The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2003
The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands
1731
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 6:29pm

I recently read "The Proper Care & Feeding of Relationships" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger and was surprised to find I agreed with much of what she said in the book...so I returned to the library to borrow "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" and again...I find I agree with most of what she writes. I would have scoffed at the titles alone 12 years ago when I was married, working up the corporate ladder with my 2 year old in dc full time from 11 months on. I thought I had it all.

I ended up divorced and now the 2 year old is 14 and I realized recently how fast she is growing up and that I really missed a lot of time with her and my husband by choice(working).

I am remarried and 3 yrs ago our son was born. I returned to work when he was 10 months and found what I think is the best dayhome I could have...they were amazing and very loving. Our family is very close with them now....I was working(primary breadwinner) and couldn't shake the feeling that I was putting my career ahead of my family when my family is monumentally more important to me than the money I was bringing in. We COULD change our situation to enable me to be at home...so we did and I now wonder why any mother who is emotionally healthy and does not *have* to work for the family to get by....doesn't stay at home? I am not meaning that disrespectfully or sarcastically as I myself did not make that choice with myt first. I resigned 9 months ago. I am proud to be at home even though I wasn't with my first(which I now regret but didn't think I would!). I am proud to send my husband off to work with hot coffee and a lunch I made that always includes homebaked treats....welcome him home to a clean home and wonderful meal...spend my days teaching my son and playing with him; treasuring it sincerely...and being here for my 14 year old daughter whether she needs me to yell at; or hug and talk...or just to stop her from sitting on the computer all day or getting into mischief.

To give you the tone of the books I will give you a couple of excerpts;

"The issue of "roles" in a marriage and family is often a sensitive one. Stay-at-home moms as well as hardworking primary-breadwinner men are not given much respect from our society-at-large. Feminist educators and activists keep trying to squeeze men and women into niches that may simply not be a good match for their innate qualites...as well as their masculine and feminine drives. It is more in the female nature to nest and nurture. It is more in the male nature to conquer and protect. Frankly, the more we ignore the true, inherent masculine and feminine qualites of people, the farther apart we pull them."

"...feminism has brainwashed women to believe that all men are inconsiderate beasts you can't rely on. Therefore, the threat goes, never give up your independence. This mentality has confsed and frightened women into an avoidance of becoming dependant on their men. To protect themselves, women ferociously parry with their men, while denigrating their own desires to tend the home and raise children. Then they call me all angry and depressed... nd they think it is because of their husbands."

So...what do you think?

*edit to correct a typo




Edited 7/11/2007 7:57 pm ET by hi_kimmie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 9:58am
If the children are not spoiled drama queens who don't appreciate the company of the mother, sometimes they are nice to hang with and vice versa.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2007
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 9:58am
*shudder*
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 10:03am
You got it, babe. Mine are free to hang with me anytime they like, as long as they pour my diet cokes and touch up my manicure ;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 10:03am
I was asking her, her opinion.

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Avatar for mkatherine
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 10:04am
the greatest skill Liza mastered this summer was getting the correct ration of cream to sugar in my coffee each morning... ;-)

 

Yes. We. Did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 10:05am
Momtojj, thanks for jumping right in and responding to several of my posts.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 10:36am
That one will stand her in good stead for many years, Lord willing. Mine have been in my hair way too much, so I'm looking for a good workshop on massage therapy. Not for me, for them ;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 10:51am

I realized that when I read the explaination you gave another poster, which I read after I posted my reply. You can click on your post number in the post that you are replying to to refresh your memory of your post A. After you have read that post, just ckick the back arrow, which will take you back to the reply window so that you can reply to post B which is in response to your post A. If all that makes sense.

Example: I'm replying to your post #1147 which is in response to my post #1138. To refresh my memory of what I wrote in #1138, I can click on that number in your post #1147. That will come up on the screen, I can read it, click on the back arrow. Come back to the compose your message window and post my answer to your post #1147.

Chris

The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 10:54am
Or, better yet, right click on #1138 and tell it to open in another window. Then you have both 1147 and 1138 open.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2003
Tue, 07-24-2007 - 11:05am
I definately need bbq chicken today :)

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