SAH doesn't support change,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
SAH doesn't support change,
3723
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 4:58pm

"SAH doesn't support change, it supports going backwards to the 1950's,"

Statement in a post below.

I wholeheartedly disagree. To me, SAH is a choice. How is that going back to the 1950s, when a lot of women didn't have much of a choice.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-30-2006 - 10:46pm

And I certainly agree there are exceptions to everything. I just dont understand why people would want to make a difficult thing (marriage, children, etc) even more difficult by marrying when they havent even finished fully developing into who they are.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Thu, 08-31-2006 - 12:32am
I really don't buy that. You don't know if you've had similar experiences to mine because you don't know anything about my experiences. There's no guarantee that, being older than someone, you're going to have experienced everything they have experienced already. Everyone's life is different.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Thu, 08-31-2006 - 12:34am
Being capable doesn't mean I want or have to go. Why would I want to go get a degree I may never use in a career field I'm not entirely interested in on the off chance that my husband, whom I've known since I was a 15, will suddenly become a jerk. No thank you. I'm quite happy with my situation. Waiting for an emergency won't make me any less capable of getting a degree then than I am now. The same grants and federal aid will be available. The same options for online classes, nights & weekend school, etc. will be available. And I'll have the same transcripts and test scores.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Thu, 08-31-2006 - 2:41am

"Being capable doesn't mean I want or have to go. Why would I want to go get a degree I may never use in a career field I'm not entirely interested in on the off chance that my husband, whom I've known since I was a 15, will suddenly become a jerk. No thank you."

I dont think posters are saying you need to have an education and support yourself in case of Divorce... but more in the off chance you become alone, or your DH cannot work.

I dont mean to be rude, because I am all for SAH if the mom wishes it. But you seem a little blase when it comes to schooling. Yes you can always go to school later in life and find your niche. But I think you may be a little naive there. You did say if your DDs didn't want to go to college you wouldnt get pushy. College/University is something I would be talking to mine about long before High school is over. I really hope they realize that its good to find what you want to be, and go get an education. If they become SAH while their kids are young, I wouldn't consider that education a waste.

We all hope the best will happen, but we do need to keep in mind that the worst *could* happen tomorrow. We could lose our DHs in a freak car accident and there needs to be some sort of idea of how you are going to be able to go on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Thu, 08-31-2006 - 3:00am

We have life insurance, which will be more than enough to last me while I get a degree and career if my husband dies, and we have disability insurance that will cover him if he can no longer work. There are many ways of preparing for tragedy.

What I'd do with my children wouldn't depend on what I'd call a waste but on their individual needs and desires. How I'd handle a situation with my children would depend on who they are and what the circumstances were, and I certainly don't need to justify that to anyone. All I'm saying is that you can go to school at anytime, especially if you have the grades and resources, and that if my children don't want to go to school and have an alternative waiting, that's fine with me.

I am prepared for what "could" happen, and I can prepare my daughters for what "could" happen in many ways.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2006
Thu, 08-31-2006 - 6:47am

Sorry. My post was meant to be "tongue in cheek" because I honestly don't believe seeing a parent go off to work everyday instills a work ethic at all. You said woh is the "better" way to model for daughters a work ethic than by sah. And following that logic then, sah is the best way to instill the rest of the mess of ideals and good habits we parents are expected to pass along - an idea I also don't subscribe to.

I think seeing a parent go off to work everyday simply shows children that particular parent has that particular *routine.* How are they to know whether that parent has a work ethic? Perhaps that parent goes to work and spends the day on-line gambling. Perhaps it's better to see the sahm begin a daily routine of vaccuuming, laundry, and dusting?

But we've come full circle. I remember this was one of your first arguments when you came to this board and you walked away in disbelief that anyone could doubt this idea. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2005
Thu, 08-31-2006 - 6:48am
I don't know, I can't speak for them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2006
Thu, 08-31-2006 - 6:59am

That's true. I don't think children can possibly appreciate what their wohp does at the office. Take-our-sons/daughters-to-work day might be a good starting point, if only proud parents didn't use it to show off their kids to colleagues, open their mail and then go out for a big lunch and then leave early, lol.

Did you know how much work it takes to handle a deal or a trial until you were actually on the job? I sure didn't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2006
Thu, 08-31-2006 - 7:13am

<>

As a sahm, what child rearing challenges do I have?? Are you saying woh for pay can overcome some of those child rearing challenges?

(For the sake of this question, just assume we're not on WIC, have a few pennies in the bank and are content with what we can provide our kids.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2006
Thu, 08-31-2006 - 7:21am
Too funny. But don't knock office gossip. That's the only thing I miss about working. There's plenty of fodder among my social circles, but nothing as juicy and as often as working in a big firm in a big city.

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