Regrets of a SAHM

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Regrets of a SAHM
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Wed, 06-19-2013 - 1:49pm

While the mom in the following Huffington Post article was glad she got the chance to be a SAHM mom, now that she is facing an empty nest she is having some regrets about that decision, especially in the area of employment.  She discusses several of them in the article; one being that she felt she lowered her sights and lost her confidence:

But far and away my biggest regret about my years at home was that I lowered my sights for myself as I dimmed in my own mind what I thought I was capable of. I let go of the burning ambition I once held because I didn't feel as though I could hold it and three babies at the same time. My husband did not do this, my children did not do this, I did this. In the years that I was home, I lulled myself into thinking that I was accomplishing enough because I was. I was raising my children and as any parent who had spent a day with a child knows, that can fill all of the hours in a day. What I hadn't realized was how my constant focus on my family would result in my aspirations for myself slipping away. And despite it being obvious, I did not focus on the inevitable obsolescence that my job as mom held.

If you are a SAHM mom, can you relate to that feeling of losing yourself?  How do you give yourself the same focus on your own identity and accomplishments while focusing on raising a family?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:39pm

Oh dear.  Let me see if I can help answer your questions. Oh wait...I already did.  And in the post you quoted above.  Hang on....I'll subtly enhance it for you.  There.

Getting sick?  Yes, that would be an emergency that would be an acceptable reason to leave the entire office in a lurch. Winning a cruise?  Yeah, not so much.

And where did I say I gave NO notice or ONE day's notice?

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:40pm

Long period of voluntary leave with one day's notice would be unacceptable anywhere I've worked.   Involuntary? Like for sickness, death, injury, etc ... acceptable.  But to do so willingly indicates, imo, lack of dedication to the job, a poor work ethic, and a lack of respect to one's coworkers.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:41pm
"Not relevant now? Before it was very relevant when I had to do it." It's not about how long it would take pka to plan...you said that you didn't plan at all. "Nah, easy planning again." So now it's easy planning, not *no planning*?

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:42pm

Long period of voluntary leave with one day's notice would be unacceptable anywhere I've worked.   Involuntary? Like for sickness, death, injury, etc ... acceptable.  But to do so willingly indicates, imo, lack of dedication to the job, a poor work ethic, and a lack of respect to one's coworkers.

Glad I don't work at your job then and a more flexible, family oriented job. 

Again, where did I ever say I left no notice or one day's notice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:43pm

"Not relevant now? Before it was very relevant when I had to do it." It's not about how long it would take pka to plan...you said that you didn't plan at all. "Nah, easy planning again." So now it's easy planning, not *no planning*?

Yeah when I asked her how long it would take HER, she would not answer. I gave my answer. IMO it doesn't take much to grab a few peices of paperwork, do it all the time for things needed. No big deal. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:45pm
"(again I never said that I gave no notice)? Actually you did, by saying that you didn't plan at all. If that's not what you meant, then perhaps you might consider choosing your words more carefully.

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:45pm
Yeah, taking a vacation in the middle of the semester might even get a tenured faculty member fired. And that's pretty hard to do!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:46pm

(again I never said that I gave no notice)? Actually you did, by saying that you didn't plan at all. If that's not what you meant, then perhaps you might consider choosing your words more carefully.

Did I say I gave no notice or one day's notice? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:47pm

Yeah, taking a vacation in the middle of the semester might even get a tenured faculty member fired. And that's pretty hard to do!

I am not a teacher and not a tenured faculty member. Shrug.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:47pm
"Yeah when I asked her how long it would take HER, she would not answer. I gave my answer." Of course she didn't. It's irrelevant. Are you chaning your answer from "no planning" to *easy planning*?

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Ducky

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