my 3 month old in daycare but wouldn't question a parent that feels it's okay. Just different preferences or circumstances. I have worked out of home as well so rest assured I have experience in the shoes of a parent plunking their child in daycare. Did it once and prefer to be the one with my child prior to kindergarden.
Great daycare...I just like being with my child and regret the time away from the first.
Yes...I plunked her in daycare. Yes, now that she is getting older and time has flown by I wish I had spent more hours with her than with my job(s)/career. That is MY thing and I completely understand that many moms don't feel they missed out regardless of how many hours they chose to be at home, work, wherever.
I think you're right in that the children will not know the difference in 20 years but I will. I also find that my son has an appreciation and love for many of the things that we spend our days "at home" together doing that he would not be exposed to in a daycare setting.
That doesn't mean they are better "things" per se...but they are more important to my family.
"However I AM talking about certyain people on this board who feel women with education (only from college or university) are superior to women who don't! THAT is what I disagree with."
I think a person is always better off (not morally superior) with some post-high school education, rather than none.
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Yes, that might make a difference to many people. I'm not in a field where I can take 5 or 10 years off and hope to get right back into the same type of position.
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Are you being non-judgmentally judgmental or judgmentally non-judgmental?
Yeah well, that's just, ya know, like, your opinion, man-The Big Lebowski
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