SAH doesn't support change,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
SAH doesn't support change,
3723
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 4:58pm

"SAH doesn't support change, it supports going backwards to the 1950's,"

Statement in a post below.

I wholeheartedly disagree. To me, SAH is a choice. How is that going back to the 1950s, when a lot of women didn't have much of a choice.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 9:06pm

Following ones heart only goes so far in the real world.

I want my children to be able to support themselves and have a decent education. A high school diploma simply doesnt cut it these days.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 9:07pm

I don't agree with the notion here, but I'm just wondering how so many would claim that on this board then turn around and instruct someone to get a degree 'just in case' directly after saying a former degree/career wouldn't help you much if you'd taken time off to SAH.

What I might well find myself working as isn't near as important as whether or not my son would have a cozy place to sleep and found in his belly. I'm really not the kind of person who'd mind even a job that others find less desirable, especially if it were only a temporary set up until I got a degree and made a better career.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 9:08pm
Theres no approval or disapproval. Just amazement at the lack of realistic consideration of those *what ifs*.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 9:10pm

Dont you think though, that generally speaking, its better for a person to get that education and work experience, perhaps travel and live and figure out WHO they are before they marry? And certainly before they bring a child into the world?

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 9:13pm
My father had that same attitude, and perhaps that's why I have one so different. Once again, what I encourage each of my children to do will depend on their plans, where they are in life, and the person I know them to be as well as the person I know they want to become.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 9:15pm
Once again, I don't care if you think it's unrealistic. You're not me. You haven't experienced what I have. You don't know of my capabilities. You don't know anything about the cost of living in my hometown. You don't know all of the details (aka "what ifs") of my situation, therefore you're not much of a judge of whether or not it's realistic.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 9:19pm
I don't think everyone needs to do all of those things to find out who they are and whatnot. Every person is different, as is every situation. I think it depends on the person...and when it comes to my children, what I encourage them to do/not do will depend on what I know about them at that particular moment.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 9:25pm
I got married at 19. And while I wouldnt recomend the way I got married exactly, it has worked out so far. Well atleast for the last 8 years. I think it really depends on the person. And how they view marriage. But your right. I have seen alot of marriages break up in the first couple of years when they are married as young as I was.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 9:48pm

Okay, my teacher side is surfacing. You're obviously capable of going to college, and right now you could study during DH's nap and after bedtime. If you wait until "an emergency," you could find yourself working for $1,300 a month with no time or money to attend college.

I say this because one of my best friends got married early, never attending college because she intended to SAH. Her husband became disabled and she had to work. She ended up substitute teaching at about half the rate teachers make.

She would have been a great elementary school teacher, but because she was working and had two children she didn't feel like she could spare the time to attend college.

One of her sons had many hospitalizations and medical problems that despite insurance, still ended up being extremely costly. She and her husband have now been married over 15 years and many months they struggle to survive, especially with growing electric and gas costs. She has a catering business which helps pay the bills, but even with a teaching degree (which probably pays about the least of any career requiring a college education), she would be making $15-$20,000 more per year than she makes now--and she wouldn't be working any more hours than she works currently.

Sorry for the lecture, but you're the age of many of my former students, and I couldn't help butting in.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 10:43pm

Considering that I am 20 years older than you, I've most likely had at least similar experiences. The difference is I've also had many many more experiences than you.

And while I might not be able to judge your personal situation, I can certainly say that as a general situation, a person with no education and minimal work skills is going to have a much harder time dealing with those *what ifs* than a person with an education and work history to fall back on.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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