Regrets of a SAHM

Avatar for Cmmelissa
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Regrets of a SAHM
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Wed, 06-19-2013 - 1:49pm

While the mom in the following Huffington Post article was glad she got the chance to be a SAHM mom, now that she is facing an empty nest she is having some regrets about that decision, especially in the area of employment.  She discusses several of them in the article; one being that she felt she lowered her sights and lost her confidence:

But far and away my biggest regret about my years at home was that I lowered my sights for myself as I dimmed in my own mind what I thought I was capable of. I let go of the burning ambition I once held because I didn't feel as though I could hold it and three babies at the same time. My husband did not do this, my children did not do this, I did this. In the years that I was home, I lulled myself into thinking that I was accomplishing enough because I was. I was raising my children and as any parent who had spent a day with a child knows, that can fill all of the hours in a day. What I hadn't realized was how my constant focus on my family would result in my aspirations for myself slipping away. And despite it being obvious, I did not focus on the inevitable obsolescence that my job as mom held.

If you are a SAHM mom, can you relate to that feeling of losing yourself?  How do you give yourself the same focus on your own identity and accomplishments while focusing on raising a family?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 9:33pm

springfever2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">I believe it, my boss was just gone for two weeks but there was advance notice so we could plan.  </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:x-small"><span>That's great. She gave us the info we needed to do her job the day before. Shrug.</span></span></strong></p>

That wouldn't work in our area, but I know the boss gave that type of notice to others and some didn't even know that the boss was gone.  It all depends on how much interaction and the job involved.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 9:31pm

springfever2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">Oh no, I read correctly you just outright lied and it's interesting watching you try and spin your way out of your lies.  </span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Nope, no lies. </span></strong></p>

Whatever makes you feel better spring....

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 9:30pm

Pray tell .. did she give you and the rest of her staff ample notice?

She told us about the trip but we got the info the day before. We all just do what we need to when someone is out. We work as a team. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 9:30pm

<<h no, it's only relevant for those who plan before leaving their children for the week, you said you didn't plan so how long my planning takes is not really relevant for someone who claims they didn't plan.

So you never have left your children to go away with your dh for a week?>>

That's what you got out of that post?  Clearly you need to read it again, lol...oh boy.   Have you not read about the planning I have done to leave my children for a week?  Have you not read my shock at your not planning when you left your children for a week?   Oh my, spring...yes, I have left my children and I did all the planning that I have detailed out for you and probably more.

<<Nope, didn't say that.>>

You said there wasn't any planning, now you are changing your mind again?

<<What type of planning? How long would it take you?>>

The same planning I told you about a few posts ago, see this is why I don't believe you when you said you remember something I said...you can't remember in the same thread, lol.

So again, why is it easy planning now when just awhile ago you claimed there wasn't any PLANNING!  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 9:29pm

I believe it, my boss was just gone for two weeks but there was advance notice so we could plan.  

That's great. She gave us the info we needed to do her job the day before. Shrug.

Avatar for savcal2011
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2010
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 9:29pm

springfever2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">I get it.  And favors done become favors returned too,  I hope that conference call you sat in for your boss for last week went well.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Exactly. Thanks. I actually am on the call for the 8 days she is vacationing in Italy. We are ALL helping out with her work while she is gone. Can you believe that a Sr. Manager could actually take over a week off and the place is not falling apart? lol. </span></strong></p>

Pray tell .. did she give you and the rest of her staff ample notice?

 

"I don’t mind a banshee, that’s fine. 2 banshees? I HATE you. I actually wish bad things upon you." -- Day[9] Daily #459 P1

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 9:27pm

<<Got'cha.  I don't see less importance there, I see relationship difference with your employer.  Nice. >>

So your dh could easily leave on a vacation without planning with work?  Yep, telling the boss, just like I did.

Just leave on a day's notice and be gone for a week and if he couldn't leave like that then there is a relationship difference with his employer?

When did I say we EVER did that?

It's not about how important his job is or isn't, all about his relationship with the employer? 

We have GREAT relationships with our employers and are truly blessed that we don't have to worry about things like last minute plans. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 9:25pm

springfever2013 wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">I get it.  And favors done become favors returned too,  I hope that conference call you sat in for your boss for last week went well.</span></p><p><strong><span style="font-size:13px">Exactly. Thanks. I actually am on the call for the 8 days she is vacationing in Italy. We are ALL helping out with her work while she is gone. Can you believe that a Sr. Manager could actually take over a week off and the place is not falling apart? lol. </span></strong></p>

I believe it, my boss was just gone for two weeks but there was advance notice so we could plan.  

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 9:24pm

Psst spring, giving notice is planning. You said you didn't plan a thing for this trip, not childcare, not work, not shopping...nothing, it was all magical.  :)

Nope, I NEVER said that I didn't give notice nor was it "magical". These were everyone else's words. Your idea of planning is much different than mine. Childcare-tell the teacher child will not be in class, Work-tell boss you will not be in work, shopping? not sure what this means, again as I mentioned this before.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2013
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 9:22pm

Oh no, I read correctly you just outright lied and it's interesting watching you try and spin your way out of your lies.  

Nope, no lies. 

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