Rock and a Hard Place

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Rock and a Hard Place
1524
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 10:45am

There's something on this board that has been bothering me, and I hope I can articulate it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 4:32pm
I know lots of good competitive people. Sorry I just don't think kids should be used in this manner for parents to compare their themselves to other parents. It is not an accurate evaluation and it serves no purpose for the children. How would it assist parents in improving the education system?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 4:34pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 4:36pm
You're going to nit pick this conversation to death. She didn't do anything wrong. She did comment that "It's not the dc kids" intending to reassure me that dc wasn't playing a negative role. I've told you time and time again that she was not gossiping about other parents. I asked why the discrepency and she explained it and then added that the dc kids weren't in the lower group as reassurance to a WM.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 4:40pm
When our son was about 6 months old and people would ask how old he was dh would say 6 weeks, very matter of factly. One time that really sticks out in my mind, we were in an elevator and a woman was there with a baby near the same age. Ds was smiling and jabbering (he was small - certainly not any more). The woman's face just absolutely dropped. She turned away and didn't even look at ds anymore. I was almost choking trying not to laugh.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 4:40pm

Yes you're right to a point but comparing my two sons is like comparing an apple to a orange.

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 4:41pm
There is just too many variables to accurately compare children at this age with such a small sample.
PumpkinAngel

PumpkinAngel

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 4:41pm
What would *bother* me is why the teacher is presenting this information. The lack of professionalism that CLW presented in the original scenerio is what would *bother* me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 4:42pm
I don't think such a comparison is valid at that age. I don't really have a problem with class rank in high school but not in K, when it isn't really valid, nor is it based on effort.

People tend to think that those at the top should favor such comparisons but what good does it do? In kindergarten, such a comparison is the result of parental effort or the child's natural ability. What is the point of a child knowing that she's at the top of the class when she has done nothing to earn it? This is one big problem that I have with it. I see the kids that are told over and over how smart they are and that they're the best and the attitudes are horrible. It encourages laziness when a child succedes without effort.

Later, when grades have as much to do with effort as ability, I don't see it as such a problem.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2002
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 4:42pm
Actually, I only remember competitiveness coming in around 6-7th grade in school. Before that, there were just the "smart" students, "sports" students etc. It was more a label than an competitive feeling. High school was highly competitive.

I have to say that for ds, the lack of intellectual challenge is hard at times, but one thing that Swedish schools do phenomenally well is help children develop very solid social skills...an absolutely critical ability to have in a country that values being able to work in groups effectively very highly. Since ds is average at best with his social maturity, he has gained some benefits from the system. Now if only I could find a school that would do both, sigh!

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-1998
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 4:43pm
Most likely not.

PumpkinAngel

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