SAH doesn't support change,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
SAH doesn't support change,
3723
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 4:58pm

"SAH doesn't support change, it supports going backwards to the 1950's,"

Statement in a post below.

I wholeheartedly disagree. To me, SAH is a choice. How is that going back to the 1950s, when a lot of women didn't have much of a choice.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 4:43pm
For many kids, it seems, the reward IS more important than the education, which is why they stop the targeted behavior when the reward is no longer offered. Or why, for some kids, even activities they once enjoyed become drudgery when they are linked to awards.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 4:47pm
Not any of the kids I know personally, which is not to say it doesn't happen at all, but I would need to know the circumstances in that instance to know why. Were the rewards excessive? Was it due to the rewards or other parenting techniques? I'm not ready to blame occassional extras in modersation to kids being so dependent on them that they will quit if they are not offered.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 4:49pm
Well, please accept my apologies again. I am beginning to see how these message boards can get the best of people's emotions. I was a bit sad to see that no one posted anything about the 5 year anniversary of 9/11. But, I have to remember that it wasn't as personal an event for everyone else.
Avatar for taylormomma
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 4:52pm
Yes, some people are by necessity less able to take risks like that.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2003
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 4:54pm
That's not what she said. She was questioning why you would paint a mental picture that had nothing to do with the words being read.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 4:57pm
Some kids will go ahead and read the ten books for the pizza coupon. Some will actually read books at their correct reading level, fill in the sheet, and get the coupon. Those are the kids the program targets. But of those kids, most of them would probably have read the books anyway. A few wouldn't have, those are the ones the program helps. Other kids who are challenging themselves by reading more difficult material, might think, "No way can I read all six Harry Potter books by then, plus four more, so I will read ten easier books." The easier books get read, Harry Potter sits on the shelf until the program is over. That kid is not getting served well by the incentive program. The kid who hates to read is maybe going to read ten books and be miserable. At the end of the program, he isn't going to like reading any more than he already does. The program was a short-term success, but failed to influence long term behavior. Other kids love to read but hate to fill in forms, so don't bother. Those kids are taught that filling in forms and gettting coupons matters more than reading the books. Maybe it does in life in the long run, who knows? A few kids, their parents will go ahead and sign the forms that the kid read the book whether he did or not. A few other parents don't care and don't sign.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-1997
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 5:00pm
Actually, I tend NOT to post about things that matter most to me, 9-11 included. This is not my real life, and it doesn't always reflect what matters most to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 5:08pm

"You wouldn't have had to know about her mom for your post to come across as being written by a heartless bitch."

By golly, is that a TOS violation?

I didn't say it was an excuse for *her* to consume more calories. I was speaking generally. Did I actually personalize that post?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 5:09pm
So, then why the need to bring up your mother?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Sat, 09-23-2006 - 5:33pm

So the program does help some kids? As for the Harry Potter thing, it is based on pages...you can read a 50 page book and have it count as 1 book, or you can read a 150 page book and have it count as 3 books.

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So what? At least he has more exposure to reading. At least he was given more of a chance to like it. If he still hates it after that, ok then. It's not like he was going to love it if the program hadn't been there and he just didn't read.

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No, if those kids are not interested in participating in the program or receiving the rewards, they don't have to participate. Why would they? Participation is not in any way mandatory...which is why it is an EXTRA.

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THAT is what I'm talking about. That's not the programs fault...that is faulty parenting. The children who have parents willing to do that are much more likely IMO to grow up with a sense of entitlement than the kids who EARNED the little extras.

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