SAH doesn't support change,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
SAH doesn't support change,
3723
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 4:58pm

"SAH doesn't support change, it supports going backwards to the 1950's,"

Statement in a post below.

I wholeheartedly disagree. To me, SAH is a choice. How is that going back to the 1950s, when a lot of women didn't have much of a choice.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2006
Sat, 09-02-2006 - 1:59pm

"Perhaps many parents without degrees, though, don't realize or understand what they have missed, and thus can't help their children see the importance of education beyond high school. The attitude they convey is, "We're doing fine without degrees" or "I couldn't advance further with a degree anyway." Or else they don't know what to do to help their kids."

That is one reason that I am glad that I left my hometown. That is the attitiude of many of my relatives/people in the area where I grew up and probably a big part of why I did not go to college. I think raising my kids in areas where there are a lot of college graduates and where going to college is seen as a normal thing to do after high school helped. Not all the influences to go on to college came just from DH and I but from their entire environment. They went through the SAT/ACT, college seach experience with their friends/peers. I think it would be much harder to influence a child to go to college living in an area where few people go to college then it is where most people do.

Out of curiosity I seached the college graduate rates between where I live now and my home town. Here just under 33% of those 25 years or older have a bachelor or higher degree. It my home town the figure is 11%.




Edited 9/2/2006 2:16 pm ET by texigan-again
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 09-02-2006 - 3:07pm
Well, it happened in my family. My dad set an example by *not* going to college. He regretted it, and he very much influenced all of my siblings to finish college. In fact, when my oldest brother wanted to drop out, it was my dad, not my college graduate mother, who persuded him to stick it out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2006
Sat, 09-02-2006 - 5:24pm
WOHM shouldn't recgonize SAHM for anything that I can think of. To be quite honest I don't know of one thing that SAHM should recognize WOHM for either. Who cares?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sat, 09-02-2006 - 5:42pm

i understand what you're saying and agree.

influence is unspoken. it's actions,examples imo...dh's interest in college didn't come from his parents because they weren't an example for him. his dad is a self taught individual whose experience and attitude is limited to what he knows and that doesn't include college. his parents supported him when he took the plunge adn they congratulated him when he graduated. but influence,they did not.

i think influence is being confused with support and encouragement....the influences we create for our children are what we live,what we believe. if we are adamant that our children go to college but haven't experienced it ourselves,then we've played a control game.....my parents influence had nothing to do with what they sat down and talked to me about,supported me on and everything to do with how they lived.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sat, 09-02-2006 - 6:50pm

curious what EXAMPLE your dad set because he regretted going to college? really. did he feel inferior to your college educated mother or the college educated parent he may have known? how did he measure his life anyway?

i'm not influenced by what my dad or mom told us to do....i'm influenced by the way they lived and by what they placed values on.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 2:30am

Yes they are. You can do almost all the general ed requirements the first two years, if desired, and if one hasnt declared a major.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 2:36am

My examples come from my belief system and the *real life* world too. Whats your point?

I'm teaching my kids that college is much more important now than it was when you and I graduated. I've discussed extensively the difficulties of returning to college when one has to also juggle children, bills, and work. I've discussed the job options my dh and I might have had if we'd done the 4 year degree thing rather than choosing other avenues. My children seem to have a firm grasp on the concept-why do you seem to think it would be so difficult to convey?

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 2:41am

That is just a ridiculous assumption.

My best friend has 4 kids. She did not go to college. She has worked very hard to make sure all of her kids go to college, and is just now sending the 3rd one off. She has managed to convey and teach quite well the importance of a college education, and is probably their BIGGEST influence.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 2:44am

Do you really think that the things a person places value on cannot change as they grow? When I was 18, I didnt place any value on a college education, didnt think I needed it, and didnt really receive any encouragement to go. At 41, I place a huge value on college, and can see in retrospect that I should have gone at 18.

You are making it sound like people live the exact same way and value all the same things their whole lives.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 2:47am
But not all parents who didnt get college degrees have the attitude that they dont need it, which is what she said.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

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