The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2003
The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands
1731
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 6:29pm

I recently read "The Proper Care & Feeding of Relationships" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger and was surprised to find I agreed with much of what she said in the book...so I returned to the library to borrow "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" and again...I find I agree with most of what she writes. I would have scoffed at the titles alone 12 years ago when I was married, working up the corporate ladder with my 2 year old in dc full time from 11 months on. I thought I had it all.

I ended up divorced and now the 2 year old is 14 and I realized recently how fast she is growing up and that I really missed a lot of time with her and my husband by choice(working).

I am remarried and 3 yrs ago our son was born. I returned to work when he was 10 months and found what I think is the best dayhome I could have...they were amazing and very loving. Our family is very close with them now....I was working(primary breadwinner) and couldn't shake the feeling that I was putting my career ahead of my family when my family is monumentally more important to me than the money I was bringing in. We COULD change our situation to enable me to be at home...so we did and I now wonder why any mother who is emotionally healthy and does not *have* to work for the family to get by....doesn't stay at home? I am not meaning that disrespectfully or sarcastically as I myself did not make that choice with myt first. I resigned 9 months ago. I am proud to be at home even though I wasn't with my first(which I now regret but didn't think I would!). I am proud to send my husband off to work with hot coffee and a lunch I made that always includes homebaked treats....welcome him home to a clean home and wonderful meal...spend my days teaching my son and playing with him; treasuring it sincerely...and being here for my 14 year old daughter whether she needs me to yell at; or hug and talk...or just to stop her from sitting on the computer all day or getting into mischief.

To give you the tone of the books I will give you a couple of excerpts;

"The issue of "roles" in a marriage and family is often a sensitive one. Stay-at-home moms as well as hardworking primary-breadwinner men are not given much respect from our society-at-large. Feminist educators and activists keep trying to squeeze men and women into niches that may simply not be a good match for their innate qualites...as well as their masculine and feminine drives. It is more in the female nature to nest and nurture. It is more in the male nature to conquer and protect. Frankly, the more we ignore the true, inherent masculine and feminine qualites of people, the farther apart we pull them."

"...feminism has brainwashed women to believe that all men are inconsiderate beasts you can't rely on. Therefore, the threat goes, never give up your independence. This mentality has confsed and frightened women into an avoidance of becoming dependant on their men. To protect themselves, women ferociously parry with their men, while denigrating their own desires to tend the home and raise children. Then they call me all angry and depressed... nd they think it is because of their husbands."

So...what do you think?

*edit to correct a typo




Edited 7/11/2007 7:57 pm ET by hi_kimmie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 9:11am
It's meaningless to say he's disabled; he's just a fraud, that's all. I can claim I'm descended from George Washington, and I can probably get others to believe it, but that doesn't make it true.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 9:13am
yeazh, and I can tell my boss I'm puking and collect sick pay for today. That doesn't make me actually sick. Collecting disabilty doesn't make him actually disabled.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 9:14am

No, because he isn't choosing to BE disabled. He is choosing to act disabled and collect disability benefits. Do you truly not see the difference?

No one ever disagreed that he would then received the same benefits. In fact, we all stated that long before you ever did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 9:15am
Are we talking about a real person now? I thought we were talking hypotheticals.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 9:15am

Yeah, I'm sure some people consider me stupid ... But I'm not.

*snort*

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 9:19am
After all, it takes a lot of smarts to really convince them you're stupid...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2001
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 9:44am

"So just so I'm clear on this...you have decided that my posts have stated something I didn't say (because as you are well aware, I never called anyone stupid), yet you are having trouble understanding four words that pumpkinangel DID say?"
How is another debate relative to this one?


How were your comments in the post I replied to relative to...anything?


"Yes, and I politely declined your invitation."
where did you decline before this thread?


I declined in the thread where you told me to email you. Where else would I do that? LOL


"You are under no obligation to read my posts."
exactly. this will be the last post to you as I've been informed to put you on ignore.


ROFL!




Mary



Mom to Kevin 11/4/03



Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.



Ray Romano, actor/comedian

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2001
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 9:48am
n/t

Mary



Mom to Kevin 11/4/03



Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.



Ray Romano, actor/comedian

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 9:54am

Of course, I never stated differently.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 9:55am
he's technically disabled.

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