Roles of the parent.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
Roles of the parent.
1094
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 3:29am
I think in the old days men use to tell women the what to do, or what not to do. Today we let other women tell us what is right for us. I have never seen two situations that are the same in any relationship. The roles are changing as we type right now. Women use to think it was worth it to spend as much time at home with their children as time would give them. However, that is not the case today. It is all very sad if you ask me because you have some men that are saying "I will stay home for the kids", and at the same time the women opt not too.I have three girls, the oldest is 8 and the youngest is 3 months , each child has a four yr space. Some parents need duel incomes. I think as children get older it is okay to get work outside the house, but as they are growing and learning new things I would like to see that for myself if I can. I have another year of college and then I will have to work, and I am not looking forward to it. The idea of being away from my children is scary to me. I find it hard to even let them go outside and play. However, I am getting better with it. Both my parents worked, and I recalled how much I wanted to be with my mom. I would have been happy just to go to Walmarts with her, but she never really had the time. It is not a matter of what is right or wrong, but what is the need of the family? Can a family make it on one check? That depends on the location, the home, car, and the life style that the parents want to have. Some could say if you want to be safe, you both have to pay because safe comes with a high price tag. Others could say different. The truth is stay at home moms are on the downfall due to the different types of families today. Is it bad or good, I do not know. However, I can tell you it is life.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 7:53am
i agree it is very ineffectual, and im sorry but if a kid isnt physically active by high school i really doubt anything they learn in pe class is going to change that. having to choose between pe and calculus shouldnt even be an issue - but it is.
they kids are bussed over or walk to the bowling alley, it is 2 blocks from school. our school is on a block system, there classes are 1:45 minutes each.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 8:05am

when i look at my daughters schedule for next year there is no way i would be able to teach her the classes she is taking. i have to give you credit, you must be really smart. to be able to teach pre-calculus, calculus, spanish 3, and ap biology - no way. i might be able to handle english and contemporary world issues, but i couldnt give her the differing opinons she will get in contemporary world issues that she will get by taking it with a group of other people.

the one thing i find interesting about some homeschoolers is they want to take their kids to the public school for things like band and sports which if i school has problems these are normally the activities where you will find it the most because of the peer pressure and competition involved in those activities. we do have one homeschooling family here who sends their son to the public school for the upper level science classes
Jennie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 8:07am

***while we are certainly not what i would consider poor, if i were to homeschool there is no way we could afford to take the kids on huge field trips to dc or the alamo or gettysburg anymore than the public school could.***

Really? Even though you would no longer have to be paying for costs associated with the public school? You don't take any family vacations now? Of course, if you're across the country it would be a bigger deal to go to DC or other eastern attractions than it would for those who live within a fair driving distance. We live about 4hrs from Gettysburg. We have family about an hour from there. Such a trip would be very inexpensive for us. Likewise with DC. Aren't there any historical or educational areas of interest anywhere near where you live or where you have family?

***and while i can see where the flexibility issue might be a draw to some, i just havent found working within the school structure to be that big of an issue for our family, because we still have to work with the structure of my husbands job, and that is really more limiting than school.***

He doesn't have time he can schedule off? I admit we are very lucky in that DH receives 'earned time' and can basically take off whenever he chooses. (Although the frequent 3am phone calls and sporadic 48hr workdays do tend to make up for that... LOL) Around here schools are very adamant that students not take family vacations during the school year. They of course have to *permit* it, but they are not in favor of it and the homework they tend to send with the child proves that point. I, for one, do not want to take a trip to Hoover Dam in the summer when the kids would be on vacation LOL ;) (One example of the benefits of homeschooling flexibility in regard to trips).

***i think everyone would like to go thru life only doing what they want to, when they want to - but i think that is what some think of when they think of homeschooling vs the real world that we were discussing earlier.***

Oh I'm sure they would- but what does that have to do with homeschooling? We aren't talking about doing only what the student wants only when they want to do it. We are talking more of having a set list for the day/week/month- whatever, and the student managing their time responsibly so as to meet their requirements- something that I think is far more representative of the 'real world' than math at 10, english at 11, lunch at 12, etc. I don't mean to say that I advocate *full* control over a students schedule being in the hands of the student- but I do feel that a more flexible learning environment *is* a benefit to many if not most students. Granted, some *do* fare better in a more rigidly structured environment, and those are the ones who probably do tend to do better in a traditional school setting.

***i think education is determined in large part by those who are being educated, if one wants to learn one will, if not they wont.***

To an extent- yes- but the opportunities presented have a lot to do with what one is able to learn, wouldn't you say? A child may have the *capability* of learning advanced calculus, but if the material is never presented, or is never presented in a manner in which they relate and absorb it- it's all but useless IMO.

Wytchy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 8:13am
we have some of those things around here, there are of course community sports for younger children, but once the kids hit middle school to participate in sports it must be done thru the schools. i have never heard of a homeschooling football team. now i did hear of a homeschooling basketball team in texas but they were prohibited from playing because thier coaches were refusing to abide by the rules that stated how many hours per week a team could practice, they were holding practices for like 3 hours a day.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 8:15am

My kid would do horribly if I tried to homeschool her. It works for some, but it's not an inherently better teaching system. While flexibility is a benefit for some, and a stated advantage of homeschooling, for others it's a liability and they do better with a school system's rigidity.

Before dd came along I could never have fathomed how somebody could do better in a rigid system than a flexible one. But dd seems to thrive on the rigidity of school. I could sort of simulate some rigidity at home (in fact, I've had to just to adapt to her), but I can't re-create the essence of "school" that seems to put her in the right frame of mind to learn academics.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 8:18am
question for you, what happens if you have a child who doesnt ever want to do say math? i know we ran into this to an extent when my oldest was in montessori school, there were some students who would never choose to do a particular subject. in montessori they would team that child up with another who was interested in the subject to show they how fun it could be. i would think even homeschoolers would eventually have to say okay it it now time to buckle down. my middle daughter would be my challenge in that she would want to spend all of her time in "pe" :)
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 8:20am
It is certainly more effort to do it outside of the public schools then. One of those it can be done, but it is a lot more effort. Maybe not where you live though, but around here I'm sure it would be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 8:24am

Even though you would no longer have to be paying for costs associated with the public school>>

What costs are associated with attending a public school other than fees for athletics etc that you would be paying for anyway if your child wanted to do them. Costs of AAU teams are extremely expensive. Around here, BBALL at at 8th grade level is about 800-1000 PER SEASON PER TEAM. High school fees are much lower, somewhere around 200-250 per season per team.

Other than taxes which you have to pay whether your child uses the school or not, there are less fees involved in public schools than you think.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 8:27am
School teams are not the only way but they are the most popular way. There are plenty of 'rec' teams run through towns although those are not competitive at all. There are plenty of AAU teams out there, which are extremely expensive and for the better athletes. Most of the AAU kids play on school teams, though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Mon, 03-13-2006 - 8:30am

um,yes it is......are we really *teaching* something though by shielding our children away from that in elementary/middle school or are we just shoving it aside with hopes that my child will *never* encounter bullys and peer pressure?

fwiw, my oldest is at a vulnerable age to bullys, peer pressure, wrong kids etc. and she's only 8. it got to a point where i sat down with the school principal and even requested a classroom change because i didn't want her pressured by these wrong kids and all.....the answer was no, not only because it was against school policy but because that message would have *not* taught my child how to stand up for herself, how not to deal with pressures that will only increase with age etc. i'm happy to report that she has come a long way in the seven months she's been in school this year. she is a friendly kid who stands up to kids who make wrong choices and enjoys friendships with kids who share her similar interests and company.

 

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