Roles of the parent.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Roles of the parent.
1094
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 3:29am
I think in the old days men use to tell women the what to do, or what not to do. Today we let other women tell us what is right for us. I have never seen two situations that are the same in any relationship. The roles are changing as we type right now. Women use to think it was worth it to spend as much time at home with their children as time would give them. However, that is not the case today. It is all very sad if you ask me because you have some men that are saying "I will stay home for the kids", and at the same time the women opt not too.I have three girls, the oldest is 8 and the youngest is 3 months , each child has a four yr space. Some parents need duel incomes. I think as children get older it is okay to get work outside the house, but as they are growing and learning new things I would like to see that for myself if I can. I have another year of college and then I will have to work, and I am not looking forward to it. The idea of being away from my children is scary to me. I find it hard to even let them go outside and play. However, I am getting better with it. Both my parents worked, and I recalled how much I wanted to be with my mom. I would have been happy just to go to Walmarts with her, but she never really had the time. It is not a matter of what is right or wrong, but what is the need of the family? Can a family make it on one check? That depends on the location, the home, car, and the life style that the parents want to have. Some could say if you want to be safe, you both have to pay because safe comes with a high price tag. Others could say different. The truth is stay at home moms are on the downfall due to the different types of families today. Is it bad or good, I do not know. However, I can tell you it is life.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 10:19pm
Thank you. Thank you! It wouldn't be possible without the rest of you! And ivillage! And Al Gore for inventing the internet!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2005
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 10:22pm
roflmaopmp
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 11:21pm

What actors do is very self serving and it's easier than a lot of things like being a doctor, a fireman, a policeman, an EMT, a teacher, the list goes on. Not exactly a hard field (hard to get a break in but that's just a matter of who you know) compared to other occupations. I can think of lots of things that deserve the accolades we reserve for actors. Someone who spends their life going "Look at me" isn't exactly someone I admire.

Yes there are those who do difficult forms of entertainment. Those that take real talent and years of practice to perfect but that's more arts than entertainment. Most actors don't fit that mold.

I can think of hundreds of occupations that deserve accolades more than actors and actresses do. Isn't the rediculous money they get paid enough? Apparently not. We're supposed to worship them too. No thank you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Fri, 03-10-2006 - 11:23pm
I've said I think there is value in entertainment but the down right worship we give to stars is rediculous and uncalled for. I much prefer classical music myself. At least classical music requires real talent (as opposed to just knowing the right person to get the part) and it takes a lot of hard work to get there. That I can respect. Most actors, I wouldn't give the time of day to. They've been over paid and over fawned over already. They won't miss if I don't even bother to remember their names.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 12:02am
we live in a very small town, we have a convent for retired sisters, and next to the school district it is the largest employeer in town and they are a wonderful resource for the kids in town. they have developed a very good and close relationship with the public school. in fact when my 7 year old didnt have a grandparent for grandparents day at her school we adopted a sister and she went to the activities with my daughter.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 2:12am

Well, unless you're teaching under the Cone of Silence, the other kids will overhear some of the instruction from the more advanced lessons. Not all of what they overhear will stick completely or make total sense, nor should it, but it's not at all inconceivable that mental connections are made and initiated that, as the child progresses, become clearer, more easily, having already heard the lesson before.

When John was 5, he asked me what algebra was and I gave him a VERY basic explanation, using a two-sided scale as an example (taking or adding equal amounts from each side to keep the scale balanced in the same way as it was originally). It helped him understand the very basic concept of algebra.

When he began to study it in earnest, he told me that it helped him sometimes to remember the idea of the scale.

Karen


"Terry manages to hand the bag off to Ruth Marie, who takes off in the most mincing sprint you have ever seen in your life. She does her best, but she runs like she's got a pink parasol in one hand and an inhaler in the other."


Miss Alli @ TelevisionWithoutPity, Survivor: Exile Island



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Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 2:21am
In your avatar picture, I think you look like Amy Acker (from Angel).

Karen


"Terry manages to hand the bag off to Ruth Marie, who takes off in the most mincing sprint you have ever seen in your life. She does her best, but she runs like she's got a pink parasol in one hand and an inhaler in the other."


Miss Alli @ TelevisionWithoutPity, Survivor: Exile Island



Image hosting by PhotobucketImage hosting by PhotobucketImage hosting by Photobucket

Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 4:16am

Yes, it is


http://www.sandi.net/comm/schools/dir.htm


I understand it is one of the best high schools in the country.

Mondo

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 6:09am

But are these trips "educational?" Does a student learn anything educational in visiting Gettysburg, the zoo or the local crayon-making factory? Unlike in my day, schools have great video and internet access these days to increase the child's ability to experience it. I hear about some school trips, and I have to laugh.

Lots of places are so family friendly these days, I'd prefer classroom instruction and let the parents decide if a trip to the soup kitchen or battered women's shelter is something they even want for their student.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2006
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 6:25am

"Forget your history book for a moment and just use "

Look at hunter/gatherer societies. Mom goes off and gathers while either elders or older children too young to go watch the babies.

On a farm, mom didn't stay at home. She had to go milk the cows, feed the chickens, gather the eggs, plant/tend/harvest the garden and help her husband in any way she could manage. She could be blocks away from her babies for considerable lengths of time. She'd use older siblings to watch the children or just leave them unattended while she ran and did things and take her chances.

Our local museum has a divice called a baby tender. It's a box with a peaked roof where the peak has been cut off to make an opening. The "roof" opens and you can put a toddler in then close the roof. The toddler, if they stand on tippy toes can just peak out. It was used to keep children out of trouble and out of the way while mom worked.

Look at Serf communities. Moms again helped work the land (which is outside of the home) and often worked as servants in the homes of the wealhty.

Yes, let's use some common sense. Moms with the freedom to just stay home are a new invention. While moms were close to home, one can make the argument we stil are given the speed with which we can be contacted these days.

As my grandmother said "Women have always worked. All that has changed is the location of her work.". She also pointed out that unlike most of history, children actually have someone whose job it is just to take care of them when we work now. Childcare has been fitted in around an incredible amount of work for a lot of history.

Personally, I think the hunter/gatherer societies would have afforded the most freedom for everyone (not just moms) but it still had the element of others caring for the babies while moms did what needed to be done. My guess would be that in such societies, moms were right there with their babies more than today's working mom but so were dads. While some community arrangements did allow for more parent/child time than today's DWP model, you can't say that that time was actually used on the children either. Face time does not equal time spent with children.

If you want to make the argument that a woman working a farm with her husband is a SAHM then isn't the dad also a SAHD? Why isn't the fact men have gone off to work an issue? Ditto for hunter/gatherer societies, dad was right there too. Why isn't that an issue?

Today isn't that different than most of history. All we've changed is where mom does her work. While I may spend fewer hours in the physical presence of my children, I don't have anywhere near the housework to occupy my time that women had in the past. My great grandmother claimed to put in more than 12 hours a day in working every day but Sunday when she only had about 4-5 hours preparing and cleaning up after meals.

Why do you think pysically home but ignoring your children is a better arrangement than going to work and leaving them with someone who is trained and educated in child develompent whose only job is caring for them? Honestly, children today get a lot more adult time than in the past.

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