SAH doesn't support change,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
SAH doesn't support change,
3723
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 4:58pm

"SAH doesn't support change, it supports going backwards to the 1950's,"

Statement in a post below.

I wholeheartedly disagree. To me, SAH is a choice. How is that going back to the 1950s, when a lot of women didn't have much of a choice.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 3:34am
I don't need to have an experience as an educated working woman to be able to talk to other educated working women about the obstacles they had to overcome with their breastfeeding relationships, to read the research and statistics, to educate myself about breastfeeding and things that can work against a successful nursing relationship, or to be capable of learning. If you're trying to say that, because I do not have a degree or a full-time career, I cannot possibly know anything about how that can affect breastfeeding, it's a real long-shot. I don't have to have my own personal experience as a nursing career woman to be able to hear waht others have to say, research, educate myself about the problems nursing women face, etc. Even if I did have a personal experience as a nursing career woman, it wouldn't change what statistics and research have shown, nor would it suddenly mean that breastfeeding is simple for everyone who attempts it or that working never affects a breastfeeding relationship. Instead of assuming I know nothing about those hardships because I do not work full-time, why don't you prove those hardships don't exist with something other than "Well, gee, everyone I know had an easy time with it!" Give me some real statistics and research, rather than just acting with a "What would you know? You SAH!" kind of attitude. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 3:38am
Yes, I'm sure one day, perhaps as I'm laying on my death bed, rather than being grateful I was there for as many moments of the lives of my loved ones, I'm going to wish I had spent more time at an office.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 3:48am

"Then I think that you are vastly different from most 18 year olds I know."

Well, that doesn't surprise me being that I'm 21. :P However, yes, you are right if you mean that I'm different from most people my age that you know. Yes, I'm very different. Most people don't sign closing papers 2 weeks after their 20th birthday (or 2 months before it, in my husband's case)!

"Lots of young people that age tend to suffer from "I" problems"

I totally agree. I once suffered from that. My life now revolves around a little monkey who will probably soon learn to climb up to and swing from my chandalier.... And while I do appreciate what others have to say about how to civilize my little monkey, I've learned to just listen to what others have to say, nod my head & smile, consider it, but do what I think will work best for us.

"By the time they reach 21-22 and they get a taste of the real world, their perspective broadens a bit."

I respect the opinions and advice of others; however, at the end of the day, I do and believe what feels right in my heart. I got a taste of the real world before my 21st birthday though. The only thing that changed on that day was my being able to order a margarita with dinner. I was getting little tastes of the real world before I even graduated, and I got a big helping of it at 19 as I lay screaming at a rather rude group of nurses that I'd push and breathe the way that came natural to me (DAMN IT!) and ten minutes later when the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen was placed into my arms. ;)

"your opinions and outlook will have changed. "

My opinions and outlook have changed a lot in the past year....and even moreso in the past 5. I can't imagine who I'll be in 10-15. However, I know who I am right now is a person who is just trying to do what I feel is best for my son and much more concerned with keeping faith in the man I love than proving I could live without him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 3:52am
You can make quite a bit running deliveries, selling Mary Kay...even being an exotic dancer if that's your bag. Any of those activities would only be temporary until I got a better career going on. However, the point is there is money to be made, and I'd do what I had to do if it came down to it. I live in an expensive area right now; however, my two home towns (yeah, I'm weird; I have no one true home) are very low-cost areas. I survived off of $600 there, then made $1000 last here in this high-priced city for two for quite a while, so I think I could make $1300 (plus child support and alimony) last me back there pretty well. However, that's only IF my husband runs away...and I have faith that he will not. If I didn't, I wouldn't have married him. The point is you do what you gotta do, and if it comes down to it, I will do what I gotta do to keep food in my son's belly. ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 3:54am
I don't think there is a magic age, really. I agree with 18 being the age at which one can start making one's own decisions. Otherwise, parents would be chosing which colleges their kids would attend as well as what their major would be...then we'd end up with even more graduates who don't really use their degrees. I also agree, however, that most 18-year-olds are not ready for marriage much less parenthood. If I didn't feel a daughter was ready I'd encourage her to wait. However, if I felt my daughter was ready, and that's what she wanted to do, I'd support her. Everything varies case to case. Every person is different, so is every situation. I can't tell you what I'd do in a certain situation without knowing all the details. I don't see many things as only being black and white.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 3:57am
Well, with my husband having custody half of the time, I wouldn't need the child support, would I? I just wouldn't have as many expenses. Therefore, either way, I'd be all set. I'd do what I had to do. If I had to go to school during the day, work a few nights a week, and only get weekends with my son for a bit to earn my degree, that's what I'd do. However, I would eventually get it and start a career, and he'd eventually go to school...and it wouldn't be a permanent situation. It wouldn't be my ideal situation, but even if I had a degree and full-time career right now, having to work isntead of being at home with my kid would still not be my ideal situation. Either way time with my child would have to be sacrificed. I'm not going to go get a degree that I may not ever use, especially when I still have no idea what I'd want to do as a profession. I'm tied between writing, being a doula/child birth educator/lactation consultant/nurse of some type, teaching... there's a lot of things I'm interested in. I can't pick just yet. I need more time to decide...time that I have. ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 4:00am
Life insurance benefits can be paid out early in the event of terminal illness or disability. In any case, there are companies that sell medical insurance to people that run their own home businesses, as I do. ;) However, once again, it's really a nonissue, because I have faith in my husband whether you do or not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2005
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 4:40am
It's not a question of faith or lack of it in your husband. It was your very cavalier attitude toward health insurance for yourself that shocked me. In both cases of cancer, dh was neither terminally ill nor disabled. He did (and still does), however, require treatment that would, simply put, beggar us without health insurance to cover it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 4:45am
Once again, I already stated that there are companies that sell medical insurance to persons running their own home business. I don't have to be employed full-time for some corporation to have medical benefits.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2006
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 6:28am
I liked it a lot, too, when I did it as extended parenting leave when my kids were infants.

Sabina

Sabina

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

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