Regrets of a SAHM

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Regrets of a SAHM
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Wed, 06-19-2013 - 1:49pm

While the mom in the following Huffington Post article was glad she got the chance to be a SAHM mom, now that she is facing an empty nest she is having some regrets about that decision, especially in the area of employment.  She discusses several of them in the article; one being that she felt she lowered her sights and lost her confidence:

But far and away my biggest regret about my years at home was that I lowered my sights for myself as I dimmed in my own mind what I thought I was capable of. I let go of the burning ambition I once held because I didn't feel as though I could hold it and three babies at the same time. My husband did not do this, my children did not do this, I did this. In the years that I was home, I lulled myself into thinking that I was accomplishing enough because I was. I was raising my children and as any parent who had spent a day with a child knows, that can fill all of the hours in a day. What I hadn't realized was how my constant focus on my family would result in my aspirations for myself slipping away. And despite it being obvious, I did not focus on the inevitable obsolescence that my job as mom held.

If you are a SAHM mom, can you relate to that feeling of losing yourself?  How do you give yourself the same focus on your own identity and accomplishments while focusing on raising a family?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:33pm

I don't recall you talking about the latest trip.  How are you having our kids cared for when you wouldn't ask anyone to care for your kids for a night or weekend away? 

Never found the need for an overnight or weekend date

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:31pm

<<No, not really. How hard do those things take and when the person already knows your kids schedule, what is the problem?>>

I guess I just do things differently than you do, I wouldn't just leave my kids and expect famiy to care for them while I was on vacation.  I would plan, you didn't plan...you just expected family to care for your kids.  

Plan how?

<<Umm...yeah, just like every other contest. It wasn't planned though. Didn't go to search out the contest.>>

Yes,  of course...it was a surprise that there was an entry in your name.

No, I didn't go to where I did to enter just to enter

<<Not too difficult when the people taking care of your kids know all about your kids and schedules and such already. Shrug.>>

Well, dh and I are the primary people taking care of our kids, we don't routinely have family involved on a day to day basis, so they wouldn't know the day to day schedules without planning.  I don't leave my kids without planning their care, I get that you do.  That is not something that I would do.

No need to have someone involved on a day to day basis for them to know what you do. 


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:31pm

jamblessedthree wrote:
The entrapments here speak volumes... Now I know, You watch Springer! Lol!

We lured someone into lying?  Only on this board, lol...only on this board.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:30pm

springfever2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Well then it's a good thing that your family planned to cover your responsibilites when you didn't.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">How so? Please explain how I didn't cover my responsibilities lol.</span></strong></p>

You said you didn't plan anything...your family did.  Are you changing your mind about no planning on any of this trip?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:29pm

springfever2013 wrote:
<p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">Of course and on this next trip....the same will occur correct?  You know since you claimed that you wouldn't ask anyone to care for your children while you were away for night or weekend.  Is this cruise going to be a "surprise" too?</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left">I can't wait to hear the double standard answer for this one....</p><p style="font-size:13px; text-align:left"><strong>I already explained this a few times. </strong></p>
\

I don't recall you talking about the latest trip.  How are you having our kids cared for when you wouldn't ask anyone to care for your kids for a night or weekend away?  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:28pm

<<No, not really. How hard do those things take and when the person already knows your kids schedule, what is the problem?>>

I guess I just do things differently than you do, I wouldn't just leave my kids and expect famiy to care for them while I was on vacation.  I would plan, you didn't plan...you just expected family to care for your kids.  

<<Umm...yeah, just like every other contest. It wasn't planned though. Didn't go to search out the contest.>>

Yes,  of course...it was a surprise that there was an entry in your name.

<<Not too difficult when the people taking care of your kids know all about your kids and schedules and such already. Shrug.>>

Well, dh and I are the primary people taking care of our kids, we don't routinely have family involved on a day to day basis, so they wouldn't know the day to day schedules without planning.  I don't leave my kids without planning their care, I get that you do.  That is not something that I would do.


PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:28pm

"Only for some people it is ok, I guess."

Can you rewrite this into an itelligible sentence?

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:26pm

"People in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks."

Well yes, this is true Jambles.  Very true.

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Ducky

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:24pm

People in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks.  Stalking isn't right either, No. 

Only for some people it is ok, I guess.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 4:24pm
"Hmmm....what about Paola though?" What the hell are you talking about?

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Ducky

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