Roles of the parent.

Avatar for juanile
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Roles of the parent.
1094
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 3:29am
I think in the old days men use to tell women the what to do, or what not to do. Today we let other women tell us what is right for us. I have never seen two situations that are the same in any relationship. The roles are changing as we type right now. Women use to think it was worth it to spend as much time at home with their children as time would give them. However, that is not the case today. It is all very sad if you ask me because you have some men that are saying "I will stay home for the kids", and at the same time the women opt not too.I have three girls, the oldest is 8 and the youngest is 3 months , each child has a four yr space. Some parents need duel incomes. I think as children get older it is okay to get work outside the house, but as they are growing and learning new things I would like to see that for myself if I can. I have another year of college and then I will have to work, and I am not looking forward to it. The idea of being away from my children is scary to me. I find it hard to even let them go outside and play. However, I am getting better with it. Both my parents worked, and I recalled how much I wanted to be with my mom. I would have been happy just to go to Walmarts with her, but she never really had the time. It is not a matter of what is right or wrong, but what is the need of the family? Can a family make it on one check? That depends on the location, the home, car, and the life style that the parents want to have. Some could say if you want to be safe, you both have to pay because safe comes with a high price tag. Others could say different. The truth is stay at home moms are on the downfall due to the different types of families today. Is it bad or good, I do not know. However, I can tell you it is life.

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Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 9:15am

The fact that someone else could do what you do doesn't negate the fact that you're the one doing it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 9:22am

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I work at the public school here in town and we do have classes that do this. We have a CAD class that works with Habitat for Humanity in drawing up plans for the houses they build and then going to the site to help them build it, we have a Family Science class that helps at the Domestic Abuse shelter, we have a Health class that spends some time going to the local Hospice center to get a hands on feeling of how to care for those in the final stages of life. So it does happen in the public school system as well as families doing it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 9:24am

I really do not think there is much connection to between a child taking college seriously and a child blowing off blowing off college and who is paying for it. Some kids (and adults) take life/responsibilty seriously and some are partiers/irresponsible. Don't think it matters who is paying.

Those who say that they had to take college seriously because it was their buck probably would have taken it just as seriously if it were their parents buck. Those that didn't take is seriously on their parents buck probably would not take it any more serously on their own buck, infact they probably would not even be in college.

By the time a kid is of college age you can usually tell which end of the responsiblity spectrum they fall on. Although there are some surprises, a kids who seems responsible in high school having trouble dealing with the new found freedom of college and kids that seem irresponsible throughout high school maturing greatly once out in the "real" world.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 9:41am

At a college level, students should be able to handle large class sizes. I am speaking more from the perspective of elementary and middle school. If you think homeschoolers are totally overwhelmed by new experiences then you have an antiquated notion of what hs is all about, frankly. I imagine you still have that vision of the socially backward kid living in a bubble.

From what I've seen of peer pressure amongst homeschoolers, it isn't in the same category as it is in a school setting. Homeschoolers that I've seen don't feel pressure to dress or behave a certain way. I don't see peer pressure as a positive in the context that it occurs in a school setting.

Schools may be addressing the bullying issue, but if you ask most kids if bullying happens in their schools, the answer would be yes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 9:53am

Hmmm, I wrote that my family vacation was a nice diversion but not educational ~ which BTW was the only topic being discussed.

From that, you exaggerate that we had "familial flaws," the time spent together on vacation was "worthless" and that there was something wrong with my family. Obviously, you are jealous. There's nothing I can do about that but feel bad for you. But next time, please don't involve me in your little pity party.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 9:58am
I find it hard to believe that your family didn't learn anything from a trip to Gettysburg. That seems weird to me tbh.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 10:05am
I don't agree with that. When I was in college several of my friends were there "on their parent's buck" and did act as if they were there only for fun - that lasted all of two years. Then their parents told them, "Sorry, you want to think this is all fun and games? then you fund your fun and games on your own. Our money is gone." IMMEDIATELY they began to take it more seriously. I highly doubt they "matured" that quickly. I don't buy into the theory of "We will pay for you for four more years but then when you get on your own in the 'real' world, you are on your own." I believe in the "You are 'somewhat' on your own 'in the boundaries of college' so that when you are in the 'real' world, you are that much more responsible and ready to deal with it." I will want my kids to learn how to manage their money/time/etc while they are in college instead of after they graduate and are fully in the real world.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 10:06am

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No, I don't need to have been HS'd to know it fails to prepare the child for the real world. Thankfully it seems most HS'ing parents acknowledge this and also know their own limitations when it comes to instruction, as they wisely place their children in traditional high schools.

It is my experience in traditional schools that allows me to understand where HS'ing fails. So, you don't have to include me in your little group who feels they need to read about the subject or sit in the HS'ing environment to understand something that is quite simple. I disagree that you and I have the same knowledge on the subject. Unlike you, I will never have to desperately explore alternatives only to face great disappointment should one of mine prove gifted. You and I have very, very different approaches to education.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 10:18am

It was a pleasant diversion and a nice place to visit. But it didn't teach me anything I didn't already know.

What could a visit to Gettysburg possibly teach a student nowadays that he would not already know?

If you believe that your child will be educated by visiting Gettysburg in a way he otherwise could not through books, the videos, the internet, Ken Burns, etc., isn't it then neglectful of you as his teacher not to take him to Fort Sumter, Bull Run and Vicksburg, among at least 50 other battlefields and the Missississippi?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 10:21am
<> How on earth can you make such a statement? Then you go on to claim to know what most homeschooling parents do with their kids and why they do it. Do you have special powers that allow you to see things that no one else sees? You further amaze me with your ability to never have an experience and to know exactly everything about that experience. Maybe you can tell us all what it was like to be a soldier at Gettysburg? I think I'm beginning to understand why you didn't learn anything there, you already knew!

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