Rock and a Hard Place

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Rock and a Hard Place
1524
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 10:45am

There's something on this board that has been bothering me, and I hope I can articulate it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 11:28am
Most K teacher, particulary those who have been teaching for 20 years, would know that children come to K in all shapes and sizes. Some don't recognize letters and some read. Teachers expect that. To assume that children who don't recognize letters have not been read to is a huge leap. A logical answer to your question would be that not all children are ready to learn at the exact same time. As I have pointed out, I have a 5 y/o who reads easily and a 4 y/o who doesn't recognize letters of the alphabet. They have had the same experience with exposure to books and being read to. Dd may not recognize letters when she starts K. It has no bearing on my lifestyle choices or my parenting. It has everything to do with her individual personality and interests.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 11:32am
Sounds like your DD's teacher is at least as biased against SAH as you are. I can't see her saying that "half" the class hasn't been read to as anything other than a gross exaggeration. I'd also think it's likely that there are quite a number of kids of SAHs in your DD's class that have been read to more than the some of the DC kids (as if she had any way of really knowing), but then, your DD's teacher wouldn't have had the eager audience she had in telling you that, that she did in telling you something which confirmed your existing bias.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 11:35am
You ought to be careful with your stereotyping and your expectations. I have had lots of experience with brighter than average children, both personally and professionally, and not all find it necessary to dummy down. IMO, those who are compared and contrasted against their peers and siblings have a need to dummy down, but those who are accepted and treated as equal to do not. Especially at the age of 5! Five year olds tend to have so many other things in common that who can read or not is usually completely irrlevent. When you indicated that your dc moved your dd up to an older group b/c she had nothing in common with her age mates, my first thought was your poor kid. Idiots at dc and an idiot for a K teacher and a parent who thinks it's all good. Go back and talk to that psychiatrist a bit more, you'll learn you are doing EVERYTHING wrong.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 11:39am
No, it's not just what she said. It is the way that, according to you, she treats children in her classroom. I could give a rat's patooey if she kept her silly stats and shared them with you - given that your child is so far ahead of the pack. The fact that she uses a 5 y/o as a teacher's aide, that she singles the bright child out, that a 5 y/o feels a need to dummy down are some of the things that PROVE she is a lousy teacher. The gossiping shows she is a lousy person and very unprofessional, but clearly in your neighbourhood that is ok. It is has already been established that you live in a VERY weird place.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 11:47am
And I think that is fine, if it is done appropriately. Were you the ONLY child reading to other children? If so, that would single you out. My ds helps out in the classroom too, but he is not singled out. I think that if at 5, a child knows that her teacher expects more from her, that is a problem. A good teacher can help a very bright kid fit in. In first grade you probably weren't the only child who COULD read. I would assume that the teacher had other children read as well so that it would not be so noticeable that she expected more from you. My dd1, when in Grade 2, used to go read to the K kids. Again, THAT is different than demonstrating the vast disparity within the classroom. Particularly if you have a bright child, who at 5 y/o, dummies down to fit in with her peers.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 11:49am
Silly silly arguments. Why do they have to keep pace? Are all the teachers in your school division so dim that they need to graph where the children are at to determine if THEY are being challenged enough?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 11:55am
Yes, manners are taught and one child may *learn* and *demonstrate* what they have learned while another may not. Individual differences DO make a difference in how well children behave or listen. Trust me, it is true. Ds could not handle a dining out experience until he was darned near 4. Even then, we knew we could have some problems. Dd could always sit still. We could take her and bring along a couple of books, crayons and she'd be fine for a couple of hours - even as a toddler. Ds was/is a very high spirited impulsive child, while dd is much more of an observer. She appears to be the one who listens and behaves, but reality is he is not as capable as she is of behaving.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 11:58am
ALL of her arguments are full of contradictions. The teachers and even the psychiatrist she is working with also contradict themselves and common sense. Odd isn't it? LOL
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 12:06pm
I, personally, am having a very hard time wrapping my head around this whole thing. I don't get how both parents and teachers would require a chart to show how far ahead a child is. A child that far ahead, ime, stands out like a sore thumb. Also, ime, a child that far ahead keeps pushing themselves to learn more regardless of what is going on the in the classroom. They can't help but learn and couldn't dummy themselves down if they tried (ok, granted they could pretend not to know things in class, but they'll keep on learning on their own regardless of what their peers are learning and they can't actually slow down that learning pace to match their peers).

I also don't get why someone who has obviously done the research on the benefits of dc for many many years would need any word of reassurance from a teacher that dc hasn't harmed her child. Any teacher who would tell me that I haven't harmed my children by putting them in dc would make me wonder just what planet they were on that they felt the need to reassure me about this....as would any teacher telling me that SAH didn't harm my children.

Laura

Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 1:26pm
But if we use your reasoning, "Children learn to read when they learn" doesn't this mean the rest of the children in your DD's class merely have to catch up to her? I don't know what grade she's in, but presumably, to use your own argument, those in her class will have caught up to her by 4th grade.

So presumably (using that non-math gene I have), if A equals B and B equals C; therefore A equals C, those children are "bright" too.

I've run enough races to know that starting off at the back of the pack means NOTHING to how you finish the race.

outside_the_box_mom

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