Rock and a Hard Place
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Rock and a Hard Place
| Thu, 11-20-2003 - 10:45am |
There's something on this board that has been bothering me, and I hope I can articulate it.
| Thu, 11-20-2003 - 10:45am |
There's something on this board that has been bothering me, and I hope I can articulate it.
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Would it have bothered me if she had said that? Sure but if it were true, which it fortunately is not, it would need to be said and addressed! When children are not getting what they need to succeed or are getting what they need to succeed, the parents should be told! Fortunately, I was told mine are getting what they need to succeed.
Be forewarned to be very very careful. If you have one child who excels academically and one who does not, in this culture the one who does not will feel less than the one who does. It can be devastating to a little ego. I know this to be true from personal experience - don't know if you read my post about my sister? Once my sister UNDERSTOOD that she was dumb - she was. Nobody ever told her she was, but we all knew it since she was not getting the grades the rest of us were. She stopped trying - what was the use? It wasn't until she was an adult (and has gone through some therapy)that she has discovered how truly brilliant she really was - and she failed two grades. She COULDN'T read until into 2nd grade. Comparing and contrasting children sounds innocent enough, and you may not realize or think it is having an impact, but it does - and it is devastating.
I say this not from personal experience (I have never lived in such a place), but from the experience of friends shuddering over school memories. Some held their academics in check until they got into college. So they could probably have gotten into a better college than they (and I) were in, but didn't want to be the one freak who read more than was needed to get by. And they never even said it was a place where half the kids they went to weren't read to. Some parents will read to kids out of a sense of duty because they know it's something they ought to be doing. But they don't read for their own entertainment and don't encourage the kids to do so either, so reading is only something you should do and never something you want to do. So of course these kids RECOGNIZE a book and it's purpose even at 5, but reading is presented as an obligation rather than fun.
Because these kids are the kids your child will be with till she's 18 (unless you move or switch to private school), what their parents do will impact you and your kids. Because if the way your children are being raised (with books) is out of step with half the classroom, your kid will be "weird".
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