Rock and a Hard Place

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Rock and a Hard Place
1524
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 10:45am

There's something on this board that has been bothering me, and I hope I can articulate it.

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Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 1:27pm
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Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 1:48pm
But that is not a generalization you can use anywhere. In NH, half the kids in FIRST GRADE don't know their letters because Kindergarten is NOT mandated by the state. Hence, half the children don't get it. Nor do they get preschool. Because parents have to PAY for it. And many parents, especially the working poor, can't afford it.

It's a big deal right now and the local papers are full of articles chronicling the bitter fighting going on. Everyone says "yes, children need Kindergarten" but no one wants to pay for it.

What happens is that children arrive in first grade. Some can read, do simple math, etc because they were in private school kindergarten. Others can't even sit at a table on focus on a worksheet. So it takes a first grade teacher until late November to get all the children in the class on the same page.

It has absolutely nothing to do with how "smart" a child is or whether or not parents work. It has everything to do with how dedicated parents are to their children's education (and that has nothing to do with financial status, either). I was at our last back to school night. Half the parents didn't show up. Why? Who knows.

But you can be a SAHM and have your child ready for first grade doing it yourself or you can be dirt poor and have to place your child with an unlicensed sitter who sits around all day watching soap operas and smoking while you work shoveling fries into "Biggie" fry containers for $5.50 an hour.

Like I said, it has nothing to do with a parent's work status. And I'm suprised that you of all people need justification for a choice you have clearly stated over and over is the "best" one for you and your DDs.

outside_the_box_mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 2:18pm
ITA. The whole thing is complete nonsense. There is no need for such comparison charts and educators who are worth anything know not to compare children to each other. The cutting edge educators motivate children and help to develop an interest in learning. 5 y/o's are rarely a challenge in that area b/c they are sponges eager to soak it all up. Teachers know early on who is where in their ability and knowledge. Using such a chart is of little use in determining strengths and weaknesses. I would not want my child in a K class where the teacher was so focussed on gathering stupid statistics. Furthermore, a teacher making comments on behalf of or against dc is a complete fool.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 3:24pm
Yup, it was just me. And you missed the point. It wasn't that the teacher "expected more" of me; it was just a way to keep me from being bored and disrupting the class.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 3:26pm
I understood your point, but was making another.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 3:30pm

No, I don't need to turn and look at another child in order to understand my child.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 3:47pm

Exactly how did she know who was a daycare kid and who had a sahm?

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 3:57pm

Well about manners I will have to agree with you.


I don't know how many times I have explained to my boys that no they can't do what x child is doing..we don't do that...and when asked why they were allowed to do whatever...well I'm not their mommy I'm your mommy and we don't act like that.


My kids at their age (7&5) have done more things and been more places than I ever did by the age of 21.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 4:09pm

Maybe if you spent less time having your child evaluated by psychiatrists and charted by her teachers and let her be a 5 year old kid she might just surprise you.


Really evaluated by a psychiatrist by age 5?....unless something traumatic happened, and my sympathy if it did...otherwise why?

PumpkinAngel

Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-30-2003 - 4:14pm
Sometimes I wonder what all these "levels" really mean. In NH, academic standards haven't been revised since 1971. What is a true "high school level" math ability? How about science? Reading?

Since I have to write to an 8th grade reading ability -- or else no one will understand it -- I am not sure what it means to have a high-school or college level reading ability. If one has it, it can't mean much anymore.

(And this is not to downplay your DD's achievement. I just get my knickers in a twist over standardized testing, educational standards, etc and then having people throw them around as if they actually mean something. I always want to say, "Compared to what?" The reason I like our school is because the children are encouraged to learn at their own pace and they learn whole skills and concepts. So my DS, for example, is working out of the "second grade" speller because he's grasped certain reading/word concepts but he's still in "first grade" math.)

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