Roles of the parent.

Avatar for juanile
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Roles of the parent.
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Tue, 03-07-2006 - 3:29am
I think in the old days men use to tell women the what to do, or what not to do. Today we let other women tell us what is right for us. I have never seen two situations that are the same in any relationship. The roles are changing as we type right now. Women use to think it was worth it to spend as much time at home with their children as time would give them. However, that is not the case today. It is all very sad if you ask me because you have some men that are saying "I will stay home for the kids", and at the same time the women opt not too.I have three girls, the oldest is 8 and the youngest is 3 months , each child has a four yr space. Some parents need duel incomes. I think as children get older it is okay to get work outside the house, but as they are growing and learning new things I would like to see that for myself if I can. I have another year of college and then I will have to work, and I am not looking forward to it. The idea of being away from my children is scary to me. I find it hard to even let them go outside and play. However, I am getting better with it. Both my parents worked, and I recalled how much I wanted to be with my mom. I would have been happy just to go to Walmarts with her, but she never really had the time. It is not a matter of what is right or wrong, but what is the need of the family? Can a family make it on one check? That depends on the location, the home, car, and the life style that the parents want to have. Some could say if you want to be safe, you both have to pay because safe comes with a high price tag. Others could say different. The truth is stay at home moms are on the downfall due to the different types of families today. Is it bad or good, I do not know. However, I can tell you it is life.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 10:26am
Have you ever heard of hands on learning? Learning through experiencing? No it is not neglectful if one doesn't visit every battlefield out there as anyone knows it is impossible to learn everything there is to learn in one lifetime. It doesn't however mean that no one should ever visit a battlefield in person and learn from that experience.
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 10:48am
Yes that's how I feel as well. If one partner earns substantially more than the other, and that amount is high enough to cover a family easily, it certainly doesnt make sense for the other person to work, if they don't want to work. Kids or no kids!
Avatar for myshkamouse
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 10:51am

On another note, is being an actress really success in life? Actors and actresses are people who need the spotlight on them. I don't really call that success."

Why not? They've chosen a field, they've worked hard at it, and they've reached the top of their profession. That is the definition of success...whether its in law, accounting, acting or music.

" Just look at their divorce rates."

Again, that has nothing to do with successful *careers.* And our divorce rates overall are 50%+....actors just get more attention when they divorce.

" Personally, I will be sad if one of my daughters ends up with an Oscar. I'd rather they have a more genuine life where who they really are matters more than who they can pretend to be."

How incredibly judgemental. How do you know if Reese Witherspon is "pretending" to be someone she isnt? When she acts she's practicing her craft. When she's not acting, I'm sure she's just as "real" as you. I'd be "sad" as a child of someone who would pass such judgements on my chosen profession and not be happy for me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 10:54am
I don't have any basis for knowing that they are dumber now than they used to be. Perhaps they have always been dumb. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 11:00am

<>

Then what of homeschool grad and Olympic skiier Bode Miller and his abusing alcohol? What of the HS co-op lovers who killed her entire family to run off and get married?

http://newsbusters.org/node/2822

Unless they are cut off from the internet or something, I think HS'ers are no longer exempt from "the bad" the outside world has to offer. But they may be cut off from the very good things that I believe traditional schools offer, including the group dynamics that HS'ing simply cannot (nor wants to!) match.

Aren't you sending your girls to traditional high schools anyway? That's really when peer pressure can take hold of a student. Not so much the earlier grades IMO and experience.

<> True. And modern-day bullying is exacerbated because of e-mail and the internet. BUT, the good news is, once you bring the bullying to the attention of the school administration, you have a much greater likelihood than ever before that the administration will intervene for many reasons including the Zero Tolerance policies and a fear of lawsuits.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 11:09am
And since you don't have your children in traditional schools, I'm not surprised in your absolute certainty that public school students live only to pressure their peers to engage in misbehavior...after they gang up and bully each other.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 11:09am

Oh you are so right, that one olympic skier represents all homeschoolers just as the murders at Columbine must represent all public school kids.

Give some examples of group dymamics that homeschoolers can't match, then we can talk.

How old are your children that you can speak of the high school experience wrt peer pressure? I believe that the fact that my children are not peer dependent will work in their favor when they come in contact with peer pressure in high school.

The problem is that bullying has to be reported in order for it to be addressed. Many kids don't want to be considered a narc, so they simply don't tell and deal with it on their own.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 11:11am
If that were actually my perception of public schools, I wouldn't put my kids in them. You couldn't be more wrong in your perception of what I think.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 11:25am

If at 18 their parents were not paying their way would they have acted any differently. There is no way of knowing. The first two years may have been a wasted anyway.

Them starting to take it seriously may have been because of a combination of their parents decision and their own maturing. It is possoble that even if their parents did continue to pay they would have started to take things serioulsly that year (just probably not as abruptly). Again is it something that will never be known.




Edited 3/11/2006 11:32 am ET by texigan
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 12:23pm

They are just as they've always been. It's you that's changed. You are now an adult with adult family responsibilities and you see college through that lens. You aren't doing this because that's just what people your age do after highschool. You are on the other side now and are seeing college as a means to an end rather than just as the next step after highschool.

I went to a 4 year college when 18-21 and fit right in with all the other single, childless 18-21yo's. We were on the same page. Later at ~24/25 I had to go back to a different 4 year college and pick up some classes I needed for my career. They were undergrad classes and I was a FT employed, mid-20s adult mixed in with jobless 20yo's. So I felt that difference that you feel now. But it's really a frame-of-reference difference, not an intelligence difference.

Caveat; all of the above is irrelevent if the people you are referring to are also older students with family responsibilities. But I'm just guessing that if they were, you wouldn't be getting this ditzy/unserious whatever it is vibe from them.

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