SAH IS HARMFUL!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2002
SAH IS HARMFUL!!!
2888
Thu, 07-08-2004 - 11:32am

Or at least this woman thinks so.

Okmrsmommy-36, CPmom to DD-16 and DS-14

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 6:01pm
Nope. I simply don't put them on a pedestal. SAH is nothing special and nothing to blow your horn about.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 6:01pm
Then why not call them mom contributions instead of SAHM contributions if they are contributions all moms make?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 6:02pm
Nope. What I've been asking all along is what is this supposed SAH contribution. All moms make contributions regardless of working status. THose would be mom contributions. I'm asking what this SAHM contribution is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 6:04pm
The problem is, they're only in danger of losing women who just had babies. As long as that is the case, all women will pay for the stereotype. It takes staying to convince them women will stay and in staying changes can be made.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 6:20pm
What's wrong with what? Your marriage? Umm, all I have to go on is what you've posted here and if I have to spell out why the type of marriage you have isn't the greatest one to present to children as an example for them to learn by, then we have a huge disconnect here.

I don't presume that your dh writes poetry. He didn't write that Dr. Laura book, did he? I meant he will find another book to give you that will help redeem himself. If a book can cause all this damage, then surely another book can repair it.

How can it be that getting divorced won't lower your SES? I'm curious. Especially since at the same time you will be going into a lower paying career?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 7:18pm
No, what I'm modeling for my dd's WRT marriage? Dh and I managed 25 years without too much trouble before he decided he married the wrong woman.

The divorce will be hard on the girls but I'd be a piss poor role model to stay in a marriage where I'm required to become a subservient little wimpette just to please my man. Sorry, but I didn't foresee, 25 years ago, that dh would decide I wasn't what he wanted after all. I have to make do with what I have to work with. Unfortunately, that isn't going to be easy on the kids.


Edited 8/12/2004 10:35 pm ET ET by grimalkinskeeper

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 7:36pm
What products? I want to see if you are touching my life. paige
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 7:37pm
Neither is WOH.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 7:40pm
I played with my dd & had time for me. I made no special contribution because I stayed home.

I still cleaned, did laundry, & grocery shopped after 3:30 in the afternoon like I do now as a WOHM.

Paige

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 08-12-2004 - 7:46pm
You know what? I'm not going to list all the things you've written here before about what is rotten about your marriage, some of which has to have been impossible to hide from your daughters. I know I read them. But I just don't have the heart to sit here and toss your words back in your face.

Suffice it to say, in my meager opinion, you have done no favors to your daughters in your role modeling, regardless of your work ethic or career choices.

P.S. If it is so apparent that your dh wants someone else, someone you aren't, why do you insist on waiting for him to make the first move? What exactly are you modeling there?

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