SAH doesn't support change,
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SAH doesn't support change,
| Sat, 08-26-2006 - 4:58pm |
"SAH doesn't support change, it supports going backwards to the 1950's,"
Statement in a post below.
I wholeheartedly disagree. To me, SAH is a choice. How is that going back to the 1950s, when a lot of women didn't have much of a choice.

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i experienced the opposite refusal--my youngest would never take a bottle, and refused cups and solids, as well, for a year and a half. i woh ft through 18 months of exclusive breastfeeding--no picnic, but also nothing that i would prop up as a cross to bear: it was my choice, and one that i made gladly. does the fact that i did not suffer as you still do from this horror that beset us both make me a bad mommy?
2-3 oz was probably all your child was getting from the tap at the same intervals at that time, too. while babies will take those monster 6-8 oz bottles of formula, they don't need an equivalent amount of breastmilk. as i've said, misinformation about pumping is the biggest problem most people have with it.
Most of the early marriages in my family have stayed together, too. My POV comes not just from the pain of those marriages that have failed, but also the struggle that most of the young couples faced even without divorce.
Ultimately, young marriages and being young parents can have great pay-offs. My parents were only in their 40s when all their kids were grown and the grandkids started to arrive. They have enjoyed their semi-retirement years immensely. But they went through some hard times in their early years to get there.
"i experienced the opposite refusal--my youngest would never take a bottle, and refused cups and solids, as well, for a year and a half. i woh ft through 18 months of exclusive breastfeeding--no picnic, but also nothing that i would prop up as a cross to bear: it was my choice, and one that i made gladly. does the fact that i did not suffer as you still do from this horror that beset us both make me a bad mommy?"
horror? suffer as I still do? I'm not sure what you're talking about. It took four months for DS to learn to transfer milk effectively, during which time I nursed, gave DS ebm in a bottle, and pumped every 2 1/2 hours to maintain my supply. It wasn't a horror, only something I couldn't have done if I WOH. At 13 months he's still nursing and has never been sick. So I'm not sure how I'm supposed to be suffering here, but as I said before, I won't risk the bottle preference with a second child. It was just a hassle since I didn't intend to formula feed and didn't want to pump exclusively.
I'm curious how you managed to feed your youngest if he/she wouldn't take a bottle or cup and you WOHFT. I'm familiar with reverse cycling, but I didn't know a baby would/could go 8 hours or more during the day with nothing to drink. Or were you able to take nursing breaks from work?
"2-3 oz was probably all your child was getting from the tap at the same intervals at that time, too. while babies will take those monster 6-8 oz bottles of formula, they don't need an equivalent amount of breastmilk. as i've said, misinformation about pumping is the biggest problem most people have with it."
Although breast milk is more thoroughly utilized than formula, from my understanding babies still need at least 24 ounces of it per day. Even when DS was refusing to nurse and I was pumping 8-10 times per day I never produced more than 18 ounces from pumping, whereas once DS was able to nurse exclusively I produced more (as evidenced by DS growing at the same rate without any supplementation.)
Believe me, I'm not knocking the pump. It was my closest friend for about 4 months. But I would just as soon not have to use it again.
You make it sound as if the worst consequence of divorce is the financial one.If the average child had to chose between having both parents in the home and nike shoes for life, I think most kids would pick having both parents. Dollars aren't necessarily the first thing on the radar screen.
There are varying definitions on what a decent upbringing means, that's for sure.
neither of my children did anything that resembled reverse cycling. when my breasts started to feel full, i went to the dc to feed my child, who would be then just starting to feel hungry. this happened anywhere from 2-5 times a day. the daycare that we used the majority of the time was across the street from my office.
no doubt your refusal problem would have been far easier to work through woh ft than mine was, so i don't believe you when you say you *couldn't* have done it. wouldn't have wanted to; regret, resent having had to; whatever led you to scold me--it's an individual response, not something that can't be coped with, should be depicted as likely rather than merely marginally possible--just because you would rather it had played out differently.
"no doubt your refusal problem would have been far easier to work through woh ft than mine was, so i don't believe you when you say you *couldn't* have done it. wouldn't have wanted to; regret, resent having had to; whatever led you to scold me--it's an individual response, not something that can't be coped with, should be depicted as likely rather than merely marginally possible--just because you would rather it had played out differently."
And how would I have worked through the bottle preference problem in a teaching position where I couldn't have nursed and pumped every 2 1/2 hours during the day? In fact, we only had one teacher in the twelve years I taught high school who even attempted to breastfeed after her 12 weeks off--and her baby had no trouble going back and forth between bottle and breast. After about 3 months of pumping only during her lunch break and conference period, she quit. The day care used formula during the day and she was able to continue nursing before and after work until her baby was about 8 months old, at which time her DD gradually started refusing to nurse altogether and she went to straight formula. When she had her second child she took about 15 months off of teaching and nursed exclusively.
FTR, I didn't scold you, just asked you not to downplay the problem of bottle preference for those of us who have experienced it--as I am not downplaying your problem of bottle rejection.
she didn't. apparently i confused you by using the majority as a point of reference when stating that she is in the minority. i get the impression you don't understand what we are discussing either. she is saying that her supply was inadquate--not that she couldn't get it into the pump. and she seems to be saying both that pumping diminished her supply, and at the same time that she, at her doctor's and lc's recommendation, later used it as a method to increase her supply--something that i'm pointing out is contradictory.
so is your argument that there is some physcial deformity that prevents some breasts from expressing milk under any circumstances but nursing?
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