The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands
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| Wed, 07-11-2007 - 6:29pm |
I recently read "The Proper Care & Feeding of Relationships" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger and was surprised to find I agreed with much of what she said in the book...so I returned to the library to borrow "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" and again...I find I agree with most of what she writes. I would have scoffed at the titles alone 12 years ago when I was married, working up the corporate ladder with my 2 year old in dc full time from 11 months on. I thought I had it all.
I ended up divorced and now the 2 year old is 14 and I realized recently how fast she is growing up and that I really missed a lot of time with her and my husband by choice(working).
I am remarried and 3 yrs ago our son was born. I returned to work when he was 10 months and found what I think is the best dayhome I could have...they were amazing and very loving. Our family is very close with them now....I was working(primary breadwinner) and couldn't shake the feeling that I was putting my career ahead of my family when my family is monumentally more important to me than the money I was bringing in. We COULD change our situation to enable me to be at home...so we did and I now wonder why any mother who is emotionally healthy and does not *have* to work for the family to get by....doesn't stay at home? I am not meaning that disrespectfully or sarcastically as I myself did not make that choice with myt first. I resigned 9 months ago. I am proud to be at home even though I wasn't with my first(which I now regret but didn't think I would!). I am proud to send my husband off to work with hot coffee and a lunch I made that always includes homebaked treats....welcome him home to a clean home and wonderful meal...spend my days teaching my son and playing with him; treasuring it sincerely...and being here for my 14 year old daughter whether she needs me to yell at; or hug and talk...or just to stop her from sitting on the computer all day or getting into mischief.
To give you the tone of the books I will give you a couple of excerpts;
"The issue of "roles" in a marriage and family is often a sensitive one. Stay-at-home moms as well as hardworking primary-breadwinner men are not given much respect from our society-at-large. Feminist educators and activists keep trying to squeeze men and women into niches that may simply not be a good match for their innate qualites...as well as their masculine and feminine drives. It is more in the female nature to nest and nurture. It is more in the male nature to conquer and protect. Frankly, the more we ignore the true, inherent masculine and feminine qualites of people, the farther apart we pull them."
"...feminism has brainwashed women to believe that all men are inconsiderate beasts you can't rely on. Therefore, the threat goes, never give up your independence. This mentality has confsed and frightened women into an avoidance of becoming dependant on their men. To protect themselves, women ferociously parry with their men, while denigrating their own desires to tend the home and raise children. Then they call me all angry and depressed... nd they think it is because of their husbands."
So...what do you think?
*edit to correct a typo
Edited 7/11/2007 7:57 pm ET by hi_kimmie


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But your dd is allowed a tv and computer, currently?
PumpkinAngel
Now that sounds right up Dylan's alley. Where can I sign him up?
Chris
The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett
<< I would rather be with my kids than pawn them off. >>
First pluck them somewhere, now pawn them off?
PumpkinAngel
Plus i've often found those "no tv at ALL' kids are the ones who don't know how to turn it off when they are at a house WITH tv b/c it's forbidden fruit. There aRE good things on tv just like there are good movies and good books and even god forbid a few good computer games - it's all part of the mix of LIFE.
I remember when liza was 2-3 and goign through her Barney stage and one of my friends said "I don't allow my dd to watch Barney b/c I can't stand it" and I said "well it's not about what I like, it's about what LIZA likes...so honestly... it doesn' tmatter to me if I like it- she loves it!" again I got that thousand yard stare and the subtext of "you crappy mom you"
ah well.... she'll think differently when liza and I become the first mother daughter team to compete on the World Series of Pop Culture.... ;-)
Yes. We. Did.
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Change the she to he and that's what I am trying to do.
PumpkinAngel
I agree with most of that article. Whatever happened to interacting with the kids over day-to-day living?
Chris
The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett
"I would rather be with my kids than pawn them off."
Lol, you are making it way to easy for the ladies around here who are waiting to pounce.
Robin
I remember stating very emphatically that MY sons would watch more more than 30 minutes of tv and would never get a gameboy. Ha ha ha. One of several prechild statements I have had to eat. Being a parent sommetimes means eating alot of crow.
Who knew I would give birth to a boy who is moderately-severely dylexic (we don't know yet) and an aural learner. Watching educational shows is HOW he learns and absorbs information - playing certain educational computer games helps too.. Thanks to the great mother that Cyber chase, NOVA, Nature, .....exist. He will need to be very computer proficient to be a successful adult.
Who knew that I would have children who are not very coordinated, not very athletic, prone to weight gain and would excersize on a treadmill while watching tv? (okay well, we knew that was a possiblitiy- but I was hoping that DH's genes would dominate.)
Moderation moderation moderation. (It is even okay to moderate moderation every once in while (aka- get CRAZY from time to time!!)
Cool...I wish we received enough snow to cross country ski on a regular basis, I would love to learn.
PumpkinAngel
Yes. We. Did.
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