SAH doesn't support change,
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SAH doesn't support change,
| Sat, 08-26-2006 - 4:58pm |
"SAH doesn't support change, it supports going backwards to the 1950's,"
Statement in a post below.
I wholeheartedly disagree. To me, SAH is a choice. How is that going back to the 1950s, when a lot of women didn't have much of a choice.

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I don't care why they do it. Whether they plan to or not, they help dispell the myth that women just quit when they have kids.
It's not bringing home a paycheck. It's living your life so that employers know they can expect the same thing from you they can a man in the same position. Not that I don't like my paycheck. It's just not about that. It's about striving to be accepted as just as responsible as men.
I think you are being unrealistic. The cost of living is more than rent and food. What about transportation? If you have a car, you have insurance, plus gas. I have a very fuel efficient car and I'm spending about $200/month in gas right now and I have a 20 mile commute. What about health insurance? If you and your dh divorce, your dh can be ordered to cover his children on his health insurance, but he can't carry an ex-spouse. And since you won't be working FT, most employers don't offer insurance to PT staff, which means that you have to buy it outrightm which can be very pricey, hundreds a month. And what about life insurance and disability insurance? Then there's stuff like books and school expenses. Plus incidentals, like buying new clothes for the kids when they outgrow the old ones.
I have a hard time believing that a single mom can support a family on $1300/month, no matter how cheap the rent is, unless it's free because you move back in with parents and they take on your responsibilities. There's a big difference between an 18 year old single person making it on $1300/month and a family making it on $1300/month. Heck, I make 50K a year and I don't think I could support myself and my kids on my salary.
Susan
"Their kids don't turn out different."
You've cited some studies of elementary school children--do you know of any research that looks at the behavior of teenaged and adult children of parents who SAH? (drug use, sexual activity, grades, education levels, etc.)
None of the research you've provided has proven they don't turn out different. I don't have research that says they do, but since you're the one making this claim the burden is on you to prove the point.
Yes and the stats show that the group taht throws in the towel fastest is the under 21 group. Just because there have been no divorces in your family doesn't mean that the stats showing that a higher prcentage of young people's marriages end in divorce are wrong. I have a 17 year old and I would do almost ANYTHING to prevent her from getting married at her age. She lacks the maturity to make those kinds of decisions and to fully underatsn what the implication of marriage and babies at her age are. And overall, she is quite mature about some other things, but marriage at 17 or 18? No way.
Susan
My doctor advised pumping during nursing. Pump one side while the baby nurses the other. I did it on the weekends to keep up my supply and it was amazing how full I'd be by pumping time on Monday. It didn't take long to increase my milk supply this way.
He did not recommend pumping after nursing because then you'd get all hind milk and baby needs both fore milk and hind milk.
Do you really think that is the reason? Because most of my friends in Westchester County NY (Terrytown) also have the status symbol thing going on with their NYC Dr. husbands, same with North NJ (Short Hills/Chatham area) as well as my three lawyer friends in Chicago who now stay at home because of "status" - you know it proves how well their husbands are doing at their respective firms. My friend's mother in Main Line Philly made it very clear that it is appropriate to stay at home so as to further your DH's business (you know buy the jag, people think you are worth the money mentality). I guess I have seen this attitude in many upper class societies. I wonder in the Philly Cotillion society how many women are working?
In most communities I see it as a badge of honor that the wives don't have to work - a symbol of financial prowess - this has not been limited to my time in Cleveland.
Sabina
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
"Their kids don't turn out different."
Have you read this study?
http://www.uncg.edu/eco/cjruhm/papers/maternal6
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