Roles of the parent.

Avatar for juanile
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Roles of the parent.
1094
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 3:29am
I think in the old days men use to tell women the what to do, or what not to do. Today we let other women tell us what is right for us. I have never seen two situations that are the same in any relationship. The roles are changing as we type right now. Women use to think it was worth it to spend as much time at home with their children as time would give them. However, that is not the case today. It is all very sad if you ask me because you have some men that are saying "I will stay home for the kids", and at the same time the women opt not too.I have three girls, the oldest is 8 and the youngest is 3 months , each child has a four yr space. Some parents need duel incomes. I think as children get older it is okay to get work outside the house, but as they are growing and learning new things I would like to see that for myself if I can. I have another year of college and then I will have to work, and I am not looking forward to it. The idea of being away from my children is scary to me. I find it hard to even let them go outside and play. However, I am getting better with it. Both my parents worked, and I recalled how much I wanted to be with my mom. I would have been happy just to go to Walmarts with her, but she never really had the time. It is not a matter of what is right or wrong, but what is the need of the family? Can a family make it on one check? That depends on the location, the home, car, and the life style that the parents want to have. Some could say if you want to be safe, you both have to pay because safe comes with a high price tag. Others could say different. The truth is stay at home moms are on the downfall due to the different types of families today. Is it bad or good, I do not know. However, I can tell you it is life.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 10:44am

It is, unfortunately, still an indicator of how well children will do in school. I can't say for sure, but it seems to me that our education system is set up for white middle class kids and that's whose parents tend to home school. There are things children of different backgrounds might not even be exposed to that are foriegn objects in the classroom. There are words they might never have heard, phrases they might not know the meaning of (goes both ways as the teachers might not get their meaning either given that the majority of teachers are white women.)

Race is still very much an issue in education. Not because people of different races can't learn but because the system is set up to cater to one race. The white race. So they do better in the classroom and on standardized tests. If the system is set up for them and the test written to the system, they are at an automaic advantage.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 10:45am
Anyone who thinks teaching 6 different levels of the same subject is the same as teaching one shouldn't be home schooling. They, obviously, aren't doing their prep work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 10:48am

Why? Does my not feeling a personal sense of accomplishment for what my children accomplish take something away from THEIR accomplishment? Why is my not riding on their coat tails a negative for them?

I've had my time to shine. Now it's theirs. Me basking in the glow with them doesn't add to their accomplishments, it takes away from them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 10:56am

On an individual basis, anything is possible but one should be capable of listing those benefits if asked. That seems to be missing from the crowd claiming SAH is some benefit.

As to WOH having downfalls, it doesn't in general. They have not found that X, Y or Z generally happens if mom works. However, census data supports that WM's are raising their family's economic status by a significant amount. So, in general, we do positively impact our family's finances (well on average we do).

There is no general negative to being a WM but when you include finances, there is a general positive. There is no general positive or negative to being a SAHM. SAH is neutral. WOH is most likely a benefit.

No this doesn't mean that every WM claims that benefit. There are always exceptions. But usually, SAH makes no difference while WOH does.

And no, this is not a militant statement. Recognizing that SAH isn't some special brand of motherhood with special results to prove it is just common sense. WOH, OTOH, probably does. Few of us woudl work if it made no difference. Many women seem to SAH in spite of it making no difference. Perhaps that's because their working would make no difference or they never prepared to have decent employment.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 11:01am
So, when people like Reese Witherspoon gush about how much her family meant to her, and meant to the success of her career is she wrong? Should her parents and grandmother and husband not accept those thanks? Should she not recognize them? Did they play NO PART in her rise to the top?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 11:06am
i dont know if it prepares them for the real world, but it does give them a place to learn new and different ways of looking at things. adn while the kids in my daughters classes are the same age, in that they are teens, that age varies from 15-18, the majority of them are the same race but they are certainly not from the same socio-economic status and they have not had the same expereinces nor do they have the same outlook on life and the world.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 11:08am
oh please
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 11:08am

i think i know what you're saying and agree with this to a certain extent....

>>How exactly does public school prepare on for the *real* world? School, especially once one reaches middle school and high school, is its own weird little subcul<<
what do you mean by subcultures. friendships, cliques? curious.....though i agree that no school really *prepares* a child for any real evident future or world, i do think public school (for my children) has opened my eyes to a lot more real life and diversity than a catholic school ever did........i grew up with the impression that *all* kids went to catholic school, and all kids were catholic too for that matter. i also remember the first time i saw a minority in my classroom (9th grade....1979). this was a news flash/shocker because we had never seen it before as the majority of black kids didn't attend catholic school where i lived. and tbh, minorities are few and far between in some private schools here. the catholic school down the street has spanish in it's curriculum and considering that spanish isn't taught at public schools here (i wish it was, lol), pretty much defines where the real mix of diversity is.

..i'm not saying that the only wealth of reality and diversity is found in public schools, but i do think public school is more *real* than intimate and less diverse private schools and homeschool.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 11:12am
of course she is not wrong, that is how she feels. i think you should always accept thanks when it is given, regardless of who it is thanking you. she should recognize whomever she feels helped her. only she is going to know if they played a part in her rise to the top, if whe believes they did, then they did. if she felt they didnt, would that mean her parents were bad parents?
Jennie
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 11:31am
I can. When you have enough, you have enough. Even you said you wouldn't work if you couldn't make at least 100K. Less than that wouldn't be worth it to you.

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