Regrets of a SAHM

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Registered: 11-13-2008
Regrets of a SAHM
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Wed, 06-19-2013 - 1:49pm

While the mom in the following Huffington Post article was glad she got the chance to be a SAHM mom, now that she is facing an empty nest she is having some regrets about that decision, especially in the area of employment.  She discusses several of them in the article; one being that she felt she lowered her sights and lost her confidence:

But far and away my biggest regret about my years at home was that I lowered my sights for myself as I dimmed in my own mind what I thought I was capable of. I let go of the burning ambition I once held because I didn't feel as though I could hold it and three babies at the same time. My husband did not do this, my children did not do this, I did this. In the years that I was home, I lulled myself into thinking that I was accomplishing enough because I was. I was raising my children and as any parent who had spent a day with a child knows, that can fill all of the hours in a day. What I hadn't realized was how my constant focus on my family would result in my aspirations for myself slipping away. And despite it being obvious, I did not focus on the inevitable obsolescence that my job as mom held.

If you are a SAHM mom, can you relate to that feeling of losing yourself?  How do you give yourself the same focus on your own identity and accomplishments while focusing on raising a family?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:58pm

People in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks.  Stalking isn't right either, No. 

At least WE don't have to worry about Paola Wink

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:56pm

And you take screen shots, I assume? You don't consider that stalking and being obsessed with someone you really don't know? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:52pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
<p><blockquote class="quote-msg quote-nest-1 odd"><div class="quote-author"><em class="placeholder">springfever2013</em> wrote:</div>&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;The entrapments here speak volumes... Now I know, You watch Springer! Lol!&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"&gt;Hmmm....what about Paola though? and I wonder if certain people take screen shots too in their endeavor to stalk. lol&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</blockquote></p><p>People in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks.  Stalking isn't right either, No. </p>

Good thing I live in a brick house and am not married to someone who pled guilty to larceny (or any other crime, for that matter)! Guess that means I can throw all the rocks I want! :)

On Wednesdays we wear pink.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:43pm

It's okay spring...I get it, you don't want to answer and showed that you lied again.  You're funny.  I know you will respond to this one...

How did I lie? I asked a question. Waiting for your answer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:41pm

<<Plan how?>>

When I leave my kids in the care of others while I am out of town, I provide the caregiver basic medical information and a poa to provide er care in my absence.  I also leave copies of the insurance card and a copy of their schedule along with er contacts.  Depending on where/how long I might provide other information.  Regardless, I wouldn't leave my kids for a week without some basic planning.  Depending on the ages of the kids, they might require some planning, 

How long would that take you to do?

I wouldn't just up and leave my kids without good byes and etc. 

Who said they wouldn't and didn't say good bye either? lol

<<No need to have someone involved on a day to day basis for them to know what you do. >>

Again, I don't depend on my family for day to day care of my children and never have.  

Neither do I

You used family for the day to day care of your children?  I thought you used a daycare?  Your family was involved every day?

What do you mean by involved in daycare?


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:40pm

springfever2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">You said you didn't plan anything...your family did.  Are you changing your mind about no planning on any of this trip?</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Planning what?</span></strong></p>

It's okay spring...I get it, you don't want to answer and showed that you lied again.  You're funny.  I know you will respond to this one...

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:39pm

springfever2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I don't recall you talking about the latest trip.  How are you having our kids cared for when you wouldn't ask anyone to care for your kids for a night or weekend away? </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Never found the need for an overnight or weekend date</span></strong></p>

I get it, you don't want to answer and show the lies again.  It's okay.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:38pm

<<Plan how?>>

When I leave my kids in the care of others while I am out of town, I provide the caregiver basic medical information and a poa to provide er care in my absence.  I also leave copies of the insurance card and a copy of their schedule along with er contacts.  Depending on where/how long I might provide other information.  Regardless, I wouldn't leave my kids for a week without some basic planning.  Depending on the ages of the kids, they might require some planning, I wouldn't just up and leave my kids without good byes and etc. 

<<No need to have someone involved on a day to day basis for them to know what you do. >>

Again, I don't depend on my family for day to day care of my children and never have.  You used family for the day to day care of your children?  I thought you used a daycare?  Your family was involved every day?


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:34pm

You said you didn't plan anything...your family did.  Are you changing your mind about no planning on any of this trip?

Planning what?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:34pm

springfever2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">The entrapments here speak volumes... Now I know, You watch Springer! Lol!</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Hmmm....what about Paola though? and I wonder if certain people take screen shots too in their endeavor to stalk. lol</span></strong></p>

Did you?

PumpkinAngel

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