Roles of the parent.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Roles of the parent.
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Tue, 03-07-2006 - 3:29am
I think in the old days men use to tell women the what to do, or what not to do. Today we let other women tell us what is right for us. I have never seen two situations that are the same in any relationship. The roles are changing as we type right now. Women use to think it was worth it to spend as much time at home with their children as time would give them. However, that is not the case today. It is all very sad if you ask me because you have some men that are saying "I will stay home for the kids", and at the same time the women opt not too.I have three girls, the oldest is 8 and the youngest is 3 months , each child has a four yr space. Some parents need duel incomes. I think as children get older it is okay to get work outside the house, but as they are growing and learning new things I would like to see that for myself if I can. I have another year of college and then I will have to work, and I am not looking forward to it. The idea of being away from my children is scary to me. I find it hard to even let them go outside and play. However, I am getting better with it. Both my parents worked, and I recalled how much I wanted to be with my mom. I would have been happy just to go to Walmarts with her, but she never really had the time. It is not a matter of what is right or wrong, but what is the need of the family? Can a family make it on one check? That depends on the location, the home, car, and the life style that the parents want to have. Some could say if you want to be safe, you both have to pay because safe comes with a high price tag. Others could say different. The truth is stay at home moms are on the downfall due to the different types of families today. Is it bad or good, I do not know. However, I can tell you it is life.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 6:36am

***You should inquire about the Zero Tolerance policies many schools have. We have ZTP in place for drugs/alcohol and for bullying. They can be surprisingly effective.***

Effective IF the students are caught.

***6th graders in the bathroom? Well, that can happen.***

Yes- it can. And in my experience- happens more than parents/admin care to admit.

***But I think children in elementary school can be effectively disciplined***

IF they are caught.

***and in high school, I just can't imagine many parents having enough knowledge to teach high school students. Can you teach an AP class? How about several in one year?***

Yes, actually. I could. One needn't know the material themselves front to back or have experience teaching it. One simply has to have the resources available on the subject and a willingness and creativity to figure out how to best impart that knowledge. In many cases AP courses are a great deal of self-teaching *anyway*.

***And when I think of peer pressure, I think High School. Yet, that's generally when Home Schooled students enter traditional school.***

Those who *do*.

***So, I can see how your view of bullying and peer pressure might warrant HS'ing during the Middle School years. But those are just a few short years. You probably have other reasons for HS'ing.***

Absolutely I do- but the issue that I was replying to was avoiding problems. The other reasons are mostly that I value the flexibility and feel that one on one instruction coupled with a great deal of child-led learning is a more effective method of education.

***And IMO there's no way even the HS'ing co-op can match the *resources* and socialization/academic/sports opportunities that traditional schools have.***

Oh absolutely it can! That's where community involvement comes into play. Things like sports, band, drama club, socialization etc. are ALL available outside of the public schools (assuming one lives in an area where this is available- which we do.) Admittedly this *would* be a concern for many rural homeschoolers.

***For us, the benefits of attending the traditional school far, far outweigh the few risks.***

Just like for us, the benefits of homeschooling far, far outweigh the few possible drawbacks. :) This is why it's great that we both have the choice as to how to best educate our children.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 6:52am
I agree.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 6:59am
we are a very rural area, all of our field trips require a bus ride of at least 30 minutes, some up to an hour.
bowling is no more of a time drain than any other activity they do in pe - they do it during thier pe class. personally i feel pe for high school students is a time drain and takes up credits that could be better used elsewhere unfortunately it is a requirment for graduation - i think even homeschooling parents are required to do pe are they not?
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 6:59am
<> This statement reflects your lack of knowledge wrt homeschooling resources. My 6 yo dd is an elite gymnast and has never had to get involved in the school to be involved in her sport. My 13 yo dd played on a competative traveling volleyball team. They played numerous games against schools and managed to have a 9-5 record and place well in two tournaments. I know you didn't ask about other extra curriculars but here you go....my 10 yo dd takes piano from a homeschool student who has been homeschooled her whole school career. She has gotten several offers to private universities for full ride music scholarships. The resources are there no matter how much you wish they weren't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 7:21am
while we are certainly not what i would consider poor, if i were to homeschool there is no way we could afford to take the kids on huge field trips to dc or the alamo or gettysburg anymore than the public school could. our field trips would be pretty much the same ones the kids in school go to, the zoo, the museum, the little farmer, etc....but we are able to do those as a family now, homeschooling isnt the only way to to those.
and while i can see where the flexibility issue might be a draw to some, i just havent found working within the school structure to be that big of an issue for our family, because we still have to work with the structure of my husbands job, and that is really more limiting than school.
i think everyone would like to go thru life only doing what they want to, when they want to - but i think that is what some think of when they think of homeschooling vs the real world that we were discussing earlier. there is going to come a time in everyones life when they no longer get to set their own schedule, be it school or college or work. i think homeschooling is a good alternative if one is willing and able to do it, i dont really even care if they do it well, it does not have any impact on me, but i dont see it as something that produces any better than any other educational opportunity - i think education is determined in large part by those who are being educated, if one wants to learn one will, if not they wont.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 7:23am

