Rock and a Hard Place

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Rock and a Hard Place
1524
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 10:45am

There's something on this board that has been bothering me, and I hope I can articulate it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 8:47am

"This is the much touting "evening out" phenomenon. A child who doesn't learn to read until 7 will not always be two years behind a child who learned to read when she was 5. It is much more likely that the 7 yo will "catch up" to the five yo. "


So - wouldn't you want to know how well your child is reading at age 5 as well as age 7?

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Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 9:13am
Yep. I totally agree with you. As I've said over and over, raising children isn't rocket science. Neither is figuring out how a computer works -- or for that matter, a car engine. All three are very analytical. And to think I do it all without a "guy" math gene.

outside_the_box_mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 9:20am
Sure you can.

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The problem is not with the one who is delivering the message, but with the recipient of the message. The recipient is insiting on interpreting every single statement ever made in the world - in terms of individual circumstance. The recipient has no concept of anything general, can only interpret meaning in the specific. For this individual, if there is one inidvidual in the world who smokes yet does not suffer any health problems, it is impossible to make a statement such as "smoking is bad for ones health". So be it. I have no idea why such individuals bother with a debate board, actually. They aren't capable of considering anything in terms of the general, and further more, have no ability to grasp the concept of, and understand the significance of the, the idea of "exception". To such individuals, there can be no rule if there is the possiblity of any exception existing. They do not even grasp the concept of the rule.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 9:28am
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It doesn't matter. Unless you are telling us that your higher SES means no more to your family than that you are experiencing higher house payments, fancier cars and more keeping up with the Joneses than you experienced when you were at lower SES - you have nothing to say. According to your own rules - did you just tell us you have gone and blown all the value of the "E" in SES in this way? Because any general, non personal observation, is of course, not allowed. By YOUR rules.

But if you'd like to have the right to argue in terms of "I see it all the time" then surely you don't mean to imly that what you see with your limited range and ability to "see" provides a more definite answer then that provided by numerous historical and ongoing studies which have the emmensely improved abilty to "see" so much more of what is out there to be seen? And to analyze the results of what is "seen". Accross a much greater cross section of reality than is provided by your own experience?

Avatar for outside_the_box_mom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 9:34am
I have to disagree with you. This is one reason why I find the "debate" so infuriating at times. It's always presented as an "either/or" or b&w issue.

I am a woman. I am verbal, if that is what you want to call it. I prefer to express myself in writing -- and do quite well at it. However, the reason I am successful at what I do (writing for people like you in corporations) is precisely because I am analytical. Yet I don't have a "guy math gene."

I used to fix my own VW Beetle. I've dropped the engine and replaced the heads. I did my own tune-ups. I used to be able to tell just by the way the engine sounded if I had tightened the values too much or too little. Same way with my computer. If I have any sort of problem, I will analyze what the problem could be and then fix it.

SAH has nothing to do with one being a "kid person." I have never been challenged by staying at home. I SAH/WAH for two reasons: I wanted more time with my son and I didn't want him in daycare fulltime.

Indeed, I *don't* consider myself a kid person. I do, however, consider myself a very, very good mother. I like to think I have a "mom gene," if that is ok to say. Not as PC as that good ole "guy math gene" but infinitely, better, don't you think? Who in their right mind would want to think and act like a man?

outside_the_box_mom

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 10:01am

All good points and I agree with many....I would like to know how my child is doing in class, whether or not they needed extra help in an area or if they were excelling at another.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 10:05am

No because it's not accurate.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 10:07am
I agree that learning is an individual process.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 10:11am
Why don't you care how your children's peers are doing?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 10:11am
You may think these studies are limited in terms of what they "see". But the studies aren't intersted in "seeing" how the E is used. But are rather in the relationship they see between increased E and increased benefit. If you are saying that as far as you are concerned most people who enjoy increased SES just use it to incur bigger mortgages, bigger car loans and overall more debt, then you are implying something very odd. Or so it seems to me. You are saying that increased debt and decreased financial responsibility , things we would normally subjectively culturally consider as "bad for a family" actually have positive outcome. So maybe it does. Its not really the point. The studies consider the relationship between levels of SES and degree of benefit to a family.

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