The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands
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| Wed, 07-11-2007 - 6:29pm |
I recently read "The Proper Care & Feeding of Relationships" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger and was surprised to find I agreed with much of what she said in the book...so I returned to the library to borrow "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" and again...I find I agree with most of what she writes. I would have scoffed at the titles alone 12 years ago when I was married, working up the corporate ladder with my 2 year old in dc full time from 11 months on. I thought I had it all.
I ended up divorced and now the 2 year old is 14 and I realized recently how fast she is growing up and that I really missed a lot of time with her and my husband by choice(working).
I am remarried and 3 yrs ago our son was born. I returned to work when he was 10 months and found what I think is the best dayhome I could have...they were amazing and very loving. Our family is very close with them now....I was working(primary breadwinner) and couldn't shake the feeling that I was putting my career ahead of my family when my family is monumentally more important to me than the money I was bringing in. We COULD change our situation to enable me to be at home...so we did and I now wonder why any mother who is emotionally healthy and does not *have* to work for the family to get by....doesn't stay at home? I am not meaning that disrespectfully or sarcastically as I myself did not make that choice with myt first. I resigned 9 months ago. I am proud to be at home even though I wasn't with my first(which I now regret but didn't think I would!). I am proud to send my husband off to work with hot coffee and a lunch I made that always includes homebaked treats....welcome him home to a clean home and wonderful meal...spend my days teaching my son and playing with him; treasuring it sincerely...and being here for my 14 year old daughter whether she needs me to yell at; or hug and talk...or just to stop her from sitting on the computer all day or getting into mischief.
To give you the tone of the books I will give you a couple of excerpts;
"The issue of "roles" in a marriage and family is often a sensitive one. Stay-at-home moms as well as hardworking primary-breadwinner men are not given much respect from our society-at-large. Feminist educators and activists keep trying to squeeze men and women into niches that may simply not be a good match for their innate qualites...as well as their masculine and feminine drives. It is more in the female nature to nest and nurture. It is more in the male nature to conquer and protect. Frankly, the more we ignore the true, inherent masculine and feminine qualites of people, the farther apart we pull them."
"...feminism has brainwashed women to believe that all men are inconsiderate beasts you can't rely on. Therefore, the threat goes, never give up your independence. This mentality has confsed and frightened women into an avoidance of becoming dependant on their men. To protect themselves, women ferociously parry with their men, while denigrating their own desires to tend the home and raise children. Then they call me all angry and depressed... nd they think it is because of their husbands."
So...what do you think?
*edit to correct a typo
Edited 7/11/2007 7:57 pm ET by hi_kimmie


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Ah, Good Eats...my favorite food
Well according to the internet...
PumpkinAngel
Dj
"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~
"you are best friends with your kids"
I did not say that; it is not my place to be my kids' best friend(if I did type it I did not mean to ....I will have to wade through the zillion posts now ARGH!). I am best friends with my husband.
"I'm curious as to where your children's peers fit into this type of best friend relationship with your children."
We live in a mountain community and almost EVERYONE skis/snowboards etc. It is the lifestyle here which is why we live here. You see the same kids hanging out together at the lake that are together on the ski hill and at the movie every Friday night(which is also the bowling alley LOL). The population here is around 6500(less than the community of the city we moved from), so all the kids know one another and if somebody isn't a skier/water nut/hiker...they become one fast.
"Do they consider you to be their best friend as well or do they have a peer that is a best friend?"
LOL....I am not my daughter's best friend; she has a closeknit group here and another back in the city we moved from that she visits about once every one to two months. That being said we are close and openly discuss such things as sex and alcohol/drugs as she is becoming more aware.
"Do you participate with your children and their peers in their activities or do your children participate in your adult activities"
I don't follow her to the theatre or the pool when she is going there with her friends but sometimes she and a friend will want to go for a ride in the trails and will invite me and or my husband, SIL etc as there are bears(just ran into one the other day actually)...safety in numbers. As for the "adult" activities. Everything that we do regularly are family friendly...all ages. When we skied last winter DS was in a backpack and then a pull behind chariot...and now he is eager to get his own skis.
We do family oriented activities.
Oh, how cute.....you need to get him one of those chef hats (if he doesn't already) for kids from Williams and Sonoma!
PumpkinAngel
Glad I could serve as a reminder!
Congrats!
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Based on the response to the post I quoted, it sounded like you were saying that you were bf with your children.
PumpkinAngel
a half-dozen sahms who exactly fit this description of yours killed their children in the past decade, andrea yates being only the most well known of these.
people with severe emotional issues are very likely to quit or lose their jobs whether they have kids or not. this is a nice effort to put lipstick on a pig, but it isn't all that clever.
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