I know that in sports if you are talking about scholarships, the scouts are everywhere --for the public school kids. Do your kids have that same kind of exposure? I guess it may depend on your area and how prevalent homeschooling is there. Around here, not so much. Our schools are very good, so less people do it unless it is for religious reasons. There are 1-2 families that I know of around here that homeschool but that is about it.

In terms of sports, many kids do traveling sports teams. Mine have and they are not in high school yet. There are plenty of AAU teams out there, but I don't know if they get the same exposure from scouts etc that a solid career with a Varsity high school team would get.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 7:29am

***Definitely, creativity and flexibility are important. But I would prefer a teacher with years of experience in the field so that my children are taught *correctly.****

And just how is something taught "correctly", in your opinion? So long as the information gets across- is there really a "right" and "wrong" way of teaching it? So long as the information itself is correct that one is teaching- IMO there is no correct/incorrect *way* to teach it.

*** The colleges put in writing that they are more than open to admitting the HS'ed child, but I wonder what the stats really are, especially at the better colleges.***

Well- obviously the stats are going to show that homeschoolers are still very much in the minority- but here are a few interesting articles... If I come across specific stats for specific colleges I'll post them.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1571/is_33_18/ai_91475071
http://www.beliefnet.com/story/40/story_4016_1.html
http://www.stanfordalumni.org/news/magazine/2000/novdec/articles/homeschooling.html

***That pretty much sums up why I would never homeschool!***

Personally I prefer the flexibility that provides. I'd rather my kid get in their physical education when they're wanting to do so and their math when they've settled down a bit rather than when someone else says "it's time for..."

***I just don't see how even the HS'ing co-ops can match the facilities, coaching staff, resources and variety of seasonal sports as do the public schools. Sports are almost as important to us as academics. How will you get your children involved in sports?***

There are MANY many sports leagues in the community that are not tied to the public schools- through the recreation centers, community centers, local gyms etc.

***The fact remains, the public school student has none of these distractions.***

Neither does the homeschooled student- which was my point. If a WOHM manages to get these things done and still attend to her WOH day- why would these things have to distract a homeschooling parent? Further, they are the distraction of the parent, if anything, not the homeschooled student.

***They are rigidly scheduled. I think structure, routine and discipline are good things.***

So do I, but with far less rigidity. I think that moderation is a good thing. I want my children to learn to be self starters and to be responsible for their own time management. Traditional schooling does not teach that adequately IMO.

***Will your children go to any traditional school before college?***

Maybe, maybe not. It depends largely on what we feel is best for them at the time.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 7:35am

The music scholarship is one example of homeschoolers applying for scholarships without the exposure from a school.

Our kids play sports in schools and get exposure to scouts that way. My dd that takes gymnastics can try out for scholarships. There are other ways to get exposure for scholarships. Several of the schools we played had coaches comment on my dd's athletic ability. If a kid has talent, there are ways to get exposure. My kids will get exposure the "traditional" way though, since they will attend highschool in a public school.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 7:39am

..... I think PE ought to be involved in some way, (we are a society plagued by sedentary lives and obesity- we need as much physical activity as we can get in ;) but I think the way it's handled is ineffective at *best*.

How does one get the students to and from the bowling alley, play their game and still be within the class period time allotment? Is it an exceptionally long class period?

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 7:42am

:) Around here we have a community band, theatre club, astronomy club, volleyball, basketball, swimming league, softball, football, etc. that our kids will be able to get involved with if they so choose ;) Resources are often there but unless one has reason to look for them they may think they don't exist.

Wytchy

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