SAH doesn't support change,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
SAH doesn't support change,
3723
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 4:58pm

"SAH doesn't support change, it supports going backwards to the 1950's,"

Statement in a post below.

I wholeheartedly disagree. To me, SAH is a choice. How is that going back to the 1950s, when a lot of women didn't have much of a choice.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2006
Sun, 09-03-2006 - 11:52pm
what i am saying is that she sees first hand how difficult it can be to get by without a college education and that is a good motivator for her to go to college - certainly not the only one.
Jennie
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 2:47am
You don't know me well enough to judge me, but I personally don't care either way if you think I'm immature. I'm quite grown up, and though I do still have and always will have much to learn, I do know that I don't know everything. I also know that you don't know everything and that there isn't one right answer to every question, nor one single right way to live life. I don't have to convince you that I'm as well off as if I had gone to college and had a career, because I know that I am. As I write the check to pay our mortgage, which we closed upon before my husband was even 20 years old and as I shop for our new, much larger house back home with my husbad, I'm quite comfortable with my decisions and my life. I don't want to go to college right now. I have no calling to leave my child for many hours a day to get a degree or start a career. You seem to think you can't go to college at any age other than 18, and I know for a fact from what those dear to me have done that it isn't true. You seem to think that every degree takes years and years to complete, and I know that isn't true from my experience, once again, with those I love such as my husband and step-mother. I do attempt to learn from others, but I do not live my life simply to please and impress others. I see the value in a college education, but that doesn't mean I'm going to start a career that I'm not truly interested in right now or encourage a child to do something that I and they know they are not ready for. At least I'm not in a position where I feel like I should judge others, call people immature, question the situations of others, or dish out unwanted advice on the internet. I'm happy enough with my individual life and respectful enough to know that everyone has to walk a different path.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 2:50am
I won't, but once again, that wouldn't be my income forever--just for the few years it took me to get a degree and start a career. You seem to be operating thinking that I'm planning on surviving on 1300 a month for the rest of my life and on the assumption that I cannot and will not ever go to college, which is completely inaccurate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 2:52am
Yep, and we'll be making quite enough to cover it. With his training, on-the-job experience, and free military degree, there's plenty of well-paid oppertunities all around the country for my husband. And my husband isn't being kicked out. His entire career field is being eliminated. He signed up for a 4 year tour. It ends next November. Rather than reinlist and retrain in a less desirable career field, we've chosen to just become civilians.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 2:55am

Well, believe it, because he started a while after joining the military and will be finished just before getting out. I'm sure the program, being mostly classes the military had hiim take (such as the one he just completed) will be recognized--as well as his training and 4 years of on-the-job experience, plus his service record which isn't too shabby.

And you don't need a bachelor's degree for all career fields. A bachelor's degree does help you be competitive and have better wages and benefits, get better positions, etc.; however, you can start out with an associates, get paid decently, continue schooling for your bachelor, and do just fine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 3:02am

Regardless of what most bachelor degrees are taking to finish, there are ways of completing them early. Yes, most money out there is in the form of loans, but everyone in my family who has gone to college went for free on grants and scholarships. With my GPA and test scores, I'm not too worried about getting money--especially with the pending bill that may make the militar montgomery GI available to spouses and children.

No, the waitresses I know are not all single parents. Some are. I might not be happy with having to use daycare a lot, but I'd be JUST as miserable having to put my child in daycare if I were a lawyer as if I were a waittress.

You don't have to go to school full-time to get a degree in a few years, and I wouldn't necessarily be going to nursing school. There are many programs that I could complete in a few years. Even if it took 4-5, that still doesn't put me with such limited earning potential for the rest of my life.

Regardless, I don't have to explain myself or my plans to you. I know what I could make work, because I know what I've made work in the past.

I'm not bringing anything up anymore; I'm answering nosy questions. Keep asking. Keep smugly thinking that I'm a naive (proper spelling) and immature little child whose husband is going to run away and leave her penniless and who will run to mom and dad for help. That's fine with me. I know better, and I don't care if you do, too. ;)

There are plenty of degrees out there, plenty of programs, plenty of ways to get them, lots of flexibility, etc. Just because you did it a certain way or didn't have access to a certain window of oppertunity, just because most people take a long amount of time, doesn't mean that's true of everyone. If my stepmother, stepfather, and husband could get degrees and turn them into decent careers quickly, so can I. If they got grants, so can I. Especially considering I have better transcripts and test scores than them :P

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 3:07am

'Sorry to hear about your grandfather's health, but *that's* your back-up plan?'

No, it's not, but it is a possibility, an oppertunity that would be open to me--one of several. It is actually something that I've thought of doing since I was a child helping myself to a free peice of pie at a bar stool ;)

'Sure, running a small business is more likely to generate a living wage than is waitressing or delivering take-out. But it also takes working very long hours (as I am sure you are aware from your grandfather). And some education on finances or running a business couldn't hurt, either.'

I can learn plenty from my grandfather and others who have helped along the way, and I could go get a business degree. I don't have to have one right now to get one some day. Moreover, my grandfather works about 40 hours a week right now, sometimes less because he's sick...and his business is doing fine. I thought 40 hours was a normal full-time work week? Regardless, I'd have to work just the same if not more hours as a nurse or lawyer or something of the sort.

"I would do whichever made the most sense for my family."

So would I, but I'm not in that situation yet so I don't have an official "This is what I'm going to do if things don't work out" plan considering there is a lot that could change between now and then. I have a lot of possibilities, and I think many people do if they'd just look for them. That's another reason not to get a degree. I could get a nursing degree now, then later on decide I'd rather take over the family business--then have to go back again for a business degree.

Whatever you guys think about my situation, it is still my situation. I'm doing what I feel is best for me and my family, as everyone else in the world (well, mostly everyone else) is doing. I appreciate the concern and advice, but I can handle what life has thrown at me. I've been thrown a lot of curves in life and dealt with them just fine.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 3:08am
Or maybe they just want something different out of life? If the number of graduates is growing, then that means there's obviously a lot of people managing to graduate. I'm sure I could, too, if I decided to go back later on. ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 3:10am
I will if there comes a time when I do feel it's necessary or when I feel like I'm ready to start a career. There's nothing wrong with wanting to wait until my children are a bit older, whether you think so or not. I'm a much better judge of what I'm likely to do than you anyhow ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2006
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 7:55am

<>

So you must think that 74% of the U.S. adult female population and 71% of the males are immature. They don't and will never have their college degrees.

<> I'm sorry to hear that those you know without the degree are living hollow lives of regret and desperation.

I'm more inclined to think that 74% of the women and 71% of the men have somewhere along the line (perhaps by age 60 or 70 or so) resigned themselves to the fact that they will not be getting that degree and live with it. In my world, Punka probably represents the much healthier accepting attitude of those many, many people in the US who are degree-less.

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