SAH IS HARMFUL!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
SAH IS HARMFUL!!!
2888
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:32am

Or at least this woman thinks so.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 7:33pm
I'm all for being equal partners with our dh's. Never said I wasn't. I'm also for showing our dd's they can be self reliant.

And what does my pending divorce have to do with this debate? Don't you worry your pretty little head, dh will get what's coming to him. Guess I should really make a spectacle of him just to make an impact on my dd's, huh?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 7:36pm
When it comes to the dabate, I look at averages because you can't debate individual situations. Your situation is rare if 6 years of unemployment doesn't change the total you'll pay in taxes in your lifetime. Rare indeed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 7:37pm
Great post! sounds like you have your priorities in order after suffering through some terrible events in your life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 7:38pm
You are right.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 7:39pm
I have no idea what your idea of better is. Mine is a work place that understands the need for balance in our lives. In order to attain that, we kind of have to actually stay in the work force.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 7:40pm
I didn't say it would stop you, however, the tendency to think in terms of what our mothers do is there. We can educate our dd's, WRT, other choices but our actions do speak louder than our words.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 7:45pm
You make it sound like SAHM do not plan for any of those things in the future. I know many families with SAHPs that plan for all those things just like families with dual WOHPs. They are just as prepared for all those scenarios that you listed as the dWOHP familes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 7:46pm
No, he wants someone who I will never be. When your realize that your dh wants someone totally different than you, it's time to walk. Things got delayed a bit when dd ended up in emergency surgery two days before he was supposed to be served. I didn't think it fair to her to have to deal with us divorcing while she was in the hospital. Dh is free to go find whoever it is he wants to be married to. All I know is she ain't me. I don't need a spouse who is trying to change me into a subservient little wimpette. THAT is not my style. I'm just trying to figure out how in the hell it took him 25 years to figure out he married the wrong woman.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 7:47pm
I think you can teach your dds to do whatever they want to do & teach them they may have to work due to money being needed for living expenses.

My mother always WOHFT & grew up herself with a FTWOH.

She taught me I could mold my life & do whatever I wanted (providing the money wasn't needed). Now mind you, this is coming from a mother who has all these years & continues today to work for play money.

So I've WOH, SAH, WOH again, SAH again, and now I'm WOH again. Down the road I may still be WOH or I may teach only mornings or I may SAH again. But my mother taught me that as a woman I could do whatever I wanted to do & be proud to be a woman.

I'm raising my dd in the same fashion.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Wed, 08-11-2004 - 7:49pm
And I still end up late half the time, lol. I am so spoiled. My idea of a traffic problem is getting stopped at a light.

It's going to become a 20 minute commute here shortly as I plan to start riding my bike, weather permitting, when the girls start back to school.

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