SAH doesn't support change,
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SAH doesn't support change,
| Sat, 08-26-2006 - 4:58pm |
"SAH doesn't support change, it supports going backwards to the 1950's,"
Statement in a post below.
I wholeheartedly disagree. To me, SAH is a choice. How is that going back to the 1950s, when a lot of women didn't have much of a choice.

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Is it similiar to the feeling I got reading the exchanges in this thread about pumping, suck-power, and tongues?
In another context, it could have pomise, but in that conversation.....<<<>>>>.
I think I would recommend to my DDs that they live with their BF for a while before considering marriage, if they wanted to marry young. DH and I lived together for over 4 years before we were married. Our lives hardly changed at all afterwards (except for me changing my name, and joining our bank account) But our day to day existence was the same.
Those 4 years gave us the chance to find out if we could live with each other and stand each other for a long period of time ;)
That's why I'm all for living in sin before marriage. lol
First off, there's a big difference between making 70K and $1300 month, which is what the poster claimed she could support she and her child on. Also, I assume that your husband has employer paid health insurance. The poster claimed she could support herself on PT work, which means no insurance. I don't care where you live. I think it woudl be next to impossible to be 100% self supporting (no help from the govt, family, etc) on $1300/month of PT income, plus go to school.
Susan
Great point. Attitudes about responsibility at home have to change along with roles in the workplace. And this can be such a chicken-and-egg. Women are still socialized generally speaking to assume more responsibility at home - whether they also work or not. Plus, the thorny crown of "choice" often means to men "Well, you are *choosing* to work, so it is up to you to figure out how to get both you job and the rest of your "job" done - not my problem." Extreme, but illustrative.
It can be hard to go against that ingrained role, though, and simply refuse to carry that domestic burden. Let's face it. In part, women have to put down some of the load so that men *can* pick it up.
>>You're doing fine; hope you're better soon. <<
thanks, got a lot on my mind and i'm debating as a distraction. that isn't always the best way to debate though LOL.
>>But if it's true that women get bent out of shape over earning more than their husbands, I have to wonder what that says about feminism being defined as the right of each woman to choose whatever she wants. <<
i don't know that the problem is just with the income though. if that were the case then *any* marriage taht has the wife as primary/equal breadwinner would be in trouble. but the studies indicate that it is women with *careers* whose marriage seem to falter more so than other marriages.
there is a theory out there about marriages that i almost agree with. ina nutshell, the marraige must be balanced. the spouses can't be equally anything...equally assertive, equally passive, equally in love. one should be the giver, the other the taker (within reason, of course). so perhaps the issue with two career minded spouses is teh assertivness, agressivness, competitiveness etc taht goes along with a career. the two are in competition with eachother. the support for each other may not be there.
thats just a theory though, and food for thought.
i do think taht the feminist movement made great changes in every aspect of society...that includes men. i think at first your idea about men not caring too much about the changes to their own lives, but after a while men began to realize that the pendulum has swung...and right at their own worth. just because they were a little slow on the uptake doesn't negate the effect its had on them.
Personally, I'd rather remove my fingernails with a butter knife than scrapbook. If you like it, then more power to you. Each to their own. That's kind of the point of this whole debate, don't you think?
BTW, I have lots of WOH friends who are avid scrapbookers. Scrapbooking and WOH are not mutually exculsive.
Susan
http://www.eric.ed.gov/ERICWebPortal/Home.portal?_nfpb=true&ERICExtSearch_Operator_2=and&ERICExtSearch_SearchType_0=kw&ERICExtSearch_SearchValue_2=&ERICExtSearch_SearchValue_1=drug+use&ERICExtSearch_Operator_1=and&ERICExtSearch_SearchType_1=kw&ERICExtSearch_PubDate_To=2007&ERICExtSearch_SearchValue_0=maternal+employment&ERICExtSearch_SearchType_2=kw&ERICExtSearch_SearchCount=2&ERICExtSearch_PubDate_From=0&_pageLabel=ERICSearchResult&newSearch=true&rnd=1156900323881&searchtype=advanced
Hope that works. The AskEric database is great for these kinds of searches. Use the advnaced search page and put in all the multiple terms you want.
Well, I have two boys and statistics say that married men live longer and are happier.
I'm just not sure I want my DD to get married.
Maybe I *am* for gay-marriage afterall and my boys can marry other boys while my DD stays single :-)
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