Regrets of a SAHM

Avatar for Cmmelissa
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Registered: 11-13-2008
Regrets of a SAHM
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Wed, 06-19-2013 - 1:49pm

While the mom in the following Huffington Post article was glad she got the chance to be a SAHM mom, now that she is facing an empty nest she is having some regrets about that decision, especially in the area of employment.  She discusses several of them in the article; one being that she felt she lowered her sights and lost her confidence:

But far and away my biggest regret about my years at home was that I lowered my sights for myself as I dimmed in my own mind what I thought I was capable of. I let go of the burning ambition I once held because I didn't feel as though I could hold it and three babies at the same time. My husband did not do this, my children did not do this, I did this. In the years that I was home, I lulled myself into thinking that I was accomplishing enough because I was. I was raising my children and as any parent who had spent a day with a child knows, that can fill all of the hours in a day. What I hadn't realized was how my constant focus on my family would result in my aspirations for myself slipping away. And despite it being obvious, I did not focus on the inevitable obsolescence that my job as mom held.

If you are a SAHM mom, can you relate to that feeling of losing yourself?  How do you give yourself the same focus on your own identity and accomplishments while focusing on raising a family?

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Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:48pm

Yes, yes, you did.

 

"And yes, I can easily tell my boss I am going away for a week with one day's notice as well as my dh could at that time and now."

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:48pm

"Yeah when I asked her how long it would take HER, she would not answer. I gave my answer." Of course she didn't. It's irrelevant. Are you chaning your answer from "no planning" to *easy planning*?

Did I say that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:49pm
You said that you didn't plan at all.... now you're back peddaling.

*********

Ducky

Avatar for savcal2011
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Registered: 10-06-2010
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:49pm

springfever2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">Long period of voluntary leave with one day's notice would be unacceptable anywhere I've worked.   Involuntary? Like for sickness, death, injury, etc ... acceptable.  But to do so willingly indicates, imo, lack of dedication to the job, a poor work ethic, and a lack of respect to one's coworkers.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Glad I don't work at your job then and a more flexible, family oriented job. </span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Again, where did I ever say I left no notice or one day's notice?</span></strong></p>

My job is family friendly and flexible.  But not when I'm inconsiderate enough to leave for a week with one day's notice.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:50pm

Yes, yes, you did.

 "And yes, I can easily tell my boss I am going away for a week with one day's notice as well as my dh could at that time and now."

And? Did I say I DID? I said I COULD. Please read what I am posting, not the story in your head of what you THINK I am posting. Did I say I left no notice or one day's notice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:51pm

You said that you didn't plan at all.... now you're back peddaling.

Nope, not backpedaling.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 7:51pm

My job is family friendly and flexible.  But not when I'm inconsiderate enough to leave for a week with one day's notice.

And did I say I DID do that? I said I COULD. I never said I DID.

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 8:01pm

springfever2013 wrote:
And? Did I say I DID? I said I COULD. Please read what I am posting, not the story in your head of what you THINK I am posting. Did I say I left no notice or one day's notice?</span></strong></p>

Whether you did or not is irrelevant.  My post still stands -- Long period of voluntary leave with one day's notice would be unacceptable anywhere I've worked.   Involuntary? Like for sickness, death, injury, etc ... acceptable.  But to do so willingly indicates, imo, lack of dedication to the job, a poor work ethic, and a lack of respect to one's coworkers.

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 8:06pm

Whether you did or not is irrelevant. 

That is hilarious as NOW it is not irrelevant. Maybe because I did NOT say I left no notice or one day's notice. Laughing

My post still stands -- Long period of voluntary leave with one day's notice would be unacceptable anywhere I've worked.

And? That is YOUR job, not mine.

Involuntary? Like for sickness, death, injury, etc ... acceptable.  But to do so willingly indicates, imo, lack of dedication to the job, a poor work ethic, and a lack of respect to one's coworkers.

How sad when someone can't celebrate something fun and exciting like a vacation that was won by a co-worker but make them feel like they lack dedication to the job, a poor work ethic and a lack of respect to one's coworkers. Sounds like it would be jealousy towards that other person and I am SOOOOO glad that my coworkers were TOTALLY opposite of that and were VERY excited for us. My boss WOULD have let me leave THAT day if needed as she was THRILLED. You can't expect everyone to always be at a job. Things happen and every boss should be prepared for that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 8:16pm
If I walked out of a class for a week in the middle of the semester, the taxpayers of Missouri would be really upset, and with cause. People don't pay their teachers to go off on pleasure trips in the middle of the class.

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