SAH doesn't support change,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
SAH doesn't support change,
3723
Sat, 08-26-2006 - 4:58pm

"SAH doesn't support change, it supports going backwards to the 1950's,"

Statement in a post below.

I wholeheartedly disagree. To me, SAH is a choice. How is that going back to the 1950s, when a lot of women didn't have much of a choice.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 3:47pm

"I said 21 did not equal maturity."

That's because age has nothing to do with maturity. A person's experience, level of responsibility, and various other factors have a lot more to do with their maturity than their age. Most 21 year-olds are immature, but you don't know me and thus making that judgement based on my age is ridiculous. I'm a lot more mature than most people my age and even many people twice my age.

"Then you say Punkalicorn's "healthier accepting attitude"--which isn't anything like "resigned to the fact." She doesn't think she needs the degree, whereas someone with a resigned attitude thinks the degree would have been better, but has accepted the fact that he won't be able to get the degree while working full-time, caring for kids, etc."

I'd much rather be happy with my decision than regret it. I don't think I need it right now. I don't want or need a career, and therefore I don't want or need a degree. I think the degree will be good to have one day, but not today. The word accept has several meanings. An accepting attitude means that you're okay with whatever others decide to do with their lives and that you don't think there's one right choice for everyone...whereas accepting something you cannot do is coming to terms with it, resigning to it, and being okay with that destiny. I think everyone should have an accepting attitude and stop judging people for having a different plan in life.

"I agree that resignation is better than regret, but I don't think ignorance is healthy either, as it is likely to reproduce the same results in the next generation."

I agree, but I don't think chosing to wait to attend college and start a career is an indicator of ignorance--only of having a different life plan, different wants and desires, etc. I want to be home with my children in these early years--and not just part of the day. I think that's what's better for my whole family, and that's what I'm doing. It's not that I'm ignorant; it's that I have a different idea of what kind of life I want for me and my family. You're right that I'm not resigned to anything...because I can and will go get a degree when I'm ready and willing. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 3:49pm
I disagree. I think it depends on the person and what they want in life. I don't think a person should sit around, skip college, and work minimum wage until Mr. Right comes then get pregnant. I think if they are already engaged and decide to marry and have children first, that's perfectly acceptable. You don't understand my choice to enjoy my children's younger years as much as I can before getting a degree and starting a career, but I don't understand you or anyone else could believe that ONE choice is right for everyone...so we're even.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 3:54pm

"But even full-time students are rarely in class over 18 hours a week, part-timers around 9."

Well, I'd still much rather be spending those hours with my son right now...and I don't think I need to sacrifice those hours right now. I don't see any harm in waiting a few years.

"that doesn't prevent me from respecting and learning from the opinions of others here"

It doesn't prevent me from doing that either, but it doesn't mean I appreciate being told I'm immature or ignorant as some have done. :/ I do agree that having a career and a degree is a great back up plan and that an education is very useful. I just don't think it's absolutely necessary; I think there are other ways. I do agree that having a degree would be good for me. I just don't think that I need one right now considering I'm a SAHM with no intent of starting a career anytime soon!

"since you're not looking for advice, I will attempt to throw away the didactic part of my personality when I read your messages."

Advice is okay...but rather than advising me to totally change my situation, give me something that will actually work with my ideals. ;P I've made my choice, have my plans and ideals, and I just want that accepted--not changed.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 3:55pm
I hardly think having one's own opinions about how their own life should be lived and whether or not one path is the right one for everyone is comparable to a teen whining that everyone gets to stay out late and thus so should she.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 3:59pm
No, I'm not. They are downsizing the Air Force right now. They are packed. There's a long waiting list to go away for bootcamp, and they're so saturated that very few career choices are available to new recruits anymore. They're contracting a lot of jobs out, having people retrain for different career fields, and trying to create new, different jobs. They are even letting some people out early, which is another thing we're considering. A few people in my husband's shop have been generally discharged for slacking off, which is extremely rare. The branches extending tours and recalling soldiers are mainly the Marine Corp and the Army, not the Air Force to my knowledge. No one we know has had their tour extended or been called back, and we know a few who have gotten out early or been discharged, like I said, for just being slackers. We're not really worried. They've got enough people waiting to join that they don't need to make us stay in. We could stay in if we wanted to, but Corey would have to retrain. Considering the starting salary for his career field with his level of experience is $50,000 (usually higher), we're ready to just get out!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 4:00pm
I agree.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 4:01pm
But that shows your bias right there. First of all, you categorized your family as either having a college education or being total losers. Second of all, you inferred that successful people without degrees are rare. IME that is certainly not the case. I agree that there is no substitute for a solid education. I totally disagree that college is the only or the best way to get one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 4:04pm
I didn't say everyone or most people could do that, I just said that I could.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 4:08pm

I've learned a lot that have nothing to do with books. I think that's part of real life, not college. In getting a business degree, being in my Junior year of it, there has not been anything so far that I couldn't have learned with a book and a test at the end. They are mostly math and business classes, however.

Let me ask you a question... other than the types of things you learned in a book, like Principles of Economics or something like that, what exactly did you learn in college that you could not learn anywhere else?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 09-04-2006 - 4:12pm
I personally believe the drive and ambition gene is far more important than the "fix it" gene. My brothers are technically in vocational trades, but they aren't successful because they know how to fix things. They are successful because they work harder and smarter than most people. Same with my dh. My dh hasn't been a stellar success at every trade he tries because he's just good at using his muscles. He's a stellar success because he's got more of something else. He gets things done. Doesn't matter what it is. I think that a college education is important for people who need specialized knowledge in order to do their jobs.

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