Rock and a Hard Place

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Rock and a Hard Place
1524
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 10:45am

There's something on this board that has been bothering me, and I hope I can articulate it.

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Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 11-23-2003 - 5:00pm
Your data (and therefore you because you believe in it) claims that WOHMs incomes impacts their family's SES. You also say that a high SES makes for better children, thereby being a benefit to ALL children of WOHMs. Am I getting this right? A benefit of a mom working is high SES which is proven to be better for children than a low SES.

So you believe that working is ALWAYS a better choice because there's a proven benefit for everyone. This must be true because that's exactly what we're debating here. You see no general benefit to the children of SAHMs, but this higher SES that is given to ALL moms just because they have a job is the proven benefit of working. Right??

You still haven't responded to those families whose mom's income WOULDN'T raise her family's SES. And what about families where the SES is ALREADY high and mom going to work wouldn't raise it (or might, but it's not necessary because it's so high already.)

I'd also like to know what children with a high SES get as opposed to children of low SES. What, exactly, might be the difference. I'd like to know where my family stands.

Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 11-23-2003 - 5:17pm
Exactly!! Mom working does not benefit EVERY family. That's the whole point here for cripe's sake. Just as there's no general benefit to SAH, there's no general benefit to mom WOH. That's what were debating here.

And I didn't say my SAHM friends were "unable" to impact their family's SES. I said their income wasn't needed because it was already high.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2003
Sun, 11-23-2003 - 5:40pm
Why not? College and retirement are secure, as a teacher I will make more than enough to live off of in combination with dh's income and benefits are really the most pressing need for us as dh and I age (teachers have great benefits). Nothing really changes with the pay cut because we've been aggressively saving towards retirement other than the amount we save towards retirement. We just go from putting 40% of our income into savings to living off of what we bring home. What changes because of this change is when I can retire not my family's SES.

Besides it is security for my family that has lead to this change. Engineering is no longer a profession you can count on a 30 year career in anymore. By 50 companies are, aggressivaly, trying to downsize you out. I'm making the change into teaching only a few years before that mark. Far better to move into teaching on my own at 47 than to be downsized out as an engineer at 52 with nowhere to go. I watched many people downsized out and the ones who did well had something totally different to fall back on. My something different is going into teaching. They say people today can count on three different careers. Teaching will be number 3 for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2003
Sun, 11-23-2003 - 5:41pm
In general you can. In general, higher SES is linked to better results. That is not a debatable point.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2003
Sun, 11-23-2003 - 5:42pm
And what percentage of the population are up there? Sorry but an example of a spoiled rotten rich kid does not negate that, in general, increasing SES is linked with positive results.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2003
Sun, 11-23-2003 - 5:42pm
Think what you want but it is entirely possible.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2003
Sun, 11-23-2003 - 5:44pm
I have no idea what they do to fill their time. Why I'm being asked about nannies when I have never aspired to be one is beyond me. They do what they do. Obviously, they do something to fill their time. When I used to babysit I'd do my homework while there to keep busy. Not to long ago someone posted about a nanny running her errands while watching their kids. I'm sure nannies fill their time to the extent they want to fill it. I've never been drawn to the profession because I don't think it would keep me busy enough. SAH with two kids didn't. Now give me 6 classes of 20 kids each and that's another story. I'm sure I'll keep busy as a teacher.


Edited 11/23/2003 5:46:42 PM ET by cyndiluwhoagain
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-23-2003 - 5:47pm
Why do you keep changing your screen name?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2003
Sun, 11-23-2003 - 5:50pm
Not our dcp. She has 6 kids at a time, she has her hands full. What people with less to do do to fill the time is really their business. I'm not going to invent things to do when I have the option of going out and doing something constructive with my excess time and I had plenty of excess time as a SAHM. I had everything that needed to be done for the day done by noon and found the afternoons to be quite boring. As to nannies, a lot depends on their responsiblities. If they're just to watch one or two kids, I'm sure they have lots of time to kill. Some people like life that way. Not me. I like to keep half a dozen irons in the fire at all times.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2003
Sun, 11-23-2003 - 7:58pm
Because PP keeps blocking my ID's. I have no idea why but they banned my original ID a couple of months back. They're now blocking my alters too. They won't answer as to why they blocked my original ID. They replied to my request to be told why with a note saying they were looking into it with no further reply and later granted my request that they remove my personal information from the id they blocked but that's about it.

About every other day, I find my ID doesn't work and have to make a new one, which is getting old. It's probably time to just give up and go away like they want me to.

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