SAH doesn't support change,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
SAH doesn't support change,
3723
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 4:58pm

"SAH doesn't support change, it supports going backwards to the 1950's,"

Statement in a post below.

I wholeheartedly disagree. To me, SAH is a choice. How is that going back to the 1950s, when a lot of women didn't have much of a choice.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 2:35pm
I agree; otherwise you're just gambling with your kids' well being. Also, being prepared work-wise can let you rest easy and enjoy your time as a SAHM much more, I would think.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 2:39pm

I don't think that's a fair criticism; money is more important to some parents than to others, but for most of us it's still pretty important. To think so doesn't imply one has materialistic values. The COL around here is such that it costs a tremendous amount just to get into Walmart or Target once in a while, let alone brand name items.

Also, we're not talking about luxury items versus having both parents together, are we? In a divorce, those aren't realy the choices.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 2:42pm

do you really want me to speculate about how it could have worked? do i really want to listen to the litany of specific and speculative details that you would use to nitpick my speculation to death? probably not.

i'll raise your impossiblity and ancedote with several of my own. i come from a family of teachers, and my dh and many of our friends and neighobrs are teachers. among those who have had children, i know a very few who never tried to breastfeed, some who pumped at work, and a vast majority who managed to breastfeed as long as they wanted to with or without the pump. teaching generally isn't an espeically pump- or in many ways even family-friendly profession, but it isn't impossible to make it work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 3:03pm
No, you don't ever know what will happen. It's true that it's never too late to learn. But IMO everyone's goal should be to do their best to get as much education as they can before they have children. It makes everything else so much easier.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 3:08pm
If my main goal in life were to be around for all my kids' firsts, I probably wouldn't even put them into school. But since it's not really all about me and what I'm "missing", I choose to be apart from them several hours each weekday. I figure they're not missing anything at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2004
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 3:13pm
There's no comparison, really, when you live in a high COL area like me, but if I had that many kids, $500 would last me 2 or 3 weeks at most, and I don't even buy a lot of steaks or Hot Pockets or any of the expensive stuff. And the cooking gets to be as much of a chore as the shopping. One good thing, though, is that as they get older, they can help out a lot with cooking.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 3:24pm
Because it just hasn't been hard for the women you work with. Just because statistics are high doesn't mean your circle is going to have a ton of problems. There are ways of dealing with it; however, it's not effective for everyone. The percentage of women who quit nursing is high in all cases; however, it is even higher for working mothers because of the added obstacles that come from having to pump & nurse. Those methods of keeping up supply do not work for everyone, and if they did, then the number of working mothers who wean early wouldn't be as high as it is and wouldn't be VASTLY higher than the number of SAHMs who wean early. Obviously, breastfeeding isn't as easy and as doable. Once again, why don't you go tell all the mothers who quit early how easy it is to breastfeed and how all you have to do is blah blah blah. See what they have to say about it, rather than taking my word for it, or Babytalk's, or the CDC's. Regardless, according to the AAP, milk from the breast is better than milk from the bottle, not by a whole lot but still. And depending on how long the expressed milk has been stored, it can have almost no antibody benefits.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 3:25pm
Every parent is going to miss a first or two, but that's no reason to put yourself in a position where both parents are going to miss a lot of firsts. Obviously if one stays home and the other works, one will miss more first than the other. However, at least one parent will be there for some of them...perhaps even recording and taking pictures so dad can see.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 3:30pm
Ok, just because you and women you know have a certain experience, that doesn't mean it's the norm. Statistics from Babytalk magazine, the CDC, and various other places suggest that women who have problems nursing, especially when they have to pump, ARE in the majority. Did you miss the post about the CDC's 2003 immunization report? Only 36% of babies are breastfed still at six months. Did those other 64% just quit because they were selfish? Or could it be that they have problems? Either way, those who quit early are in the majority. Only 10% of working women still breastfed at 6 months. That means those who quit early were in the majority. Did they all just HATE breastfeeding, or did they have problems? Either way, they are in the majority. I'm not going to mention as a possibilty something that is indeed a likely obstacle. If these obstacles weren't so likely the numbers wouldn't be so VASTLY different between working moms still nursing at six months and SAHMs still nursing at six months, and the number of babies overall still getting mama milk at six months wouldn't be so low. So once again go tell all those 90% of working moms who quit early, and the 64% of all moms who quit early, how they are not in the majority.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Tue, 08-29-2006 - 3:32pm
Pumping is more likely to decrease supply than increase it. It's not that EVERY person who works and has supply problems would have had supply problems anyway. If that were true, then the number of SAHMs who breastfeed past six months wouldn't be so much higher than the number of WOHMs who do it.

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