Raising Children

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Raising Children
Wed, 07-16-2008 - 11:19am

I've often heard parents say they will SAH because they didn't have kids for other people to raise them.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2007
Sat, 07-19-2008 - 7:41am
Fantastic post.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-19-2008 - 3:55am
Good post.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 07-19-2008 - 12:45am

I believe it takes a village to truly raise a child. If we all had this perspective for real rather than saying it and not following through we would have villages of happy kids. I worked in daycares before having children of my own and felt sad for the things the parents missed. What I have realized lately is by sharing who our children really are - by letting people see them and spend time with them - my kids grow and it is like giving the other person a gift. We are not and should not be the only resource our children have. I think we need to consider each as a balance kind of thing - it does not have to be all or nothing.

This is part of what IS wrong in our society today - we think people are not doing their job if they are not the only ones "raising" thier children - really? How ridiculous is that whole notion in a country where there are more single mother's than two parent families? (not sure where I heard it but I did) I work in schools now and see lots of high school students whose parents are just done with them - figure once they hit high school their job is done. With good teachers, coaches, mentors and advisors these kids who are left alone do make it through. I think parents really need to really be present for their kids - I know many parents who are so far into their kids lives their children do not have room to just be. That is not raising kids - raising is guiding which can be done from a far, from a wheelchair, from the front seat of a car or in the kitchen. We also need to know when to ask for help and when to know we need support from any place we can get it.


There's a great big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day... there's a great big beautiful tom

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Fri, 07-18-2008 - 5:14pm
Hillary did not coin it. It was around long before her book. Her book even gives the credit elsewhere.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2007
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 11:21am

A wise WOHM put it this way: "It takes a village to raise a child, but I'm the mayor of the village."

Yeah well, that's just, ya know, like, your opinion, man-The Big Lebowski 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2004
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 4:02am

I was in FT day care from when I was three, I remember liking it, but to be honest I don't really remember the individual carers there. I do remember my parents raising me, comforting me, helping me, being there for me. Guess who had the biggest impact on my life?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2000
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 12:13am

Dh and I have raised our 4 children (ok, we are in the process of raising the last one). We have at various times for various lengths of time, hired out those aspects of raising kids that we either didn't have the education to do, have the time to do, or was a better choice.

We hired out medical/dental care, education, hair cuts, and child care (to name some off the top of my head). But we chose those professionals to care for our children, not just for their expertise but also that they meshed with our parenting style.

But no, daycare doesn't raise children and nor does teachers. Parents do.


The truth may be out there but lies are in your head. Terry Pratchett

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Wed, 07-16-2008 - 9:07pm

I'll respond from two different points of view....As a teacher -- NO WAY in heck have I raised all of the children that I had. With almost 20 years of teaching (at 100 or so kids per year), that's 2000(!) kids....Nope.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2008
Wed, 07-16-2008 - 5:08pm

PARENTS raise children.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Wed, 07-16-2008 - 2:27pm
i think dc deserves some credit in that force too.