Roles of the parent.

Avatar for juanile
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Roles of the parent.
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Tue, 03-07-2006 - 3:29am
I think in the old days men use to tell women the what to do, or what not to do. Today we let other women tell us what is right for us. I have never seen two situations that are the same in any relationship. The roles are changing as we type right now. Women use to think it was worth it to spend as much time at home with their children as time would give them. However, that is not the case today. It is all very sad if you ask me because you have some men that are saying "I will stay home for the kids", and at the same time the women opt not too.I have three girls, the oldest is 8 and the youngest is 3 months , each child has a four yr space. Some parents need duel incomes. I think as children get older it is okay to get work outside the house, but as they are growing and learning new things I would like to see that for myself if I can. I have another year of college and then I will have to work, and I am not looking forward to it. The idea of being away from my children is scary to me. I find it hard to even let them go outside and play. However, I am getting better with it. Both my parents worked, and I recalled how much I wanted to be with my mom. I would have been happy just to go to Walmarts with her, but she never really had the time. It is not a matter of what is right or wrong, but what is the need of the family? Can a family make it on one check? That depends on the location, the home, car, and the life style that the parents want to have. Some could say if you want to be safe, you both have to pay because safe comes with a high price tag. Others could say different. The truth is stay at home moms are on the downfall due to the different types of families today. Is it bad or good, I do not know. However, I can tell you it is life.

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Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 8:24pm

My boss went to Harvard for undergrad and medical school. On night at dinner, a visiting professor (who also went to Harvard) and he were reminiscing about who they knew in school. Plenty of politician's kids and business people, etc. The only one that really impressed me was Yo-Yo Ma. Now he would have been cool to know in college.

For me with my plain ole state college degree, it was very much like listening about a different world.

Avatar for mom34101
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 8:30pm

Yo Yo Ma? That would be cool.

Honestly, when I read about former classmates being appointed to the bench or running for office, my first thought is, "I remember when we used to drink beer and play softball together." Most of these people I haven't seen in years, so I still think of them as their 25-yr-old selves.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 8:31pm

<>

Peer pressure ~ if a HS'd child is properly exposed to other peers, then she will experience the same peer pressure that goes on in schools. If she does not experience peer pressure, then IMO she's not being properly HS'd but rather, is being isolated from the real world.

Bullying ~ many schools have a zero tolerance policy nowadays. More and more, schools are addressing the Queen Bee/Kingpin phenomenon.

Large class sizes ~ all public schools are different. But the child is pretty much certain to experience large classes in college. I would imagine the HS'd child would be overwhelmed and unprepared if he first sees this in college.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 8:33pm

Right 2 + 2 is just so close to an infinite summation.

You didn't take much math in college did you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 8:36pm
Well said. That's a healthy outlook.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 8:57pm

I wasn't trying to persuade you, I don't think. I was just commenting (in a by the way sort of way) that my opinion about homeschooling has evolved as I've learned more about it, as my children have entered their school years and started their formal educations and I've been exploring their options. Your children aren't as far along in the education process so you might not have as much exposure, experience, or knowledge in the area, nor do you appear to be in the process of learning about alternate educational options. You don't sound particularly well-versed about homeschooling so forgive me if you do happen to have just as much knowledge about it as I do and you still don't accept that it can be more time efficient than public school or that it can just as effectively prepare students for the real world.

A "brand" university would be one that is known mostly for its name cache--impressing others by the prestige of the university over the actual education received there. Pricey means that it costs a lot. As an aside, the branding of universities is a pretty well-accepted notion these days. I first read about it a while back in Wilson Quarterly. If you are interested, here's a taste:
http://bama.ua.edu/~sprentic/695%20Higher%20ed%20inc.htm

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 8:58pm

<>

The sahm is not a historically new concept. Forget your history book for a moment and just use common sense. Before the advent of modern birth control, there were always mothers with several very young children, closely spaced, who did not have any help from family or friends in raising the children. Are you saying these mothers worked? How? Daycare? Like the modern sahm, they didn't work for money, but rather had chores which took that admittedly twice as long as they would today plus they had infants and children who demanded their complete attention for a few years. Even today's sahm usually rtw after a few years.

<<...and that generation turned out the baby boomers of the 60's who inspired the sexual revolution and and the counter cutural movement connected to illicit substances.>>

I see no connection. Rather, I recall the turn of the 20th Century where morphine was prescribed for every little ill. As for sexual revolutions, the '70s were downright Victorian. Have you ever heard of the Romans and the 18th Century British "histories" Moll Flanders, Tom Jones, Tristam Shandy. The more things have changed, the more they've stayed the same. The sahm is not a modern invention.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 9:05pm
I always love finding out that the guy who was drunk out of his gourd four or five nights a week who we had to watch over on the really bad nights so he wouldn't aspirate his own vomit, has become a prominent pediatric psychiatrist.
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Registered: 11-03-2005
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 9:11pm
Or because they aren't interested in research. There are plenty of extremely well qualified *teachers* that won't get hired by a big university because they want to teach ... not do research. Most large universities pay their professors to research more than teach. For example, at my university (as in where I work), most of our physics professors are on 20/80 or 10/90 assignments. 10-20% instruction, 80-90% research. And we're not even a big-name university (we're a Big 12 school). Smaller university and community colleges are about instruction. Also, in many larger universities, grad assistants (PhD candidates) often do the teaching, not the professors.


Edited 3/10/2006 9:14 pm ET by okiegirl71
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Registered: 01-06-2006
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 9:15pm

It may be an art and a craft but it's not worthy of the adoration that is lavished on them. There are people who do far more good than they do who don't get half the accolades. The recognition is out of step with the value of what they do. Reese Witherspoon would not be my idea of a successful child. She fits in the "that's nice" category.

I mean it's great she does what she likes but it's just entertainment. It's not like she's teaching the blind or curing cancer. She's not actually accomplishing something. At the end of the day, no one is better off because of what she does. The movie studio and her are just richer. It's just not my idea of success. How much talent does it really take to pretend to be someone else. Honestly, all you really need is to dislike yourself enough to want to play a part.

Entertainment is entertainment. It's not actually something useful. It doesn't help anyone except in that it helps a few get rich. If it's what my child wants, that is their choice but I wouldn't call it an accomplishment even if they win an oscar. It's too self serving and self glorifying for me to call it an accomplishment. They get their reward in the money they're paid and the public clamoring to see them. I don't see why they need pats on the back too.

While I like being entertained, I don't think much of the actors beyond their part in the movie. I couldn't tell you who starred in many a movie I really liked. They did their job, got their recognition and were paid well. I don't think they deserve pats on the back and awards too as if they're doing something important. Now, a Nobel prize winner. There is someone who deserves accolades for what they do.

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