Roles of the parent.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Roles of the parent.
1094
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 3:29am
I think in the old days men use to tell women the what to do, or what not to do. Today we let other women tell us what is right for us. I have never seen two situations that are the same in any relationship. The roles are changing as we type right now. Women use to think it was worth it to spend as much time at home with their children as time would give them. However, that is not the case today. It is all very sad if you ask me because you have some men that are saying "I will stay home for the kids", and at the same time the women opt not too.I have three girls, the oldest is 8 and the youngest is 3 months , each child has a four yr space. Some parents need duel incomes. I think as children get older it is okay to get work outside the house, but as they are growing and learning new things I would like to see that for myself if I can. I have another year of college and then I will have to work, and I am not looking forward to it. The idea of being away from my children is scary to me. I find it hard to even let them go outside and play. However, I am getting better with it. Both my parents worked, and I recalled how much I wanted to be with my mom. I would have been happy just to go to Walmarts with her, but she never really had the time. It is not a matter of what is right or wrong, but what is the need of the family? Can a family make it on one check? That depends on the location, the home, car, and the life style that the parents want to have. Some could say if you want to be safe, you both have to pay because safe comes with a high price tag. Others could say different. The truth is stay at home moms are on the downfall due to the different types of families today. Is it bad or good, I do not know. However, I can tell you it is life.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 12:34pm

It is very difficult to do well. Make no mistake. I made the mistake of thinking it was easy in college. I took an acting class as a light diversion from a heavy courseload of science classes. I thought it would be an easy A amongst the struggling B's (and sometimes C's) of my hard-core science classes.

So very wrong. I practically flunked it because I simply...couldn't...act. There is something about the scientific POV (which I have, thus the classes and career) that makes it virtually impossible to convincingly act like anybody but oneself. The only characters I got remotely close to were the ones with a POV exactly like my own, which happened in about 2 or 3 script readings. And even then, I gave C- performances. Stepping into the shoes of somebody who has literally nothing in common with you is very difficult.

Think of all the horrible acting you've seen that actually makes it to TV or movies. There are people who acted well enough to beat out others in an audition (possibly of hundreds of competitors) yet they can't pull it off nearly as well as we've come to expect from actors ranging from ok to great. And these "meh" performances are from people who still do it well enough to get paid. Which means that you or I would be capable of a performance desribable only with a TOS violation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 12:40pm
It's considerably less dangerous than being a fireman. But it definately is difficult. Ask Steve Buscemi. He's an excellent character actor and was formerly NYFD. He even stepped back into his old job temporarily when 9/11 happened. He's given interviews about his transition from fireman to actor. There was a time he was doing both. (Being a fireman was his day job while he did off-off Broadway.) He said that being a fireman was physically and emotionally exhausting. But that being an actor- while less physically draining-required skills that were very difficult for him to get right. It wasn't easy and of his fellow firemen, he's the only one who made it past off-off Broadway. (He'd convinced some of his co-workers to join him on stage but none of them really had the chops.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 12:43pm
It makes sense if that is the attitude of your children. I am not going to give them a free ride. i will not pay for college if they have a C average. I had to pay for most of my college tuition. It hindered my experience. It did not make it better. I was already a responsible kid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 12:44pm

"I disagree that you and I have the same knowledge on the subject."

Umm, where did I say we have the same knowledge on the subject?

I am very, very glad for you that you will never have to explore alternatives. That's just a really good thing for everyone all around, I'd say.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 1:23pm

I'm off to a hockey tournament so I don't have time to give you the response I'd like but let me just say that your ignorance on this topic is scary to me. Just because your dh survived a negative situation in his education doesn't mean that there isn't damage occuring for many of our brightest students (and it doesn't meant that your dh didn't experience some damage himself.) I'd love to join you in your hostility in this topic because it sure would be fun to duke it out with the snarky you but I'm actually bothered by your attitude when you have an excellent chance of needing all the tools you can find to support your own children in the coming years.

Some of the "damage" that can occur when a student is not allowed to learn at an appropriate level and rate includes "depression, behavior problems, low academic achievement, low self-esteem, and dropping out of school." (Being Smart About Gifted Children, page 44, Dona J. Matthews and Joanne F. Foster.) Within the gifted online communities, there are parents whose children have manifested all sorts of behavioral, social, and physical problems related to the stress of not having their educational and intellectual needs met. Children can become self-destructive and withdrawn, completely disengage from school and learning altogether, and it isn't unusual to hear about a suicide attempt from time to time.

You just don't get it. And I don't have time to educate you.

"There is physical and psychological pain in being thwarted, discouraged, and diminished as a person. To have ability, to feel power you are never allowed to use, can become traumatic." – Genius Denied: How to Stop Wasting Our Brightest Young Minds, by Jan and Bob Davidson

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 1:29pm
You're probably right. It's probably me that has changed in the last 10 years. :) I still think that lower division courses are often just as good or better in community colleges as in 4 yr colleges. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 1:48pm

oh.my.gosh...*just* actors? acting is a very talented piece of work that i can't hold a candle to. ever. (i even tried in h.s. drama, fell flat on my face many times, lol).......what if your child comes to you and tells you she wants to be an actor? are you going to deny her interest because of your hard and less than valued opinion of it?

i am just puzzled and confused how you can pick and chose better jobs over others.....then go off and tell those of us who take pride in our children that we are taking it in to a point of arrogance. there's nothing wrong with pride and everything wrong with select favortism because your child feels she isn't living up to *your* expectations.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2005
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 1:49pm

I can only go by what you write and in your eagerness to dismiss any value from your family vacations, it's hardly my fault if I came to the conclusion that your family vacations lacked any real value.

I learned a great deal during my family's vacations and I don't know too many people who dismiss their family vacations to historical sites and destinations as worthless or uneducational. Hence, there's no reason for me to believe that historical destinations, in and of themselves, lack any educational value. Clearly the variable here is the family who went and in the case of your post, that would be your family.

No need to try to accuse me of jealousy over a family vacation you got nothing out of; clearly there's not much there to be jealous of.

Karen


"Terry manages to hand the bag off to Ruth Marie, who takes off in the most mincing sprint you have ever seen in your life. She does her best, but she runs like she's got a pink parasol in one hand and an inhaler in the other."


Miss Alli @ TelevisionWithoutPity, Survivor: Exile Island



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Karen

"Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 2:08pm

"What would a visit to Gettysburg teach a student nowadays that he wouldn't already know?"

Geographical place is a hook to hang the knowledge on. The memory of the place visited creates a location in the brain where facts about Gettysburg can be stored more holistically and so are less likely to be forgotten.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sat, 03-11-2006 - 2:23pm
oh please....i think TB3's feeling is an accurate one as there is just as much hype about places like the alamo in san antonio too. these are tourist attractions only and a disappointment if you hang your hats on the idea that your're going to learn sooo much more by seeing it irl than in depth from a textbook...the river walk (filled with lights, shops and restaurants along the canal) gathers much more interest and attention in san antonio than the alamo. ;)

 

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