Roles of the parent.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Roles of the parent.
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Tue, 03-07-2006 - 3:29am
I think in the old days men use to tell women the what to do, or what not to do. Today we let other women tell us what is right for us. I have never seen two situations that are the same in any relationship. The roles are changing as we type right now. Women use to think it was worth it to spend as much time at home with their children as time would give them. However, that is not the case today. It is all very sad if you ask me because you have some men that are saying "I will stay home for the kids", and at the same time the women opt not too.I have three girls, the oldest is 8 and the youngest is 3 months , each child has a four yr space. Some parents need duel incomes. I think as children get older it is okay to get work outside the house, but as they are growing and learning new things I would like to see that for myself if I can. I have another year of college and then I will have to work, and I am not looking forward to it. The idea of being away from my children is scary to me. I find it hard to even let them go outside and play. However, I am getting better with it. Both my parents worked, and I recalled how much I wanted to be with my mom. I would have been happy just to go to Walmarts with her, but she never really had the time. It is not a matter of what is right or wrong, but what is the need of the family? Can a family make it on one check? That depends on the location, the home, car, and the life style that the parents want to have. Some could say if you want to be safe, you both have to pay because safe comes with a high price tag. Others could say different. The truth is stay at home moms are on the downfall due to the different types of families today. Is it bad or good, I do not know. However, I can tell you it is life.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 12:49pm
Not IMO. I have been very happy with my community college experiences. I don't see why you can't make contacts there. Most instructors in CCs are still in the "real world", rather than 100% instructors.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 12:53pm

How my SAH matters to my family: (In no particular priority order)

* My husband is far less stressed because I take care of the domestic responsibilities and allow him to *enjoy* his time with our children rather than have to pitch in 50/50 with things like toilet scrubbing etc. Since he has a high stress job, this makes a REAL difference as far as his being able to leave work at work and enjoy his home/family time. That right there is reason enough for me to consider my SAH a great benefit to my family.

* My children have the benefit of being cared for almost all of the time by a loving, consistant caregiver who loves and cares for them more than anyone else in the world (outside of their father ;) And while they will certainly be cared for by others in their lives, IMO it's a positive experience for all of us that we're able to spend these first few years together without having to share ;)

* My children don't have the stress of seperation anxiety on a daily basis. (And while that may not matter for my DS who wouldn't have it either way, being the little socialite he is, it matters a great deal for my DD who doesn't do well in situations where either myself, my husband or her grandmas are present.)

* By SAH I have the time and energy to create the sort of family environment that our family wants for ourselves. I am less stressed not having as much on my plate and therefore a better parent.

* I'm able to drop everything and go do something fun with my kids. IMO looking at the same four walls isn't good day after day, whether those walls are at home or a childcare facility. We can go down to the local farm/petting zoo, stop in at the bakery and watch them making all the yummy cakes, breads etc. (and often get a chance to "help"), we can pop in to the zoo, the library, invite friends over for some fun, there are all sorts of things that we can do that they wouldn't be able to do or that we'd be far less likely to do were I WOH.

Those are just some of the points I can think of at the moment. I'm sure I could list quite a few more. ;)

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 12:54pm

I agree. IMO, the only reason for homeschooling is if regular school doesn't work for a student. The point I was trying to make is that it's not automatically better because it produced above average results. One would expect much better than above average results with all it has stacked in it's favor.

My fear is that people will look at those above average stats, not realize that that much difference and more would be expected based just on socioeconomic status and parental involvement and think "Gee maybe I should home school". Homeschooling because it works for your child is one thing. Homeschooling because you think it's automatically a better form of schooling is another. I don't want to see poeple choosing it and sticking with it for the wrong reasons. What it really has had going for it is that those for whom it doesn't work for quit so you're looking only at the success stories. If you only looked at the success stories out of a public school, they'd look a lot better than the home schooled bunch.

Home schooling will cease to have above average results if parents feel pressured, because it's BETTER, to stick with it or start it when they wouldn't otherwise be inclined to do it. My fear is something that works for a segment of the population is about to go mainstream and may not work quite so well for the bulk of the population. Unfortunately, for the group starting home schooling today, it will be 13 years before these kids go to college and 4 more before we know the number who graduate IF it's reported at all.

I do believe that homeschooling works well for some kids but I don't think it should be chosen as an option lightly. You need to look at the parents ability to teach, the child's learning style and the resources you'd have as a homeschooler. I would hate to see people deciding to home school based on data that says it's better than average. It SHOULD be considered you only stick with it if it works for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 12:55pm

"I didn't forget. I just wasn't interested in answering that question."

I'll take that as you can't. When you refuse to answer a question in a debate, it's a cop out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 12:57pm

Tutors in general? No- I agree. But tutors as the primary basis of ones childrens education? That tends to get pricey.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 12:57pm
The teacher wasn't doing her job then and something should have been done about it. Taking time away from 24 kids for 1 is an issue. All 25 are there for an education. If the 1 needs help, meet them after school or send them to the learning lab for more help. This should not happen.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 12:59pm
What I'm saying is it isn't for 1, it's usually for half the class. Not everyone learns at the same rate. If 3 students learn very quickly, they will always have to wait for the rest of the class.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 1:23pm

That may be so, but an excellent public school system would encourage a student to the extent of his or her potential. I had classmates as early as 8th grade take their math classes at community college.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 1:24pm
I was thinking about contacts with fellow students rather than instructors.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 1:28pm

good point TB3.

i would think the beauty and advantage of public education would be the fact that all children can learn at their own pace...in alternative educations like homeschool, private, you need to fit a mold. i could never homeschool because i don't have the grasp of something like calculus that a professional teacher has (thank goodness, lol!). private school is the same way with entrance exams, selection process etc. that you must pass just to get in!

there's no disadvantage to public school unless you're the kid who can't sit still, wait or cooperate. imo.




Edited 3/10/2006 1:30 pm ET by egd3blessed

 

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