Roles of the parent.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Roles of the parent.
1094
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 3:29am
I think in the old days men use to tell women the what to do, or what not to do. Today we let other women tell us what is right for us. I have never seen two situations that are the same in any relationship. The roles are changing as we type right now. Women use to think it was worth it to spend as much time at home with their children as time would give them. However, that is not the case today. It is all very sad if you ask me because you have some men that are saying "I will stay home for the kids", and at the same time the women opt not too.I have three girls, the oldest is 8 and the youngest is 3 months , each child has a four yr space. Some parents need duel incomes. I think as children get older it is okay to get work outside the house, but as they are growing and learning new things I would like to see that for myself if I can. I have another year of college and then I will have to work, and I am not looking forward to it. The idea of being away from my children is scary to me. I find it hard to even let them go outside and play. However, I am getting better with it. Both my parents worked, and I recalled how much I wanted to be with my mom. I would have been happy just to go to Walmarts with her, but she never really had the time. It is not a matter of what is right or wrong, but what is the need of the family? Can a family make it on one check? That depends on the location, the home, car, and the life style that the parents want to have. Some could say if you want to be safe, you both have to pay because safe comes with a high price tag. Others could say different. The truth is stay at home moms are on the downfall due to the different types of families today. Is it bad or good, I do not know. However, I can tell you it is life.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 6:36am
Yeah, you sure couldn't learn anything beneficial at Gettysburg.....

Karen


"Terry manages to hand the bag off to Ruth Marie, who takes off in the most mincing sprint you have ever seen in your life. She does her best, but she runs like she's got a pink parasol in one hand and an inhaler in the other."


Miss Alli @ TelevisionWithoutPity, Survivor: Exile Island



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Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 6:38am

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And that's fine with me. IME the public schools do and should offer community service such as visiting the nursing home, cooking and serving at soup kitchens/food banks, hosting a holiday party for low-income children, collecting toys/clothes for the still-unattended-to victims of Katrina, etc.

I just finished up a few months helping victims of domestic abuse living in a shelter to fill out uncontested divorce petitions. After speaking with them one-on-one, I highly doubt they would benefit chatting with your happy Middle Schooler popping in every other week (and then skipping home to your heated house with their X-boxes and comfy warm beds). Same with a homeless shelter or soup kitchen.

Why do you think it helps these desperate people to sit and talk with your child?

I think it's unkind to educate your child about the hopeless victims in our society at their expense.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 6:43am

What "damage?" If the young child cannot overcome tedium and being presented with the same material he previously learned, he will not make it in the real world.

I've already told you my DH's story. He has a genius IQ and was bitter when denied the opportunity to skip 3rd grade. Oh, well. Too bad. He "rallied" in high school...and I think he even had to study in college. If tedium had "damaged" him, then he rightly should not have gotten where he is today ~ he could not handle it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 6:47am
As a family, we did the whole Civil War tour when I was in elementary school including Gettysburg. Seeing silent, open fields where battles were fought, "actors" in period costumes and visiting gift shops was not educational. It was a nice diversion from an otherwise hot summer. It's not where I want my tax dollars going, thank you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 7:11am
While it's quite a shame that "as a family" your trip was fluffy and worthless, I don't think your familial flaws are all that applicable to school field trips. Or even to any other family but yours.

Karen


"Terry manages to hand the bag off to Ruth Marie, who takes off in the most mincing sprint you have ever seen in your life. She does her best, but she runs like she's got a pink parasol in one hand and an inhaler in the other."


Miss Alli @ TelevisionWithoutPity, Survivor: Exile Island



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Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 7:44am
Maybe. I hope my kids are responsible enough to take it seriously without having to pay for it. My roommates parents were very well off. She could not get below a B in any subject or she would have to pay for the class. I thought it was a good incentive to do well in school.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 8:39am

DH and I don't have a "class" identity with our university graduating class either. However, for the most part, the friends we made Freshman year are the ones we kept and still keep today.

There is something about that first year in college that forms longer lasting friendships. If we ever moved to a college town and one of my boys was going to attend it- he wouldn't live at home - he would be in the dorms with the other Freshman.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 9:02am
What is wrong with the kids having to work during college? Don't you think that could add to the learning experience?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 9:08am
I know this wasn't addressed to me but I thought I could still reply. I think that it is okay for parents to not be expected to pay for all/large majority of their kids' college expense. I think it definitely helps kids learn responsiblity sooner rather than later if they are responsible for their a lot of their own education experience. IMO, it is better for kids to get into the college environment with the philosophy (?) of "my parents expect me to help with the funding for this, so I better figure out how to make it possible for me to take a part in my own success" instead of "my parents are footing the bill for all of this so WOO-HOO let's have some fun, mom and dad will pay for it anyway." Does that make sense?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 9:15am
ITA. I think it can add a lot to the child's education experience by working while in college.

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