SAH IS HARMFUL!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
SAH IS HARMFUL!!!
2888
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:32am

Or at least this woman thinks so.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2004
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 10:39am
<> I could be wrong, but isn't this what GK has been saying all along? that the contributions we make to society come from our status as MOMS, NOT whether we work or not?

eileen

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 10:49am
my installer recommended hands and knees as well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 10:52am
I actually meant to be responding to grimalskinskeeper's post, not yours. I just put it in the wrong place.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 10:57am
Well, now I KNOW I've gone off the deep end and made us sound like we are the Rockefellers! I don't suppose my dh and I have any higher of an SES than you do, we just come from such modest backgrounds, are somewhat nervous of money being "corrupting," and are working very hard at being "satisfied" with what we have rather than always looking for more.

It may have something to do with my dh being in the sales world where people (mostly at his former employer and mostly before 9/11) readily made $300-$500K in a good year. We've watched certain co-workers make some really poor choices and we just don't necessarily equate more income with a better life. Struggle is good for you. Take away the adversity and you take away your chance to regularly demonstrate creative thinking.

It may also have something to do with the fact that when we go home to visit our parents, we both are re-entering a very modest world that bears very little resemblance to the one we have ourselves. We are reminded of where we came from and how that was perfectly okay for us growing up; in fact, you could say it created the best conditions possible for us to want to achieve great things--yet once we do, how do we provide those same conditions for OUR children? (Here's an example: my iPod that I got for Mother's Day cost more than my mother has spent on home furnishings and decorating in the past five years. Huge disparity there.)

When I was young, I dreamed of a certain lifestyle. Now we have gone and exceeded that and it seems just silly to want even more. (Maybe my dreams were more modest than others. I wasn't dreaming of a princess lifestyle!) I see what other ambitious people (our peers) have done with their money and I'm just not that inclined to want to go in that direction. Does that make sense?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 11:12am

You and Donna (cocoapop) are both so very intelligent and sensitive to the corrupting possibilities of money that I very highly doubt either of you would make poor choices in that regard.

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Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 11:33am
Because the point is that you don't have to physically model everything right in your immediate family for your kids to learn it.

My good friend works. Her DH owns two local bar/restaurants. He's home much of the day and is the one who takes his son to school and activities. My son sees that, but has no idea that it's not the norm in life. Would you prefer I sit DS down and say, "See Andrew's daddy? See how he's home and he's the one who brings him to school? You can do that some day too if you want to." Sheesh. Like when he has kids, he won't know he has that option.

Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 11:41am
How is it that your DDs are the only ones who can look to OTHERS as role models, but the rest of our kids will only see the immediate role models (or lack thereof, according to you) in our families?


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 11:44am
I wondered that.

Since we have a male pediatrician, male mailman, I usually use one of the guys as my teller at the bank or there is always a guy working the window, and I often get in the guys line at our local grocery I wonder what harm I'm doing to my little girl who doesn't in these cases see women.

Paige

Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 11:45am
ITA! My mom is a career SAHM, yet I've also been employed steadily since I was 16. Good parents raise their kids to be independent, have their own minds and to make their own choices in life....NOT to follow exactly in their footsteps.
Avatar for mygriffin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 11:48am
You might also be stacking the deck against them. There are also women who grew up with WOHMs who choose to SAH because they didn't like their childhood with a WOHM.

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