The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2003
The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands
1731
Wed, 07-11-2007 - 6:29pm

I recently read "The Proper Care & Feeding of Relationships" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger and was surprised to find I agreed with much of what she said in the book...so I returned to the library to borrow "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" and again...I find I agree with most of what she writes. I would have scoffed at the titles alone 12 years ago when I was married, working up the corporate ladder with my 2 year old in dc full time from 11 months on. I thought I had it all.

I ended up divorced and now the 2 year old is 14 and I realized recently how fast she is growing up and that I really missed a lot of time with her and my husband by choice(working).

I am remarried and 3 yrs ago our son was born. I returned to work when he was 10 months and found what I think is the best dayhome I could have...they were amazing and very loving. Our family is very close with them now....I was working(primary breadwinner) and couldn't shake the feeling that I was putting my career ahead of my family when my family is monumentally more important to me than the money I was bringing in. We COULD change our situation to enable me to be at home...so we did and I now wonder why any mother who is emotionally healthy and does not *have* to work for the family to get by....doesn't stay at home? I am not meaning that disrespectfully or sarcastically as I myself did not make that choice with myt first. I resigned 9 months ago. I am proud to be at home even though I wasn't with my first(which I now regret but didn't think I would!). I am proud to send my husband off to work with hot coffee and a lunch I made that always includes homebaked treats....welcome him home to a clean home and wonderful meal...spend my days teaching my son and playing with him; treasuring it sincerely...and being here for my 14 year old daughter whether she needs me to yell at; or hug and talk...or just to stop her from sitting on the computer all day or getting into mischief.

To give you the tone of the books I will give you a couple of excerpts;

"The issue of "roles" in a marriage and family is often a sensitive one. Stay-at-home moms as well as hardworking primary-breadwinner men are not given much respect from our society-at-large. Feminist educators and activists keep trying to squeeze men and women into niches that may simply not be a good match for their innate qualites...as well as their masculine and feminine drives. It is more in the female nature to nest and nurture. It is more in the male nature to conquer and protect. Frankly, the more we ignore the true, inherent masculine and feminine qualites of people, the farther apart we pull them."

"...feminism has brainwashed women to believe that all men are inconsiderate beasts you can't rely on. Therefore, the threat goes, never give up your independence. This mentality has confsed and frightened women into an avoidance of becoming dependant on their men. To protect themselves, women ferociously parry with their men, while denigrating their own desires to tend the home and raise children. Then they call me all angry and depressed... nd they think it is because of their husbands."

So...what do you think?

*edit to correct a typo




Edited 7/11/2007 7:57 pm ET by hi_kimmie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 11:03am
I have never stated I was a medical doctor. In fact, I have said I wasn't. Please site the post where I stated I was a medical doctor. I have said from what I have seen and even said it was my unofficial observation.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 11:05am

Exactly!

But hey...if collecting benefits is the only criteria for being disabled, then my son isn't disabled after all! It's a miracle! ;-)


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 11:06am

"I think you are missing the first step in this process. That would be the injury or medical condition."
Not missing it.

"Yes and what does that process start with? That would be the injury or medical condition."
correct but he chose to pursue disability. Others have suffered the same and chose not to seek disability.

"A direct contradiction to your earlier posts where you stated that you did not know if the injury was self-inflicted."
i really have no idea what you are talking about. the man was injured, I do not know if it was self-inflicted or caused by someone else or caused by machinery, what have you. what difference does that make? he was injured and went the disability route.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 11:06am

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Then they are required to report this accident/incident to their insurance company.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 11:07am
does she have any sort of disability benefits?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 11:08am


The process begins with an injury or a medical condition.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 11:08am

"Direct contradiction to your posts that claim you don't know if the injury was self-inflicted."
it's not a contradiction.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2000
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 11:08am
Technically disabled and actually disabled are completely different animals.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2007
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 11:08am

<>

I think you are missing the word "benefits" in there at the end of both sentences. With those added, i totally agree. But then, none of us ever claimed otherwise. And, FTR, those that are hurt and suffer the same and don't pursue benefits are STILL disabled.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Wed, 07-18-2007 - 11:09am
yes i can. He didn't have to pursue disability but he did.

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