Rock and a Hard Place

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Rock and a Hard Place
1524
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 10:45am

There's something on this board that has been bothering me, and I hope I can articulate it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 3:08pm
What benchmarks are there?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 3:08pm
I didn't and mine wasn't. But 90% of the adults I was around during my two mat leaves were a)mothers of about the same age and/or point in child rearing b)focused almost entirely on that aspect of their lives because that was almost entirely their lives. Too many Moms, not enough people.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 3:09pm
But that's true of all kids (although the rate of progress will vary, I grant you that).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 3:11pm
I really am slow.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 3:12pm
I agree.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 3:13pm
But then parents and child should know the child is average, and not expect more or less of him than he's capable of.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 3:14pm
Huh? It is quite clear to me that you believe yourself to be "smarter than the average bear", but honey you couldn't be farther from the truth. First of all, I am not much for competition. I think it has it's place, but not wrt to children. I definately do not compete with other parents, nor do I pit my children against one another, which is what comparing these kind of milestones does. I do not agree with a teacher encouraging parents to use their children as game pieces in a competition. Why it bothers me is for that very reason. Yes, there are misguided parents who would evaluate themselves by where Johnny ranks in relation to his peers in his K class. I have witnessed parents who are unable to accept their children where they are and for who they are - the effects can be devastating. IMO, an effective teacher encourages the child to compete with himself thereby striving to improve and progress.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 3:16pm
For what purpose? Curiousity? To shame the child? To shame the parents? How does this comparing game benefit the child?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 3:21pm
In my school district that is done too. School averages are compared with national averages, not specific children. You see, this is a tool to evaluate the school not the children. Yes, I am interested to know how the school is doing. I am even interested in knowing how the teacher is doing. Some of this information might be interesting, but again to evaluate the teacher, the school, the district - not the children.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 3:22pm

"Why it bothers me is for that very reason."

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