SAH doesn't support change,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
SAH doesn't support change,
3723
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 4:58pm

"SAH doesn't support change, it supports going backwards to the 1950's,"

Statement in a post below.

I wholeheartedly disagree. To me, SAH is a choice. How is that going back to the 1950s, when a lot of women didn't have much of a choice.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 2:50am

I agree.

I can see the value of plenty of things that I havent experienced myself. Not experiencing something doesnt mean one cannot influence their children towards it, or that one cannot see the importance of it.

Dj

"Now when I need help, I look in the mirror" ~Kanye West~

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2005
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 8:10am

With Advanced Placement and other exemptions, many students enter college already having completed "general ed" requirements--English, math, foreign language, history, science, even electives.

And students with majors like pre-med and music aren't likely to complete a bachelor's degree in four years if they are taking only general ed requirements the first year or two.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 9:45am
This sounds like my DH and I. He has the stronger feelings about our kids going to college straight out of high school. He is more influenced by the limits he has felt on his career choices without a degree and how hard it has been as an adult to fit college classes into "real" life. I admire him (and my mom did somthing similiar when we were all kids) so much for sticking to school one or two classes at a time - I know it is a much harder way to do it that how I went - 18 and no other real responsibilities except getting myself to class.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 9:58am
gotta disagree - a parent does not have to have expereinced something to influence thier children. my oldest is 16 and you know who one of her biggest influences is in regards to going to college - her older stepsister, she is 27 years old and my dd has watched her struggle and work multiple jobs and live paycheck to paycheck to make ends meet because she didnt go to college and my dd realizes she does not want to live that way when she gets older. she is a great person but that lack of a college education is making her life much harder than perhaps it would have been if she had that degree.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 10:05am
my parents influenced me in many many ways, and i took what they taught and showed me and applied what worked for me and discarded the rest. i love my parents dearly but have no desire to be a clone of them. there are things my parents believe in that i dont and vice versa. some of the things i value i do because i saw how my parents having the opposite beliefs shaped thier lives and i did not want that to be part of my life
Jennie
Avatar for mom34101
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 12:13pm

My dad set the example of someone who didn't go to college and always regretted it. Thus, if we didn't go to college we might end up regretting it--like he did.

I think it's weird that you're trying to make it sound as if somebody who regrets not going to college must feel "inferior" to his college-educated wife or be trying to "measure his life" by the wrong thing. None of the above.

I was very much influenced by my dad's life and what he put value on. One aspect of my dad's life was that, although he valued education, he did not have the opportunity to go to college and wanted something better for his own kids. He supported our education in many ways. All of us five kids are college graduates, and two have masters' degrees, and a good part ot of that is due to my father's influence.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 12:49pm
i can't think of one *regret* my parents showed or shared with me.....maybe that's the difference.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 1:11pm

name a couple then...you and tm aren't making it clear what values you have or have learned by not experiencing them. if college is important for your child,why wasn't it important for you? have either one of your kids asked you that question?

my parents didn't consider vacation important growing up so we didn't go. that did *not* influence my choice to make vacations,if just a couple days away per year,important for my own family. my parents considered education so much a priority that they disallowed p/t jobs during the school year. that influence sticks so much now that i'll probably lay that same law down with my own children....these are just my examples.




Edited 9/3/2006 1:17 pm ET by egd3blessed

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2006
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 1:26pm

thank you for that example......are you saying your dd would not have been influenced to attend college if your step dd wasn't living paycheck to paycheck? what if your step dd was a teller who worked her way up to teller line manager and loved her job? influences in my life are more positive than negative,i suppose.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 2:18pm
I started dating my husband a week after graduation. I had no place to live because my parents moved, so I got a job and an apartment so I could support myself and save money for college. That's a very different situation than my kids will be in. They won't have to find a job and a place of their own because mom and dad are moving. I didn't graduate, work at McDonald's, and live at home until I met Mr. Right. I graduated, decided to take a year's break, moved out because I had to, worked because I had to, and got married a few months later to a person I'd aleady been dating when I made those choices. I won't have to encourage my children to do as I say but not as I did. I will encourage them, if they are already dating someone and feel ready for marriage, to marry if I think they are ready. If they feel ready for children, and I agree, I'll encourage them to do that. However, I'm not going to tell them throughout highschool to forget college and just find a nice guy. If that's what they want to do, great, I support that but will tell them to go to college so they can support themselves until they do find Mr. Right. I think you're confusing "supporting my children's dreams, whatever they may be" with "I'm going to tell my children to just sit on their asses until they find their perfect mach!" I'm not going to defend this anymore. I'm just repeating myself. You already know that what you're saying of me isn't true, and I know you're deliberately misinterpreting what I'm saying--even though I couldn't be more clear about the fact that I'm not going to encourage my children to wait around for Mr Right and that it won't be encouraging them to do as I say not as I did considering I didn't do that. It's best to know what you're talking about before you open your mouth. You don't know me, my history, my reasons, what I've done beause I've had to do it, and what I've done for the heck of it. So, back off, because it's none of your business. I won't be explaining this to you anymore, because I have the right to do as I please when it comes to my children. I don't care if you understand or agree. Good day.

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